The Useful Duck!

Contribute to my Vacation, please...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

What farm shops used to look like, what is in our water, a guy attempts to rob a porn shop with a fake bomb and fails... Any Christmas ideas for beer hobbyists?

The MMG1355 is starting to take shape.
There are a couple problems.
1. I slid the main PTO shaft all the way forward and there is an inch of room between the spacer plug and the snap ring groove. In fact, you can push the spacer plug past the o-ring. I do not see how this is possible. Unless someone forgot to install the flywheel. (Weighs 150lbs, is big and round, don't see it sitting in a corner of the shop...)
2. During installation of the engine, someone let the engine down on the oil cooler lines and smooshed them all...
3. We installed the engine out of a 2-150 White a couple years ago. It has a different oil pump which does not have the hydraulic charge pump on the engine. So, we ran a line from the case drain on the hydraulic pump to the oil cooler. Now we are going back to the Moline/G1355 set up and I have to figure out how to change it back. I can't remember.
4. I modified the a/c to put the condenser in front of the radiator. It was too small. I need one the correct size. I'm to cheap to just order the right sized on from Harold Electric.

No Corn photos...

Here is a photo showing why our coffee tastes different than other people's coffee.

I put a beaker of water on the woodstove for a day. I think next time I will weigh it first. Wonder why the residue glows in the dark? I need a test kit...

And... This guy is going around pretending to be a human bomb and robbing convenience stores. The porno shop gal was way to clever for him. She told him to get lost! You would meet some freaky interesting  people if you were a clerk at a porno store...
Also, am I the only one who still finds humor that the old Crab Bowl restaurant is now a Fantasy Video store? Ok, now I am officially weird, that was like 30 years ago... Don't get off the farm much...

Not getting off the farm much brings up another point. We are taking another epic and low budget vacation. I say "another" because we did it once before. A decade ago we took a 1970 Chevy 4wd and an equally ancient Aloha trailer and a three year old on a 6,000 mile ramble across the USA. We even camped in Collieguy's pasture!
This time we are flying to Florida. Not the tourist part of Florida. Nope, the Northern Panhandle, followed by a week on the Redneck Riviera, and perhaps a trip to Cape Canaveral to see MuddyValley's contribution to the space program.
Since we are limited on funding, it should be interesting. You all may not understand our vacations... Cheap... We were going to buy a $30 tent on Amazon and have it drop shipped but it is starting to look like it will be colder than expected. Might have to move up to one of those Yurts in the National Parks. The question is... do I take the MacBook and blog? Should I buy a cheaper book on ebay? A tablet?
The other question is... If we run out of money are are stranded at Mexico Beach is there anyone who knows where the Holiday Soup kitchens are? A list of charities? Youth Hostels?

I am trying to figure out a present for someone obsessed with craft brewing. I was going to get him 50lbs of malted barley and a bag of hops. That is not working at planned. Could get him a ton easier than 50lbs.
I tried this link for advice. This is a totally pathetic list of gift suggestions. I could write this crap and it would at least be funny...
Perhaps I'll just buy him this  on amazon about 20 times Click-There Stands the Glass. Or a Legendary Stardust Cowboy collection, No, don't want to get him on the Hard Stuff...

Monday, November 25, 2013

I hate Apple Computers

I hate Windows more...
But I was once a die-hard Apple fan.
Oh for the days of the Commodore 64... Or when Apple sort of cared about its customer base...
My wife has an iPad first generation.
The Apple "i" concept is based on the idea that you want to sy
nc stuff to a main computer. If there are more people with one main computer then you have different accounts. This is a stupid idea.
The iPad is a fine stand alone computer. There is no reason to ever hook it up to a main computer for backup.
So.... Now that iOS 5.1 is the last version that will work with the iPad I and now that Safari won't load webpages and I can't update it... I suppose it is time for a Kindle? A Windows Surface? I may be over-ruled in end but I do not want to buy another iPad!

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Leggo of my lego

My daughter has about one year or two years left playing legos with me. She is interested in creating and building and likes architecture. She makes plans for lego houses on graph paper. That sort of thing.
I'd like to find her either a really epic lego house or perhaps the architecture set, or one of those technical sets with gears and a remote control. Or perhaps the "mind-storms" system where you can program with a computer.
But... It is all so @#$%^&*( expensive. I've been unable to find any of this stuff used.
Those big buildings or complicated bulldozer sets are like a really huge multi-demensional puzzle and you do learn how gears work.
I have spent hours attempting to build a two speed transmission out of legos or complicated winch systems. I realize the daughter is more interested in houses than mechanics.
They even have a Frank Lloyd Wright house.
Perhaps I will just dig out the Lincoln Logs and paint them white. Perhaps she will not notice.
Or better yet, go back to implanting false memories, "But honey, we got you that for your fifth birthday but you left it out in the rain and it was stolen by trolls. Don't you remember?"
Like the birthday party with the clown and the elephant... ah yes....

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

A full night's sleep?

So I went to the chiropractor yesterday...
I pretty much killed the whole day yesterday!
My wife's car has a funny vibration and the tires are noisy. So I took it in to see what was up. I has a bad rear strut and this has resulted in a funny scalloped wear pattern on the tires.
Now it is not so bad you can't drive it but you can't wear out a car that you can't afford to replace.
So between the strut repair and two new tires and wheel alignment we are looking at $900.
What do you do?
I could replace the struts I suppose but I would take two weeks and screw something up. If it were my Studebaker cruiser I would just drive it until the wheel fell off or the battery went dead and I didn't get around to starting it for a year and a half-oh wait... that already has happened. Well, the wheel didn't fall off yet...
But it is my wife's car, given to us by her father, and so it falls into a different category.
So I figured I would go to the chiropractor and see if my luck would change.
I had already been to the guitar store to buy some super slinky guitar strings for my daughter's hand-me-down electric guitar that she says she want's to play but doesn't. I had quite the discussion on motivating beginners with the shop owner. And I mentioned that I needed one of those little knobby shiny things that you hook the strap onto. He rummaged in a box and found exactly what I needed.
We discussed the guitar.
It is a Teisco E100 that my brother bought when there was an electronics store in Amity. Next to the J & J drive in. I may have stolen it from him but I can't remember.
Which brings up an interesting story. My other brother saw the former owner of the J&J who was talking about a high school kid who liked to park his car in the way at the drive-in. The owner asked him a couple times to move it and when the kid protested the owner got out his old Ford pickup, which had a large plank for a front bumper, and he pushed the kid's car out of the way! Ah, yes, the good ole days in Amity... No police department!
But, I digress...
I spent $13 bucks on guitar supplies that I could have purchased on Amazon for $5.50 and got a free guitar pick, but I wanted to "shop local."
So I'm setting on the chiropractor couch thingy and jiggling. I'm feeling the tension. $900 buck to work on the car, plus that $13 for guitar strings and a little shiny knob that I know I could have made from flat washers and a drywall screw... and I look at the receipt. The guitar guy charged me $5 for a stupid knob!
I jiggle some more.
The Chiropractor's nice wife asks me if I am cold. Somewhat puzzled, I answer, "no."
I realize I am setting straight up, hugging myself, and jiggling.
Hmmm. "Not cold, just going insane, no problem, I'm fine...."
Pretty funny, so now I'm setting straight up, hugging myself, jiggling, and giggling.
I am so happy I was in a Chiropractor's office instead of a mental health facility!
So... it turns out it has been over a year since I last ran out of money and declared myself cured and I had to go though a whole series of tests and questions.
When does it hurt, where, why, how, and so on.
My back hurts and I get very stiff when I sit or lay down for long periods of time, it feels better when I get up and exercise. The Chiro gets kind of a grin and points out the irony of this when viewed in light of my determined efforts to avoid work at all costs.
Ho, ho, ho! said I, getting into the Christmas spirit a little early this year!
Anyway... He did the adjustments... I went home and worked on the G1355, had a nice dinner, sat in front of the woodstove.
Later I attempted to listen to the trove of Beach Boys albums I recently acquired which were just a bit more scratched than I expected and I realized that most of the Beach Boys material really sucks. Especially when Mike Love decided he was an "artist."
I went to bed.
This morning I woke up late and realized my back was not all that sore and I could actually get out of bed without leveraging my legs to the floor and propping myself up. AND I have mostly been sleeping instead of rolling from side to side and imagining I was being chased.
I'm still not getting to work early... I was almost out the door and got a hankering for steak and eggs and I came back in. The sun is shining and my brother is gone and the "little" helper has texted in that he is doing something important and I have to take the car into town to get the struts repaired. I am not setting in that waiting room for three hours. Perhaps I shall walk somewhere... If only my bicycle would fit in the back seat...
Blah, blah, blah...
Does anyone actually read all the way to the bottom of these posts?

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Out with a bang and the real reason for the Butterball Turkey hunger strike

Smokin' in the boy's room?
(Click Here...) Why you shouldn't smoke in the restroom.

Why there is a market for porn... I found this site after being encouraged to spread rumors linking GMO corn to the ButterBall turkey Hunger Strike...
Click here for a link to pretentiousness.  I once had a friend who worked in a ladies underwear store. Once I went in and asked the other sales girl to help me find some nice silky sleepwear for my "Aunt" who was about my size. Much hilarity ensued... But, while we were discussing the subject I brought up the question as to who exactly wears this stuff. The response was, "people who probably shouldn't."
But then the manager appeared and I had to leave.
But, I digress...
I was wondering how to start a chain email rumor that GMO feed is behind the ButterBall Turkey hunger strike but I think someone beat me to it!
Get Involved with stupid causes! CLICK HERE!
Anyway, after reading about ButterBall Turkeys I have decided it is really a hunger strike. They have gained amazing superpowers from all the chemicals they have ingested and also from the radioactive spider that got loose after the nuclear meltdown in Japan and have formed the ButterBall Turkey Political Action Committee, BBTPAC, otherwise know as ButtPac, and are going on a hunger strike to raise awareness that Turkeys are being persecuted on Thanksgiving day because they are not allowed to get married in Wyoming.
"I will not give up my life so that a middle aged, White Male, conservative, christian, homophobe, can sit on the couch and watch old SouthPark videos it a little window on his MacBook Pro while pretending to watch Dr. Who, on Thanksgiving day, which is really Indian Casino and racist mascot oppression day, and I'm so angry I'm going to... oh look it is raining, I think I'll stare up at the sky with my mouth open.."
Said Turkey # 14445356990, official spokes-turkey for BUTTPAC...
ANd now some music to sooth your soul...

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Hanging on to your sanity

My dad is not going into oblivion without a fight.
He is 94 and still goes to work most days.
He sits in his office and does "stuff" with salesbooks and endless charts of numbers on white copy paper.
We have been trying to figure out what goes on in his mind. He can't explain it but he wants "something."
He emerges at coffee time (10 a.m and 3 p.m.) and usually doesn't say much. But he follows the conversation and contributes when necessary.
Yesterday he asked me for help.
He has been counting.
He made a grid on plain white paper.
He started numbering in the first column 21-30, the next column was 1-10, the next was 31-30.
He was stuck on what comes after 35.
Also, would the square at the bottom be 40?
If so, then would the top of the next column be 41 or 51? And how do you write 51?
It took some deciphering to figure out the simple pattern. The column of 1-10 seemed to be out of order but I think he just started to far from the edge of the paper and went from right to left instead of left to right.
He seems to have a plan to count by "10's" using this grid.  I think there is more to the grid than what we understand. Perhaps some pre-calculator multiplication trick.
Anyway, I got him on the right track.
Several farmers appeared and I stuck around the store.
One is the last of three brothers and I very rarely see him. I didn't really get any good stories but he wanted to talk about my no-till project for his nephew which worked quite well. We also talked about his neighbor rebuilding a bridge. He helped the fellow's father build the bridge and they thought it was going to last forever. I suppose the 21st century seemed pretty far away in 1950 or 1960.
Dad appeared again. He had forgotten what came after 56. We went over the grid again.
I went back to work.
Near dusk, another neighbor appeared and wanted advice on a rotating goose scarecrow in the shape of a giant eagle.
Dad needed to know what came after 99. He had made a new chart.
Then the owner of the local truck shop appeared.
He thinks we should buy a mid 1970's kenworth with an 8V71 Detroit, 250" wheelbase, 13speed, Eaton two speed rear axles, walking beam suspension, new tires and good paint.
I have no idea what many of those words mean. I just smiled and nodded.
Dad appeared, "What comes after 110 and how do you write it."
And so it goes...
I went out and stared at the G1355 for a while.
I'm starting to see a pattern.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Mud... And, things we do to avoid getting a real job...

Making feed is a stupid thing for me to do...

I bought a straw chopper to pre-chop the hay before it goes into the mixer-grinder. This way I don't have to feed individual flakes by hand.
Speaking of feeding individual flakes by hand... Click here to read about atheists with their feelings hurt.
And tell me is this any different from any other marriage? Well, literal vs pure philosophical, I guess...(Groom Blindfolded-get it?)
We were watching KPTV channel 12 this morning and they were bragging about their up to date news. This is pretty hilarious. They get their national news from the Google startup page, only like three days later and with about half the information. If they can do it, I can do it!
The lazyfarmer news!!!
News Break! The Chicken Crossed the Road!!!!!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A question:

My brother is off driving truck...
I could
1. Continue to set in my easy chair and watch Dr. Who season 6 starring Ms Gillan as the companion or
2. Go back to work... Mud, itchy chicken feed, trying to put a tractor back together... Etc...

Putting the tractor back together after 2 years

I went out to work on the Minneapolis-Moline G1355 yesterday. I went sort of blank. I have no idea how this stuff goes back on. It was two years ago that I took it apart.
Brother and I put the engine back in. Brother put the engine back together. My traditional role has been the engine installation. I installed the starter...
I was going to install the water pump and air cleaner (which shares mounting holes with the thermostat) and put the frame rails and front end on, but I can't remember anything...
I went back to making feed.

Monday, November 11, 2013

A Monday rambling post that doesn't really make much sense and has nothing to do with farming or corn pictures

Sunday evening I retreated to the back bedroom to organize curate my obsessions hoarding collections and I found a couple Velvet Underground albums.
So I fired up the vintage Scott 282 Tube Amp (cause It reminds me of my childhood) and put The Velvet Underground 1969 on the Rek-O-Kut turntable that once belonged to MuddyValley's father.
I had to pause for a moment of ironic humor, not just in honor of all the clever ironic Lou Reed fans, but really in honor of the silliness of life in general.
1969 is a live album, Lou's clever banter is recorded on the opening track. He makes a clever comment about it being a "school night" and then encourages the audience to partake of whatever it is that helps them find happiness (don't have the exact quote and too lazy to get up and restart the album so perhaps I'm completely full of poop on this one) and then there is a little dig about what ever it takes to find happiness in Texas. (another paraphrase, I'm going to have to listen to this again this evening and update)
I found it interesting to hear the condescending tone way back when.
I find it amusing to remember all the 1960's chatter about the oppression and the police state and sticking it to the man and the power of youth and changing the world and then seeing how it all ended up.
Sure, gay people can get married...but...
But, a couple silly girls dress up like the twin towers and you would think they had sinned against the supreme being.
A silly actress dresses up as a stupid TV show character and you would think she was a slave owner. Good grief, get over being a victim already... If you paint your face black with white or red circles around your mouth, a top hat, a monkey tail, and you make fun of the Negro then it is black face. If you paint your face black to dress up like a black doughnut or a TV character then it is not racially offensive and if you are offended you are an idiot...
Not to belabor a point but the world is now much worse than it was in 1969 and the clever generation is now in charge.
What a bunch of phonies, he said ironically...
And now I give you the voice of a dead drug addict, a drug addict who beat the odds and made a lot of money and fulfilled the prophecy written in the liner notes of his album. Yes indeed, school children now go to a museum to see a display on Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground, and it has not been 100 years...
Kind of funny to see the two old guys from the youth generation getting together to sing.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

I just remembered that I've left my tractor and drill in a field somewhere...

This morning my lovely and gracious wife took a break from making pancakes to point out that I had neglected to put plastic over the dirt pile I left in the front yard. Also, that it was my obsession to get plastic and put over the dirt pile, and that after getting the plastic, I then let the dirt pile set in the rain.
I pointed out that I had covered one dirt pile but got distracted and didn't get the second one covered.
She gave me a funny look...
And then I remembered! I went off and left my tractor and drill in a field somewhere. It should not be hind to find them as I only planted 100 acres this fall. (Not that I will ever get around to sending out bills.)
Here it is, next to the old barn with the recessed door hangers.

I also found this harrow that was built by my father and uncle, back in the day... when real farmers didn't wear short pants...
Now, instead of going to work, we are going to watch season one of Dr. Who. This will reinforce our families' belief in the mythology of the UK as seen though reruns on OPB! (And faint memories of being there in 1984)
However, we now have a 42" LCD TV (gifted from the Father in Law) and unlimited internet TV on our rather old Wii, due to our new Onlinemac antenna and someone subscribing to Amazon Prime.
Last night I stayed up late watching episodes of Angry Beavers. I wanted to watch South Park but it would have cost $1.99 which I deemed as too expensive.
Have a nice day...
Or perhaps a better Eastwood quote:
"Get off my lawn!"

Thursday, November 7, 2013

True Art is in the eye of the Beholder?

I hate rain, but yet I live in Oregon.
My brother is out working. I can hear things clunking and banging.
I'm in the house in the dark looking up Art's-Way mixer/grinders and listening to British Ska and drinking about five gallons of coffee.
I'm supposed to be making feed for my neighbor but I ran out of barley.
The barley is at another neighbor's warehouse ten miles away. We have no trucks that are currently 1. Roadworthy (although that never stops us) 2. Licensed (cause the State of Oregon violates you on license fees)
And it is raining.
I would borrow the tow behind fertilizer box from the place where Orin is a board member but since we kept the spreader all summer and fall and were too lazy to put the tarp over it, I do not want to be the one to take it back. And I don't have the nerve to ask to borrow another one.
Eventually someone is going to come knock on the door.
Perhaps I shall brave the rain and venture out into the mudhole that is our farm...

In my mind's eye I am 22 and riding this...

I have license for it...
All it needs is a new helmet, new tyres, the correct fender, the sump under the crank cleaned out, new points, the zenier diode repaired or a large capacitor fitted instead of the battery that never stays charged, new tail light lens installed, new turn signal lens installed (I have the lenses). I should rebuild the forks and buy new shocks but I won't get that done. Needs a good once over with semi-chrome polish or Mother's Mag Wheel polish.
But I also have a whole list of farm projects to do...
And a Studebaker cruiser that is rusting in my driveway. Just needs an oil change, a little work on the brakes, the battery is dead, and a transmission oil change.
That is it... And it has been setting for a year....

So here are some videos, I think the first one is of Kev and his mates out on the town... After a while they run into the hippo on the lawn guy who say they are "good lads" and mayhem follows...

Not to mention
And that whole train of thought was started by an email from British Only that was advertising calendars which is about the only thing they have left, after a decade of closeout sales...

Also, here is how to make Rum if you are interested. CLICK HERE

Saturday, November 2, 2013

I finish planting and listen to talk radio

It is very possible that I am completely finished with planting for the year. I kind of depend on doing about 500 acres for other people every fall. This buys fertilizer and fuel for the next season.
I planted right around 100 acres for other people.
Hope the USDA is giving away free cheese this winter...
I planted 45 acres yesterday 10 acres at home and 35 acres a half hour away.
I worked long enough to run through my mp3 playlist one too many times and I resorted to talk radio out of boredom.
I do not understand how Lars Larsen can be a top conservative talk show host. He is such a maroon.
It was Friday and people could call in and talk about anything.
People were calling in about a local campaign to require labeling on products which contain GMO products.
It is probably a poorly written measure which will have insane unintended consequences-as is the case with most legislation we see.
However, that was not the point.
An old guy called into complain that GMO Round-Up resistance round result in more chemicals, specifically round-up, in our food.
Lars started explaining DNA to him. I mean he starts naming all the parts and names of a DNA molecule.
Finally it becomes apparent that Lars thinks the old dude is trying to say that Round-Up is part of a GMO plant.
Um, really?
The old dude was trying to say that engineered glyphosate resistance in a plant leads to increased use of glyphosate which would get into our diet due to residue or uptake into the soil or plants.
So we have the internet at our fingertips.
Lars has access to a huge knowledge base of online info from his studio.
You can find out how glyphosate works from
There are concerns that disrupting the enzyme uptake stuff can cause long range problem with soils. However, I'm not really smart enough to argue one way or another on that one.
There are many arguments about glyphosate which are interesting debates and there are good arguments about Monsanto, but we don't get into those on the Lars Larsen show.
No we debate the obvious in the usual Lars style. He tries to define terms everyone knows. He puts forth ineffective arguments phrased in a pseudo argumentative style.
As in the discussion with the anti-roundup Alfalfa guy some years ago.
So this Alfalfa is not affected by Round-up.
Round-up Kills weeds.
Is Alfalfa a weed?
Ergo, Round-up resistance is a good thing!
At that point Mr. Geertson's head seemed to explode from the banality of the argument and Lars decided he had won the argument!
I went back to my mp3 player until Michael Savage came on the AM 1430 and the spaceship guy replaced Lars at 7 p.m.
Note: I'm not really against the use of Glyphosate, but I do understand the concern. I don't really care about the GMO label one way or another.

Friday, November 1, 2013

A correction

The link to Roosty6 driving the IH to the gravel pit was broken. (See High Speed Internet Oh Boy post) Here it is: CLICK HERE

Someone else shifting a twin stick in an old Mac Truck. CLick Here

Girl Shocked by an electric fence in Australia (note the video appears sideways because Australia is on the other side of the world from this blog so from my perspective everyone walks sideways) CLick Here

Squirrel Catapult Clicke Heree

The Skatalites in a movie Click Here

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