The drawing board is pictured above...
My wife says I should stop being grumpy and not look at customers as potential annoyances but as opportunities. I need to start answering my phone and be friendly because what I am really doing is just thinking about myself and it is counter productive.She does make a good point. If I truly "didn't care," then I wouldn't be affected by annoying people because, why do they annoy me? Because i am thinking about myself? Right?
What I wonder is what other grumpy people think.
Why do you want people to "just leave you alone?" Is that selfish reasoning?
I have read, "How to have friends and influence People," and I do realize I get very good results from following the ideas in that book.
Going to farm meetings and talking to other farmers is the way to make friends and bring in business.
If left to my own devices i would muddle about the farm and build useless things and mess with old stereos and grind feed but not sell it to anyone.
I think the real problem is that deep down I am lazy. Being grumpy and remote facilitates that...
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I have very few close friends and I pick them carefully. When I was asked to attend my 45th high school anniversary I said why? I'm still friends with the two people I got along with & the only thing I have in common with the rest is that we attended the same school. I can out-grump & out lazy hermit you any day. You work harder than anyone I know.
ReplyDeleteSince you volunteered by responding, and since I am trying to warm my frozen fingers after attempting to start a truck, I will use you as an example.
DeleteWhy are you grumpy?
How does being grumpy make your life better?
You have a beautiful ranch, wife, IH truck, Traxcavator, why should you not be obnoxiously happy all the time?
Why would you not be friendly with all the people you went to school with?
Why would not there be interesting stories or perhaps worthwhile friendships that you over looked?
Should you be a hermit? Does not it just make you weirder?
Is limiting access just a way of getting around low self esteem?
Did you save any of those books on Psychotherapy? Or the German Gothe books?
One of the things that got me to a grumpy state was that I find that if I am happy and cheerful it gets me into situations where I have to say no. I hate to say no and I hate to pick and choose you to say yes to and who to say no. If I appear to be annoyed with everybody and everything then I can volunteer to help when I want to help and I don't have to say no.
Anyway, my "little" helper is here and so I must soldier on...
Grumpy? Hermit? I guess I qualify. Why, I have no idea. I just got reminded why I don't often answer my phone. Another survey with a few pointless questions to verify that I did not qualify to do the rest of the survey. Actually I was glad since I really can't be bothered answering a bunch of survey questions anyway. Trouble is the answering machine sometimes filters out a few people I really wouldn't mind talking to but they don't care to talk to an answering machine.
ReplyDeletePerhaps there is no real answer. I had a similar conversation with a neighbor up north of me who builds interesting things and posts them on NAT.
ReplyDeleteIt is not that we are terribly selfish or self absorbed. What really is wrong with just wanting to be left alone?
My wife is correct in that I need to get out of my comfort shell and interact but you don't need to and neither does MuddyValley. So I guess I just won't worry about it anymore.
Smile and nod, smile and nod...
Have a nice day...
I've always wished I'd become the hermit I'd planned on being when I got out of high school. Friendliness is over-rated!
ReplyDeleteIt is never to late to start...
DeleteHow many of the average persons "friends" can they really rely upon to drop whatever they are doing and come at a moment's notice, in a time of need? A real friend knows that you would not impose upon him (or her) unless it was a real emergency, That is a person that can be relied upon, and one who also knows that it is reciprocal.
ReplyDeleteThose are the people I enjoy interacting with.
I almost called you to come help me set the grain drill today. I had to turn the wheel and weigh the seed and I can't do the twisting motion needed to turn the wheel.
DeleteThen I thought that was probably asking a bit much and I would be obligated to help you move something weighing 1000lbs with only a hand truck and two bumper jacks.
I was in the midst of such a moral quandary when my helper arrived. I told him he was going to have to turn the wheel 352 times, weigh the seed, make an adjustment, and then turn it another 352 times.
He seemed to take that a bit personal and was quite relieved that the wheel really only needed to be turned 31 and one quarter turns.
We had to repent the measurement sequence 16 times to get a full range of settings so it took a hour or so but now I have a chart for planting tillage radish with a Great Plains drill on 22" centers.
In case anyone is interested...
Hmmm, what was I talking about?
You should have called! It would have given me something easier to do than clean out one of the barn bays so I can pour a floor there. Need any heavy old junk motors, compressor heads, old wagon parts, parts of a rusted out model A, a broken walk-in safe door, assorted rotten wood, an old shallow well pump? I would have had a chance to drive the new/old truck!
ReplyDeleteI am working on the science of laziness. For my land line, I now not only don't answer the phone but also don't even listen to the messages. It filled up 3 years ago and now you can't leave one.
ReplyDeleteI have found living in the city that the best way to deal with panhandlers is to smile and nod. Not when they first spot you, as that only encourages them to ask you for money. But if you wait until just before they make their pitch, a good smile and a quick nod (up and down, not right to left), and you can usually walk right on by without exchanging a word.