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Monday, May 28, 2012

More about the Harper Valley PTA

My page views plummeted today. Bad title to the post or people don't care about Jeanne C. Riley.

But, I’ve been thinking about the Harper Valley P.T.A song this afternoon. It kept my mind off the real issues of planting corn into wet ground.
I got started on quite the rant but now have lost interest since the album ended and I had to get up and lift the tone arm. I've got to go back to a semi-automatic turntable. This old Rek-O-Kut has some snob appeal as a esoteric collector piece but the tonearm does not return on it's own. Plus, I get a real kick out of playing low brow County-Western Music on Muddy Valley's father's old turntable, which I'm sure never played anything but classical and that very odd album of sea chanties with the dead naked girl wrapped in a fishing net as the album cover photo. 
But, I digress...
The Harper Valley PTA song wan incredibly popular song which ended up changing the interpretation of cultural values. The idea that all the authority figures are tragically flawed really appeals to our modern world view. As I look back on people I know I am starting to realize that it doesn't really matter if they do have feet of clay, you must do the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing. It is an advanced concept that they don't teach you anymore.
So my first observation was kind of an off the cuff reaction. I’ve heard a couple rants which used this song as an example of the double standards of what was once considered respectable society.
My problem is that there is so redemption in the song. Instead of inspiring some sort of revival of social norms and responsibility and honesty, bad behavior just became the norm. No one had the depth to see that all the characters in the song were flawed. It is like the philosophical view of Absurdism where we are condemned by our humanity to search for meaning in the universe, but there is no meaning. It is just a random series of events thrown together that we try to make sense out of.
In somewhat the same way, or perhaps because of this idea, we just assign meanings to events in a way that justifies our behavior even though the actual lesson that should be learned is so much different.
If you behave badly and lie about it, that behavior provides no justification for my bad behavior.
I’ve always thought it was kind of bizarre that Mrs. Johnson justified her own possible “bad” behavior by the double standards of others. You do the right thing for sake of doing the right thing. I’ve observed that most authority figures are not worthy of their position.
But, at the same time I do hate smarmy people telling me what to do and judging my life when they are morons.
The obvious message is exposing the double standard of those who are judging her and that struck a chord with the song’s audience. It apparently gave a whole generation of people an excuse to justify self destructive behavior just because other people were doing it and lying about it.
 But, there is more to the song and to the cultural reasons for the PTA’s disapproval of Mrs. Jones wearing short skirts and drinking in bars.
She is a single female with a child. She is showing some skin and hanging out in bars-why? Because she likes the taste of bourbon and she likes the cool breeze on her legs? Well, I suspect she is using her sex to find someone to support her and help care for her child. Although we suspend reality to officially believe that yes indeed, she does just like the taste of bourbon.
I find it interesting that hypocritical people are using behavior that violates the stated norms of society mostly for recreational purposes. That somehow is not viewed as the level of threat that a single female on the prowl poses to society.
Then there is the interesting feminist angle. This is a portrait of woman who has taken charge of her life. She is not a victim but rather is an aggressor.  Is this why they hate her? Some would say yes.
We are also looking at her from an empathic position. We don’t see her as a truly predatory woman but instead we see her as the plucky underdog who is standing up to the establishment. A woman who challenges the “old boy” network and stands up for herself.
But is she a strong female who has upset the status quo or is she using her looks and femininity to simply land herself another man to take care of her and her child? Is that feminism? Or is that just a variation on the old con game that brings men and women together into unhappy relationships? Is it feminism that if you are female, have decent looks, nice boobs, and the willingness to dispense special treats, that you can have a shining career as a real estate agent?
Is that why is she in trouble? Is it because she is “sinning,” or because she is a threat to the females in the neighborhood? Or does she just violate the established order, the way things are done. Or did she just look like an easy victim to make an example out of?
Of course if you take the song in context of the whole album it makes a little more sense. The album is full of pretty dark songs.
The song “No Brass Band,” is about a girl and her father that leave town to find their fortune and the father gets involved in a robbery, gets shot, and comes back home in a pine box in a baggage car. Thus, “No Brass Band at the Station.”
“Widow Jones” is a song about a woman who pushed her husband in the river and now seduces young boys.
“Mr. Harper,” is a bizarre song about a man who is spending his time drinking in a ban. The singer is addressing him and he answers in a strange electronic voice like he was talking over the telephone. 
But now the album is finished and I have lost interest and I'm going to be. A music critic I am not...

You don't Judge me! Modern thought in a nutshell...

I finally got into some good stuff in the last box of country albums. Some George Jones, Jimmy Rodgers, and The Harper Valley P.T.A album by Jeannie C. Riley.
I actually sat down and listened to the title song.
The lady gets in trouble for trolling. Wearing dresses a little short, hanging out in singles bars, and so she is deemed unacceptable to work with children.
Well she comes back with a list of the PTA board's hypocritical actions in sort of a modern interpretation of "let he who is without sin throw the first stone."
However, it comes off in popular culture as 1. You don't judge me... 2. If you are a hypocrite then I can be (fill in the blank with favorite sin) 3. Everyone has a secret sin.
Basically the lesson learned was that other people's sin justifies my own, rather than "we all need God's love and forgiveness," which means we should be kind and supportive and uphold our traditional cultural values of morality and honesty so our kids won't degenerate into little animals screwing and flinging poop at the walls. Oh, wait... that's a description of the 21st century!
I am perhaps a little sensitive as I got into an argument with someone who told me that when she had unfairly labeled a few years ago she became that label.
I asked why? Why would you become what you had been so offended by being falsely accused of? I really didn't get a response.
Sometimes there is no real answer other than, "I was stupid."
Perhaps it would be a good idea to go have a "slut walk," and show solidarity with the poor lady the PTA  victimized! I do love a good slut walk-from the sidelines of course....which kind of puts the joke on the slut walkers, hey... angry or not, we love the half-nekked ladies! Like we listen to them anyway... pretty funny!
 One day it is going to result in one of those lectures that my daughter will look at me with amazement and exclaim, "Where did that come from?"

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Shooting Rats

Here is a link to
I like to shoot rats.
In the old days, before I was a nervous wreck and sat around consuming old number seven and listening to Eddy Arnold on antique stereo equipment I used to enjoy setting out in the barn or chicken house with a flashlight and a .22 and picking off a few rats.
Once I made my own rat trap with a length of old gutter pipe and a 15 gallon steel oil drum. Rats cannot resist an inclined tunnel and will naturally climb it. I have no idea why, perhaps it was the promise of chicken feed at the other end. Strangely enough, they will also jump out of the end of the pipe even though it is quite the drop to the bottom of the barrel.
However, once you have a few rats in a barrel what do you do with them?
As this was 1979 and the world was a much better place to be a kid, I went to BiMart and picked up a few free empty 35mm film canisters, a pound of black powder, and some model rocket engine ignitors. The clerk didn't even blink when I bought them all at once. I packed the film canister with black powder and put the rocket engine ignitor in though a hole in the cap, then wrapped the whole thing with duct tape. It was pretty safe as far as homebuilt bombs go. No sharp chunks of metal to do flying and a wonderful loud explosion and lots and lots of smoke.
I used my electrical control box from my Estes model rocket kit to set off the explosive from a distance and sometimes borrowed my uncle's hard hat just to be safe. Safety is quite important. (irony-it was a home built BOMB!)
In this case I lowered the bomb into barrel of rats, hid behind an old pickup, touched it off. If I remember correctly it somewhat bulged out the drum, some of the rats disappeared, and the neighbor came to see if I was alright.
This means of rat disposal was promptly banned by the powers that were. Namely, my mother.
Being always the amateur scientist I did try to revive the remaining rat. I had recently discovered a trove of cow shocker probe parts and figured that if that rat had died from heart failure, he could be revived. I attached leads to the shocker and to the rat and powered up the shocker. There were twitches but strangely enough the rat did not jump up and thank me for saving his life.
I used that rat trap for a couple months but solved the problem of rat execution by putting a few gallons of water in the bottom of the barrel. Eventually the word got around and my nightly haul of rats dropped considerably and I went back to a flashlight and the twenty-two rifle.
I see my nephew has turned 13 and has been shooting rats with a pellet gun. There is so much information I could pass on to him but I suppose I should not. If I told him I doubt he would believe me anyway, plus, I don't really want a SWAT team at our house.
I wonder what it a takes to license a cannon?

Friday, May 25, 2012

My Samsung Convoy II is a horrible phone

My Convoy I was an awesome phone.
What changed?
They messed with it!
I don't know who "They" are but I would really like to punch them in the nose. Or better yet, make them use the phone they screwed up.
The Convoy has a niche market. People who do not not want complicated phones and people who want a phone they can operate with one hand.
Key words would be "simple, compact, rugged."
All my phone needs to do is:
1. Place and receive calls
2. Get me the weather without going online
3. Not getting on the internet
4. Fairly waterproof
5. Fit in my shirt pocket
6. Not butt dial
7. Be easy to use

The Convoy II pretty well meets the standards of 1, 4, and 5 but then so do any number of other phones.
What really makes me angry is that you can't get the weather within two steps of opening the phone.
In fact opening the phone is where the problems start.
The buttons are flush with the keypad so it is hard to feel them in the dark or when you are slightly damp or have oil on your fingers.
It has a pretty good camera but because the buttons are hard to feel it is easy to erase photos after taking them.
It appears the only way to get the weather is through an app like Weatherbug which requires you to get online which requires you to type with the keypad which is a total joke.
Here is the bottom line.
I could be wrong, this could be a great phone, if I just knew how to use it... But... And this is a big Butt as in pain in the Butt... Cell phones have been designed and sold for a number of years now. Many of the commands are pretty much standard. Why make it needlessly complicated? Why even build a phone that sends text messages when you scratch your bottom? Or has buttons you can't actually feel? Or has internet with a screen and keyboard that can be read only by Lilliputions?
Which brings me to a whole discussion of software upgrades.
Software upgrades never address real problems with the previous edition of the software. Instead they add idiotic look and feel upgrades and addition features that you don't like or need and they screw up some basic service that you came to depend on.
For example, my MacBook continually loses the passwords to frequently joined networks and often won't let you click on "view password." Sure I used that feature to steal people's passwords in the past but if they would not have wanted their password stolen they would not have left the stupid computer signed in permanently...
Or more to the point... The convoy 1 had one annoying feature. Anytime you hit a key on the front panel you got a music program that I never used. However, you could use the camera, get the weather, and send text messages with one hand.
The convoy II replaces the music with a very handy flashlight but then it also butt texts, "I'm in a meeting," as a reply to the last person who texted me. I am thinking there are folks who wonder why I am in so many meetings.
Perhaps I can blame the phone for the various cryptic messages and strange photos I sent to Orin. Honestly, do you really want to spend your data minutes receiving photos of someone running over a Barbra Streisand 8-track tape with a forklift and then setting it on fire?
That is what blogs are for!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I've really messed myself up this time... plus I listen to horrible music

It's been raining.
I have a lot to do.
My helper has been frustrating me.
My arm hurts.
I've already been to the Chiropractor early in the week. That did help but I still don't have the strength to really pull a wrench with my right hand.
My wife told me I was taking her appointment for a massage or else... I did not inquire as to what she meant by "or else," perhaps she mean she would give me cookies. I suppose it could have been a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, most likely it would mean she would be grumpy.
I don't like her to be grumpy. When she is grumpy she notices my stacks of records, reel to reel tapes, 16 mm moves, toy tractors, Marx tin barns, old stereo equipment in various stages of "restoration," Marx Johnny West Cowboys, Nerf arsenal, endless supply of old books, and various old Mac notebooks, eMates, GPS antennas, 45 rpm singles, guns, Erector Sets, toy trains, 30 year-old t-shirts, tinker toys, mini RC helicopters, every toy I owned as a child, and our continual lack of money.
I try to keep her happy...
But, I digress...
I figured the one thing in my life I could change is my arm hurting. My main plan for coping with life and pain is repression. I have been told this is not a good idea.
Anyway, I took her appointment even though I have heard so many jokes about "happy finishes," that it is almost impossible for me to say "I am here for a massage," without feeling like Benny Hill.
My wife's massage therapist is amazing.
I was there for two hours. She only charged me for one. I got the feeling she had never met someone with as tightly knotted muscles as myself. She only worked on my arm and shoulders, I do feel better. She told me I was to take it easy for 24 hours and ice my muscles.
I'm not really supposed to type. Perhaps I'll post pictures instead.
I'm listening to the Rod Stewart Album that looks like a whiskey glass. It is not as good as the cover promises.
I was attempting to listen to more of the four boxes of 1960's country music that I was given. Good grief this stuff is painful to listen to. Now I understand people like Billy Joe Shaver and Johnny Cash.
I think I'm just going to haul it all to Goodwill.
I don't really need six Englebert Humperdink and five Marty Robbins albums when I can't even make it though one of them. And those are the cream of the crop. I'm going to give Eddy Arnold another try but I'm not optimistic.
I wish I had more Ventures albums. They have pretty girls on the cover and THEY DON'T SING! 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I find a Viagra Pen under the seat in my Tractor!

Why is there a Viagra Pen in my tractor and where did it come from? Is someone trying to tell me something?
I was looking for a snickers bar as I forgot my lunch the other day. I usually keep a snickers in the A/C defroster vent. The White tractor has a little door which you can open to blow air on the windshield as a defroster. It is just the right size to fit a candy bar. I wish it were big enough to put a can of pop. There was no candy bar.
However, I did check under the seat and I found one. It was a little white around the edges but I was hungry and I had coffee left with which to wash it down.
I kept thinking of the swimming pool scene from "Caddy Shack."
Anyway...whilst rooting around under the seat I found this pen advertising Viagra. Hope it didn't come from the same fellow who brought me the hot tub.
Ironically, it was missing the ball and wouldn't write.
Also Ironically... If you could read the loup monitor screen it would say, "Should Be Seeding"

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I wish ZetaWoof had comments enabled so I could comment on his Facebook Post!

Instead of writing my own post and then linking to him. So read this and then comeback and look at what I have to say. Or not, whatever...
Of course you do have to take whatever I say with a grain of salt, er about five lbs of salt. I'm setting around as I am setting around eating doughnuts, drinking coffee, and listening to Mel Torme instead of working. Yes you did read that correctly, Mel Torme... It is a long story...

But, I digress...
And now I will say with a perfectly straight face, Facebook is not cool. It is pretty much yesterday. I have no idea exactly what is hip at the present time but I can tell you that anything populated by middle-aged women detailing their every movement is no longer The Cat's Meow. (Nothing personal to you if you happen to fit that profile, you are the exception and your Facebook posts are really insightful and interesting! And I was not accusing Gorgesgrouse of being a middle-aged woman!)
I am on Facebook but I find it very annoying and never post. Of the five or six people I wanted to find when I signed up, I found two.
It is handy in many ways and is probably a useful social media tool. I like to cruise people's profiles looking for embarrassing photos and people revealing personal information that I find amusing but that is typical behavior for someone who sits in his easy chair and is now listening to Burt Bacharach.
You know I do have more to say about Facebook but I just realized that I am insulting a number of people who read this blog and I really don't have that many readers to insult so I think I will go back to sorting another box of records to send to GoodWill.  Anyone like Andy Williams or perhaps need a couple or five big band sing-along albums!
Do I keep albums for the cover even if I never intend to listen to them?
Anyone like Ed Ames?
Anyone want a Numark graphic equalizer? It has glowing lights!
I think I will post on Facebook now!


 Sunday afternoon we waited for the eclipse or rather the dragon eating the sun. It was somewhat of a let down. Clouds appeared. Must mean bad luck of some sort.
Of course it was cloudy...
I tried to take a photo...
I had read that you needed to view the eclipse though "smoked glass" as all my science books are pre 21st pre 20th century. When I explained this at coffee time as we were trying to equate the UV protection of smoked glass to modern tinted welding shields (#16)  Chronic boy thought I meant "smoked grass," and he has stayed "baked" all week. How else would you explain the shop antics this week and the dent in shop pickup?
But now I'm just being mean...
Speaking of mean, look what happens when you apply a force of 360lbs to a Minneapolis-Moline Kneodler tractor seat!

Saturday, May 19, 2012

A sad commentary on the Oregon Board of Education and Bureaucracy in General

So the clever folks who are on the Oregon Board of Education voted to ban school mascots with Indian Native American references.
Click here for Oregon Live story.
This is an idiotic decision for two reasons.
First of all, they are behind the curve and have no clue as to what the local schools are doing.
What the local schools have been doing is making contacts with the local tribes and working with them to create positive images for their Native American Indian mascots.
So of course when progress is being made the higher ups have to assert themselves and shut it all down. Naturally they say it is for the children's sake-(to stop bullying-which is in itself a new buzzword used to oppress the children and exert more control)
The second reason is of course that this whole getting your knickers in a knot about supposed insults and oppression is just an exercise in flexing political muscle.
We have the double standard. The way we pretend things are and they way things really are.
It is hard to believe that Native Americans could be so idiotic or so programed in the concept of victimization as to actually be offended why having school teams named after them. Do they actually not understand that the American Indian is respected around the world as an example of bravery and resistance in the face of overwhelming odds.
It is totally idiotic.
Are teams named the Pancho's and have as their mascot a Mexican sleeping under a tree? Or the Lazy Frenchmen and the mascot runs away? Or what about "Trailer Trash," and the mascot would be a giant Mountain Dew bottle full of Meth mix. Has anyone suggested the mascot to replace the Warrior on the wall of the Amity Gym be replaced with a slot machine?
No, I think not! Now those are racist and offensive. Also, they would not be real inspirational to the teams. The Native American mascots are chosen to inspire teams to win, not to lose.
The third reason is perhaps the most important and the one that is never mentioned.
Native Americans do not realize that they are an inspiration to many average people. You see the Native Americans were "screwed" by the man. The US government put them on the trail of tears, put them in the reservation and violated the treaties.  This is a bit of a simplistic view of course but then again not all Native tribes were all that friendly either.
There comes a time when you have to get over your oppression. I've pretty much got over that whole Norman invasion thing, I am little mad at the Vandals and those pesky Visgoths or wait perhaps I'm related to all of them. Assimilation!!!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Will 10-34 stick to my leather chair?

Had a small fertilizer leak. It was under a little pressure so it was more of a mist.
I came in to have a cup of coffee and to sit quietly in my chair for five minutes. I notice I am sticking to the chair. This was perhaps a mistake.
Rather than get specific about the lack of recent blogging activity....
I could just do a universal bottom feeder farming post.
Things went wrong, things broke, lost a couple custom jobs, more things broke, covered in liquid fertilizer, grumpy, coffee is cold, dog has a limp, a bird pooped on my windshield, air conditioning dumps water on my head every time I hit a bump, rough field....
Now I'm going to plant a crop which will fail and spend money I don't have... Perhaps some bicyclists will go by looking determined couched over their Mr. Garrison inspired bicycles.
Anyone remember the movie "Breaking Away," I'd provide a link buy my five minutes are up. I think I'll go put some ice cubes and brown sugar in the coffee and perhaps some old number 12 and make it an iced coffee.
Have a nice day...

Saturday, May 12, 2012

More about parks in Yamhill County

Here is a link to a list of Yamhill County parks. 
The county has a number of undeveloped parks. I would personally like to seem basic facilities at a couple of them. They look like they would be neat to visit.
The first on one the list is Dayton Landing. I didn't know it was a park. That sounds like a nice place for a picnic. But, who knew it was there?
Powerhouse Park and Juliette Park both look interesting. Plus, they have history with the McMinnville hydroelectric project back when people tried to be self-sufficient. I think I will visit these parks.
So, why not do some simple upgrades to these unimproved parks and see what happens?
I'm sure that if this was suggested the arguments against it would include, vandalism, lack of security, lack of parking, expense of maintaining the park, lack of money in the budget. Neighborhood objections. Pretty much all the reasons we don't want a 90 acre park with over night camping located on our road.
I wonder if developing an interesting feature at each of the undeveloped parks and making a few simple trails would draw in a few visitors who would take more pride in the park or if it would just make it easier for people to go off the road in drink at night. Which seems to be the primary use of parks in Yamhill County at the present time.

In a little side note about the public interest in parks. If you do a search for Yamhill County park you will find posts by The Lazy Farmer.  I've been watching my stats much closer since I posted those blog entries.  Very few of my hits come from those posts. I suspect that there are not a lot of people searching online for info and Yamhill County parks. I don't know what that means statistically but I kind of suspect that people just don't care. If no one is searching online for parks than Ken Huffer is most likely not telling the truth when he states that Landfill Park is needed because people call him all the time looking for hiking trails in Yamhill County.

Oh what a beautiful morning!

It is a beautiful morning I should be at work.
I started, but I got so annoyed I had to come back inside and shout at random anonymous people in the ether...
1. Employees
2. Modern Scholarship
3. Price of Gas
4. Stupid economic ideas

My daughter is working on a science project. She built a shake table and tested various Lego and Lincoln Log designs. That was a lot of fun. But she is a typical modern kid. She thinks shes knows more than she does and then she gets upset when she finds out she doesn't. I don't deal well with gently explaining that you do good work for the sake of doing good work. Because if you throw something together that looks like crap and you don't really try, it reflects on your character. Because if you don't do your best then life is really boring and frustrating?
I don't know... Her mother gave me a whole bunch of advice and then she left. I don't know how to handle this.
The basic problem is that the school did not treat this very seriously. There have been no deadlines for research and no real supervision. I think it is kind of a joke and so does the daughter. It seems like too big of a project not to do a good job on. Of course this is the last minute.

Employees and Gas. I bought gas in December when the price was good. Or at least I think it was my farm. Perhaps it was the main farm. Anyway, I've been rationing it out. Only use it when I really need it and the gas station is closed.  It appears that the employee has been filling up when he comes to work as he didn't work all winter and now is hopelessly behind in his rent and child support.
Today my wife ran out of gas and the local station was closed.
I have refused to buy gas as I want to know just how much is being used and where it is being used. Filling stuff with a five gallon gas can makes you thing twice about how much you are using. Also, I'm broke. (Not only did I buy two forklifts but I will now have to spend more an a transmission for the stacker than I spent on the two forklifts!)
So... I ran around the farm looking for five gallon cans of gas. The spare can in my pickup was empty of course. Employee got to that last week, plus I gave him ten dollars for gas to get home last night. (and a lecture)
The tank of gas my brother had in his pickup was pumping air.
So... We poured the last two inches out of the can and the wife headed off for Monroe or Junction City. Hope there is a gas station open on the way. Good thing I paid the AAA bill. Wonder if she is going to see Orin. Probably something I should have found out about. Perhaps she is going to buy me one of his combines for Father's day...

Now here is what really irritates me...
The price of gas is high for the same reason the price of scrap metal is high. Gas and scrap metal are real products like gold and timber and hay. The clever folks that run things are printing so many dollars that we have serious inflation or currency devaluation or whatever they are not calling it these days.  There are other reasons gas is high, but I think the above mentioned reason is pretty important.
We can buy really cheap LCD televisions and other worthless crap at Wallmart because it is mass produced by slave labor with cheap materials. Look at anything made sturdy or by hand. It is expensive.

This BS about being an information processing society is crap. Just like the idea that Landfill park will boost the local economy with tourist dollars. Tourists come into your local community, annoy the locals, interfere with local industry, buy cheap stuff from stores owned by people who are not local,
 CRAP, and leave. The local 7-11 does not do a lot for the local economy other than provide an income for people picking up beer cans alongside the road.
Our national economy will not improve when nothing is made in our country, nothing is grown in our country, no natural resources are extracted, and we spend all our time "processing information." As in banking and litigation and screwing the dog?
The tree grows, the faller cuts it, the logger hauls it, the mill processes it, someone builds something out of it. But that only works if the money stays in local circulation. AND I would suppose that will never happen again.
So, we will have high gas prices, high taxes, lots of regulation, lots of handouts to people who will come to expect it, more handouts to keep certain key business from failing (hopefully farmers will be included) and we will print more money...

Yeah, I really feel like going to work today. Burn some more $4.10 gas and $4.35 diesel to raise a crop that most likely will fail due to how late I am planting it.

Perhaps some bicyclists will come by. It is Saturday morning and some folks have time to go fishing or ride their bicycles on Saturday morning... Bicyclists always cheer me up. I always think of Mr. Garrison's bicycle when I see them and it makes me laugh...

Thursday, May 10, 2012

My Civil Disobedience (Lite Version)

I done showed em yesterday! I loaded up two dogs in my pickup when I went to get my daughter and I parked right by the sign. It turned out that my daughter had a meeting for the school yearbook after class and so I needed to go into the school with her and find out the new time to pick her up and talk to her teacher about a science project.
I didn't sign in at the office!
Oh boy, I'm a rule breaker now!
However, while I was setting in my truck I got to thinking about the sign and the rules. I don't think they really were talking about what you had in your truck. Instead it is what you do on the play ground. I wonder if at some school somewhere someone brought their dog to the playground. A dog armed with a gun, smoking a cigarette, chewing tobacco, drinking Bud Lite, and shooting off bottle rockets. It is lucky people are not offending by cussin' anymore. Cause that would be on the sign as well. Obviously no children stuck their heads in five gallon buckets and drowned as that would be on the sign also. Perhaps I should propose that addition. It could happen and it would be a liability for the school district I am sure.
My act of protest is shown below! Guess how many rules I was breaking!
(Ok, yes i am the person who leaves those rainbow stains in the parking lot when I deliver my child in the rain. But the parking lot is made out of tar and tar is oil and so a little more oil on top is just preserving the parking lot. Adding to the layers. That stuff ain't cheap! I didn't mean to give it away!)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

There are a lot of rules in Elementary School! Somehow this sign seems downright Un-American!

I guess it is just a sad commentary on the bunch of weenies we have become. Fireworks and firearms were once a way of life and there are still folks with missing fingers to show you just how short is too short when cutting a fuze for a home brewed fireworks display.
This was actually a good thing as instead of make the inadvertent amputee a victim or a felon, you made him an example of what would happen if you got a little careless with a little black powder and some match heads!

Anyway, look at the sign and then look at the pickup I drive. Does this truck look like the owner is not violating at least three of the five rules?

Perhaps tomorrow I should bring Stanley along!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Reason # 22 why I don't want Yamhill County to build a park on my road, The antenna I use for FarmerGPS, and I make an omelette out of a really big egg!

We like to do things which are unsafe and would possibly invite unwanted attention on Sunday afternoons.
My daughter got a kit to build things out of cardboard boxes. It has funny little plastic rivet things and you punch holes in boxes and then push the rivets through.
I may not get the lawn mowed or the window fixed in my wife's truck but when it comes to building forts out of cardboard we get stuff done!
The box of puny rivets and little cardboard boxes were cast by the wayside! Lulu and I found the pile of BIG cardboard boxes that I get my grain screenings in and we now have a forklift!
In about an hour we had built a pallet stand out of scrap lumber and old pallets. The clever part of this whole scheme is that the pallet under the top box has a hole in the middle of it. This hole is so that you can take a really huge bag of grain on the pallet and still get at the pouring spout on the bottom of the bag. This way you can unload a bag with a tractor that doesn't life high enough to put the forks through the bag handles.
In this incarnation it is how you get into the second story of the rickety fort.
It is not really all that safe.
The cousins were banned from it.
I think the concept and process of making the fort was more fun for the daughter than actually playing in the fort. She was jumping on the trampoline with her cousins most of the time.
I made her measure and mark all the boards while I ran the chainsaw. I also made her run the hammer as I have a sore arm.

And now in answer to a number of search inquiries.
Here is a picture of me using FarmerGPS in the rain.

To answer the search that got you too this blog... Yes, you can use many different GPS antenna's with FarmerGPS. I am using an old Raven Invicta 210. I also have a Garmin 18 USB antenna that I got on ebay. FamerGPS is set up to use a serial to USB converter but I found I can use a program called Spanner to make a virtual serial port so that a direct USB connection will be recognized.
You cannot use the GPS antenna that comes with Windows Streets and Trips. Do not buy Streets and Trips as a GPS route finder to find directions to the fields you are going to plant. It is a horrible program. It is cheaper and better just to get one of those TomTom stand alone GPS navigators.
The Garmin 18 is good enough for finding field sizes or spreading fertilizer but not good enough for strip-tilling or planting. In my opinion...
The better the antenna the better the program will work.
If you look at the photo you will see I am using a tablet PC. It is attached to the dash of the White 2-155 with bungee cords. It is sometimes a problem if I climb a steep hill or hit a really big bump. Yes, I do need to make a better mount.

In other news... I have been making omelettes again. My daughter and I were home alone and discovered we were quite hungry. Upon examination of the clock on the wall we discovered it was in fact lunch time. A quick perusal of the pantry turned up nothing but Top Ramen and Clam Chowder. Then we discovered that a tray of possible meal choices had actually been left on the table for us!
So we made an omelette. You can't do that without breaking a few eggs I have heard.
This was one really big egg. It came from a fellow who gets chicken feed from me. It was a double yolk! One of the eggs was a little older than the rest. You couldn't actually see the baby chicken so I don't think we can qualify as a third trimester Sandra Fluke sort of testimony and get insurance to pay for the egg.
I didn't point any of this out to the daughter I just worked the whisk a little faster and dumped some milk in to cover up the eyeballs. It was a good omelette. I put mushrooms and pepperjack cheese in the middle. You couldn't tell a thing!

I suppose comments of the sort I just made will destroy all my credibility when protesting Landfill Park. But only 35 people a day read this blog and none of them found it by doing searches for Yamhill County Planning Commission, or Whiteson Dump, or Parks in Yamhill County, or hiking trails in Yamhill County, or Riverbend Landfill, or Monroe Landing, so who really cares.
Got to work on those t-shirt slogans!
A protest in my own mind!
How do you spell omelette?
I tried looking it up and it shows omelette but blogger says it is spelled incorrectly and I went to Amity to school so I really don't know much of anything!

UPDATE: Here is a link to a blog called "Chicken Feet for the Soul," wish he would update more.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I have been ranting about Yamhill County and Landfill Park for two days in a row!

And there have been almost no hits from anyone but regular followers.
The top google searches resulting in hits to the Lazy Farmer are:
1. New Ag Talk
2. NewAgTalk- I think NAT is fine. I am not really boycotting it, I just don't have time to comment on every short pant's farmer and his identical tillage program powered by John Deere. Sure that is a blanket statement but I am a grouch. Sue me...
3. Back Neck Tattoos - What is up with that? Perhaps someone is interesting in my universal tattoo program. One tattoo in either Gothic or Script, "Dumbass!" It would be less expensive and more to the point!
4. Hesston Pittman bearing puller- OK, you are not going to find that info here...
5. Build your own tractor splitting stand- No I didn't do it. I only have two of the rollers.
6. Build your own metal detector?
7. Dual 1019, Ok I did talk about that...
8. Can cows Walk down stairs? Yes, with the proper encouragement. Saying that they can't is not the same as saying that they really, really, don't want to.
9. Big Old Tree, I don't even know...
10. Will James, That post was a long time ago and I should post a link to it but I am lazy... Hence the name, "The Lazy Farmer..."
11. The Blue Goat - I should get a free Goat Burger for all the publicity I've given them!

In conclusion...
People in Yamhill County really don't give a rip about parks. They either know were they all are, they don't go to parks, or they just flat don't care about them.
There are really not that many searches for Whiteson or Riverbend Landfill or Monroe landing. Either that or my blog titles are just not exciting enough to bring people in.
I suppose that is the reason Yamhill County will site a nature park next to a stinky landfill and then pat themselves on the back for being concerned about the public good...

Have a nice day... And please don't ride your #$%^&*(&% bicycle past my house, go ride in Ken Huffer's backyard.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

"I didn't Inhale," Slogans for Ken Huffer's Landfill Park in Yamhill County

"It's for the common good," "Anyone on that road who would have come out in favor of the park would have been ostracized," "There are no statistics showing an increase in crime around parks in Yamhill County," "Yamhill County Police response time is not our problem," "The dump is not our problem," "Traffic and crime problems can be solved through the condition use process," "Smell? What smell?"
Ok, I see the writing on the wall. I don't want to be an obstructionist. I'm going to apply for a permit to open a Kiosk in front of my house to sell t-shirts, beer, starting fluid, battery acid, and little clothespin things for your nose.
I am sure Yamhill County will give me the permit, after all... "It's for the common good!"
I've got great ideas for slogans,
Landfill Park, it looks better than it smells!
I Huffed at Landfill park-methane gives a better buzz!
Or perhaps a t-shirt that says "I- (picture of Ken Huffer with the barn coming out of his head) Landfill Park. (Get it, "Huffer... Huffing... drugs, methane, smelly gas? Get it?)
Arsenic makes me happy! Have a drink at Landfill Park.
Or- Yamhill Country, We recycled a landfill! Whoop! Whoop!
Don't inhale? Hike Landfill Park- Yamhill County, Oregon
or perhaps a public service campaign for people with chronic flatulence.
-Lady is standing next to her husband, you hear a farting noise, she says, "Oh dear me, I think I tooted," Husband say, "Oh no honey, it was just the park!"
Voice over says, "Beat the high price of gas this summer and vacation at Landfill Park, if you toot, no one will notice..."

Advertising slogans, "Lick the three headed frog at Yamhill County's Landfill Park."
Or, "I touched the caustic slime at Landfill Park."
Or, "Smell the country! And all the towns in between! at Land fill Park!
Or, Visit Landfill Park in Yamhill County, Our S--t doesn't stink! (According to the Parks Department)
Or Jump the Fence at Landfill Park-and glow for a week!

Just a few ideas off the top of my head...

And one really offensive slogan,
Who cares about dead Indians when they don't own a casino! Camp on a burial ground at Landfield park!

Oh, and what about, "Visit Landfill Park, Superfund Runner up in 1981!"

Have a nice day! Be sure and give me the finger when I'm taking up two lanes of the highway when you are driving to the casino today!

Update: I just thought of another benefit of camping at Landfill Park (Near Whiteson in Yamhill County). You don't have to pick up your litter!  It's a DUMP!

Yamhill County wants to build a park because they want to build legacy, bad smells and grumpy neighbors be damned!

The Head of the Yamhill County Parks Department wants to go places in life. He needs to justify his job and he needs to build a resume.
He says Yamhill County needs more trails and campsites and there are 90 acres that Yamhill County owns which are just sitting there doing nothing. Well, much of it is being leased for farming, but that is not a huge income.
The vehement opposition of residents surrounding the proposed park means very little to the Parks department or the parks board. The issue of a huge landfill across the river, which smells very bad in the summer, is not an issue either.
What matters is following through with their proposal and essentially, winning their argument.
It is fascinating to watch the process in action. The issues that we argue about are essentially meaningless. Traffic and crime are items on a graph or report to those who do government planning. They are issues to be addressed by regulations and conditional uses restrictions by the Yamhill County Planning Commission.
No one in Yamhill Government will discuss the old landfill as the landfill has already been closed and has regulated through DEQ and I suspect that as long as their approved long range plan is followed, liability is limited.
They will not acknowledge the stink of the Waste Management site across the river. They claim that it will have no impact.
This denial will work as there is no accountability. Ken Huffer, Head of the Parks department, will be long gone to bigger and better things before anyone in government discovers that the sort of people who want to camp and walk nature trails are also the sort of people who object to a mountain of garbage.
Ken will have his legacy park on his resume, the Parks Board will have done their civic duty by building a park over the objections of a bunch of "selfish farmers," and the local meth heads and kids will have a place to party that is closer than Deer Creek park.
So really, it is a win-win situation for everyone but the neighbors.
And that is the definition of "for the public good..."

(It is pretty funny that Yamhill County may one day be known for Landfill Park, the park that stinks. But, I suppose that will be called a positive as in some sort of green recycling project and everyone but the people who smell it will think it is all a great idea...)

Friday, May 4, 2012

Yamhill County Wants to Build A Park Next to a very Smelly Dump

This is a bit of a rant about a park and a dump and how the idea of building an amazing park with nature trails and clever interpretive kiosks and possible camping completely overshadows the basic fact that the location stinks. I mean that literally.
It will be kind of funny as the people who want to get in touch with nature are the very same people who will be totally offended by the sight and smell of a huge mound of garbage and so I really kind of hate to object. I think huge government failures are pretty amusing, in a bitter ironic way.
The point of this post is that I went to a Yamhill Planning commission meeting last night. It was an amazing example of democracy in action.
It was amazing and depressing all at the same time.
The Yamhill County Parks Commission (or what ever it is called) wants to put in a park.
I really hate to be against parks. In fact if it were 30 years ago and I had not seen the de-evolution of local culture or I had not had to put up with the litter and crime associated with parks near places I farm, (Deer Creek Park, The park on Mill Creek next to Harmony Road and Hwy 18, the unofficial and illegal park at the former Green Bridge, old park at the dump known as Monroe Landing,) I would be in favor of the park. It is kind of a neat design.
However... (Rant follows-there are no pictures-just another one of my painfully long monologues)
Some years ago the country purchased property for a buffer zone around the old landfill on our side of the river. This was due to several lawsuits and problems with the old landfill and the neighbors.
But the memory of a bureaucracy is not much longer than the retirement age of the involved  minor officials and so all the controversy surrounding those events of 30 years ago has been forgotten.
So when the new Parks Commission figured out these 90 some acres that were being leased to a neighboring farmer they only saw space for the future crown jewel of the Yamhill County Parks department.
They have an official planner and there are people with degrees in such things and there are local people that are on the Parks Commission and they all need to feel useful and important.
They mostly talk to each other and go to seminars and tell each other how smart they are and how important their jobs are and how the peasants need parks and how parks will bring jobs and sustainability and whatever current buzzwords they have just learned in whatever wonderful self congratulating seminars they have just attended.
It would appear that no one really thought about what would really happen if you situated a park next to a smelly landfill. No one actually visited the proposed site often enough to smell the landfill. No one actually talked to any of the residents before picking a site.
The one commission member who testified told us with a straight face that Sheriff’s Department response time, the smell of the landfill, what was buried in the landfill, and why a buffer zone was purchased, was not really what the Parks Commission took into account when the site was chosen.
In fact, we should accept all inconveniences for the “public good” and that no one really liked having a park on their road and all crime and traffic problems were offset by the good experiences had by people from outside our community who would enjoy the park.
It was obvious that they did not see a connection between crime and traffic problems and a neighborhood reluctance to see a park built.
Instead all the protests from neighbors were categorized as a “Not in my Backyard” response and fall under the age old category of “you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs,” concept of government steamrolling the individual.
That is the sort of bureaucratic thought that causes me to say, “screw the public good, build it next to your house you arrogant SOB…" but I didn't...
But all talk of traffic problems, security issues, and "Not in my Back Yard" issues aside, the self important maroons on the Yamhill County Parks Commission are proposing the building of a park with nature trails next to a giant stinking pile of garbage. A pile of garbage that catches on fire from time to time. A pile of garbage that emits random explosions from time to time.
A nature park, that when the future plans for camping spaces are phased in, will provide campers with the roar of giant bulldozers and incessant beeping of backup alarms. (Well, not during the weekends. Of course the 200 cars a day going past my house on Sunday-the one day a week I take off work, is for the greater good and I should just smile and say “thank you may I have another.”)
Where is the sense of perspective?
I really couldn’t read the opinions of the Planning Commission members. They seemed a bit amazed at the strength of the opposition. One would hope that they would be more in tune with rural fears and values.
I personally feel somewhat uncomfortable with opposing this park. It sounds like a good idea in many ways. However, I had to remind myself of a couple truths I’ve found over the years. 1. It will not work out like they say 2. It will be much bigger than they claim. 3. It will be painful in the long run.
Of course the bottom line is, Yamhill county has 90 acres just sitting there. They have to do something with it.  The head of the parks department wants to make a park to build his resume.
All this talk of the public good is just a rationalization to give the him and the parks commission self worth and job satisfaction.
I don’t want a park on my road because I don’t want a lot of environmentalist city folk driving past my place, imagining that I am spraying toxic chemicals, blocking me driving my wide farm equipment down the highway on the weekend, and annoying me in my yards as my house is 20 feet from the road.
Then when they discover the park stinks and quit going, the drinkers and drug users will move in cause they don’t care that it stinks and we will have to lock everything up.
The parks department and the parks commission will take absolutely no responsibility after the fact. Their goal is to build a “legacy” park.
That is the bottom line…

Thursday, May 3, 2012

I acutally worked

I actually planted some 45 acres yesterday. It was a pretty good day considering I didn't get a very early start.
When I arrived at the field the farmer had left for more oat seed but he had in fact filled my drill for me. It was still a little wet and soon got a lot wetter. It poured on me. It was a long drive home so I took my fishing pole down to his creek and lost my Mepps # 5 spinner. I am a terribly bad fisherman.
I retreated back to my drill and started greasing and oil chains and otherwise fooling around.
Then the farmer's daughter brought me cookies and I of course pretended to think she was 22 instead of 26. I have often resorted to flattery to continue my supply of cookies. They were good cookies. They were chocolate cookies. They went good with coffee.
Then I got the genius idea to go look at the field.
The field was less than a mile down the road. It didn't rain there.
So away I went.
I finished in the pouring rain at 9:30 at night.
I love my FarmerGPS program.
You get free upgrades after buying the program.
The latest version gives you a 3-D view like you are driving a video game and it lets you measure fields by clicking and dragging the pointer pen on the screen. (If only it had auto-steer.)
It was raining so hard and there was so much mud and it was dark and I finished the field driving by instruments. I hope on the last pass I did not offset the drill 12 feet and leave a 2 foot unplanted strip a half mile long due to GPS drift.
Without the GPS I would have been completely blind. Of course my foam marker was not working properly. They never work properly for more than a half hour.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Hollywood screws up a perfectly good story-again

I've always been interested in WWII history. I was excited to hear there was a movie about the Tuskegee airmen. I must admit I found by accident whilst wandering around the internet. I am pretty much out of touch with current Pop Culture.
Of course George Lucas totally screwed with history and he is proud of it.
To quote from Lucas in the Huffington Post,
"They have a right to have their history just like anybody else does," Lucas said. "And they have a right to have it kind of Hollywood-ized and aggrandized and made corny and wonderful just like anybody else does. Even if that's not the fashion right now."
How incredibly condescending and wrong! It is actually a racist view in my opinion. What Lucas is essentially saying is that the Tuskegee airmen didn't accomplish anything "movie-worthy" on their own.
So, essentially he is creating a legend by repeating some nine documented historical errors as the truth.
Of course the activists, steeped in the culture of victimization, promoted the film like crazy, and made another Hollywood arsehole even richer!
To add insult to injury the movie was filmed in the Czech Republic with somewhat low production values, as in a low cost movie cranked out to make a buck on the race card.
Why not an Historically Accurate movie about the Black Airmen which shows their struggle to not only achieve combat status but also their contribution to the war effort? It doesn't matter if they did or did not sink a destroyer, if they never lost a bomber or if they lost 25, their contribution was heroic and they should be role models for any person facing adversity.
Of course they were treated shamefully by the Government. The exploits of the airmen were used cynically for propaganda purposes to recruit more Blacks which were then used mostly for menial tasks, ditch digging, graves detail, quartermaster corps, and when those soldiers came home they were not given the respect they deserved. Perhaps that would be a good story to tell...
I'd still like to see the move but I suppose it would annoy me so much I would be unable to enjoy the flying scenes.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Forklifts, Snakes, No-till

How did I ever live without a forklift?
Forklifts are pretty cool!
I attempted to put the boy's 4wheeler in the Walnut tree but it started to slip. They sure came out of the house in a hurry.
I was also able to move lots of really heavy objects.

I now have two forklifts that work. The fellow I bought the small forklift from has been working on it. He was quite concerned that it was not working properly.  They came out and worked on it quite a bit on Sunday. I watched them for a while. The engine seemed to be out of time.
Yesterday morning I checked the timing by taking out the number one cylinder plug and putting my finger over the hole. Then I cranked the engine. When it blew my finger off the hole I checked the number one spark plug wire at the distributor. It was 180 degrees off. I twisted the distributor to line up the rotor and the cap and put it all back together.
It fired right off and ran very well.
I was going to call the fellow and tell him I got it started but then I got busy and forgot.
Later I saw him working on it.
He asked me if I got it started. I just told him it started up when I got the battery charged. I didn't see the point in telling him it was 180 degrees off after he had worked so hard on it.

I am rained out on the planting. Went to plant yesterday morning but my customer thought the ground was a little sticky. I worked on the drill for a couple hours. He thought the ground was still too sticky. Then it rained.
I think I would have just got it done.

I came home and my helper came to work, had coffee time, and went home. He texted me for a suggestion of jobs to do. I replied that he could 1. Put the hoses on the sprayer, 2. Get the silage chopper in the barn and check it out, 3. Work on a forklift, Or just go home... He went home.
He didn't tell me he was not done spreading fertilizer.
It is kind of funny.

Saturday I found this gopher snake in the field when I was planting. He was really angry. He hissed and rattled his tale like a rattlesnake. I looked around for an apple but didn't see any. Later I discovered I was naked but I don't think it was the snakes fault.
Now if only I had an excavator.
Or perhaps I would compromise by finding a Dragline or one of those really old steamshovel (you have to read that link!)  type excavators with cables and clutches. That would be more my style.

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