The Useful Duck!

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Sunday, June 26, 2016

My week

I have a new assistant. She is a history major. She likes to discuss the War of Northern aggression.
She can argue about theology, (can actually quote scripture), politics, guns, philosophy, and she is learning to back a trailer.
It is amazing to encounter a young college student who is interested about everything.
Sometimes she gets a little carried away with her driving.
It could be that I am a bad example...
She did get a little close to the beaver pond. I was actually impressed at how far she got off the trail with the Gator.
In other news...
I left the Ford Ranger in the middle of 350 acres. Someone stole the wheels off of it. We have let some young people go fishing at our farm. A friend of a friend is a tweeker.

I called the Sheriff. There is really nothing you can do about it. No serial numbers on aluminum rims and half worn out tires.
Speaking of half worn out tires... What sort of a moron steals worn out tires and aluminum Ford Ranger rims? You risk getting shot and go to all the work of exchanging wheels at 4 a.m. over something you could get for next to nothing from your local scrapper?
We got the license number of the vehicle leaving our farm. Just thought it was one of the kids fishing.

On the other hand...
My faith in humanity was restored yesterday.
I was moving the Tedder down highway 99W and my hat blew off. I of course slammed on the brakes because I didn't want to lose my hat. My bald spot would burn.
A passenger in one of the cars that I backed up, (a long line) jumped out, grabbed my hat, and brought it to me.
I said, "thank you very much."

My nephew from Portland came to visit. He got to experience farming. I sprayed molassas on the rained on hay. He helped. I rigged up a sprayer on the bumper of my pickup and we followed the windrows around the field.
I suspect he thinks farming is boring and full of strange misadventures.
He seems to be somewhat saddened by the violation of my Ranger. I suspect he respects my ability to not get stuck with bald tires.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

I have an 80 percent higher risk

Of dying from prostate cancer because I eat two eggs a day.
MuddyValley harshed my mellow yesterday by telling me eggs increased my risk of prostate cancer.
I was going to suggest that it depended on which end you inserted the eggs but desisted.
One of the work study students asked me yesterday if carrying that heavy load ever got me down, that heavy load I carry because I'm so full of shit.
I had it coming. She had been gushing about the magic of water. This brought on several comments from other students groundskeepers.
Like, you got the wrong plate of brownies sister, and then someone brought up fluoride and someone else pointed out that fluoride makes you gay and much hilarity followed.
But I digress...
Popular nutritional research that increase your risk of colon and/or prostate cancer.
I found one person that disagrees.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

I try out the hot tub and drink coconut oil to improve my brain functions!

I woke with a start this morning. It was a bit of a panic. I was alone in bed and the sun wa streaming through the window.
Chickens were clucking the rooster was crowing. 
I looked at my trusty fitbit which I've been using to quantify my lack of sleep, and it read 9:45 AM.
I quickly texted my daughter, not really wanting to get out of bed, to see if she thought she could get ready for church in one half hour.
She did not answer.
So I drug my aged carcass across the living room down the hall into her bedroom. She was asleep.
We quickly reached a consensus. Not a chance.
So went looking for the lovely and gracious mrs. Shepherd. She was wrapped in a fuzzy blanket on the couch.
I remembered the old adage, it is best to let sleeping dogs and wives lie and so I retired to the bedroom with a not quite steaming cup of coffee, (evidence that she was up early) to attempt to find out if I have enough money to make my Baler payment and purchase twine. After three hours of trying to get quickBooks Pro 2012 to work with my iBook, I gave up and got out of bed. QuickBooks no longer works on my iBook. I need these stupid upgrades that bloat your computer and make it unusable.
I stuck with Apple for years but unfortunately it is now worse than a PC.
Frustrated beyond belief, I mixed up a healthy dose of coconut oil and brown sugar in my coffee, found a piece of Odd Moe's pizza in the refrigerator and retired to the hot tub, pizza in hand.
and attempted to blog using text to speech. 
Apple products are overrated.
My daughter came out and told me to quit talking so loud.
I think she was a bit put off by the possibility of a naked father eating pizza in the hot tub. 
I was not naked.
Note: I checked the sleep catigory on the Fitbit and I got ten hours of sleep. This is up from my weekly average of six and because of that I got a smiley face. That really motivates me to sleep more. I like smiley faces!!!

Note: it is really quite peaceful here. I can hear the bells from the distant monestary which seem quite cheerful. No doubt soon to be replaced by the caterwauling of an Imam if the ruling elite get their way...

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Triple digit heat and a threat of rain (in my mind only)

I think it is going to rain.
I'm not especially well prepared for rain.
Most people don't think it will rain.
Here are my reasons:
Flocked sky two days ago. The Flocked Sky appeared while there were showers but it is always a good indicator of future rain. The sky looks "funny" in the evenings. "Funny Sky" is an official meteorological term which means i don't know what is going on but it looks like rain.
The Portland Rose festival is coming up and always rains during the Rose Festival.
In past weather patterns, overly hot weather in the spring is followed by rain.
And finally, we have hay down and I have promised to stack bales for other people and I don't have time to do it.
No one else thinks it will rain. People are cutting hay like there is no tomorrow...

Lulu helped me yesterday. I even fixed her air conditioning. She wore out fairly quickly however.
I had to load a truck of straw.
It was not a good day.
The truck arrived late.
It was supposed to get to the barn around 10 a.m.
The truck driver called me at 1 p.m. and said he was an hour away. I was getting the rake going. Then I decided to eat my lunch and right a the moment I got my leftover Uncle Jack's BBQ ribs on my plate the farmer called and said my truck was at his barn.
I ate my lunch anyway.

The blocks of straw would not say together. The squeeze clamps at the bottom of the stack. The bales squished so much that I had to add extra bales so that the squeeze could clamp tight. I didn't figure this out right away...

The truck driver looked as if he was going to have heat stroke. However he still wanted to talk. I couldn't hear him anyway. He talks softly.
I got it loaded by 7 p.m., the Trucker was not amused.
Oh well... life is full of pain and suffering.
I returned home and the hydraulic clutch was not working on the stacker. It took me a while to bleed the air out of the line as the bleeder screw was plugged.
I stacked until 11 p.m., should have gone longer.
Neighbor called at 8 a.m. to see if I could stack for him. I don't think he wants to do it after Church as he will have to run his loader tractor in 102 degree heat. I hope my a/c holds out.
I want to go kayaking with my daughter...

In other news...
My new work-study student wants to know why people are voting for Trump. It was an interesting discussion as I don't like Trump either.

This is why people are voting for Trump, everyone is fed up with the people who are protesting Trump. Click on my links and tell me how you feel about the opposition! (Note: it is the Daily Mail)
Headline says Black Muslim but he looks a little pink to me...

Senior prank turned political by activists

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