The Useful Duck!

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Monday, January 30, 2017

Monday is the worst

One of my coworkers was discussing his fight with depression after a painful divorce.
He got to the point of downing pills and Jim Beam.
He was found at the nick of time by a concerned friend who knocked down his door and saved his life.
My other coworker asked him about getting to the point where you just don't think you can make it out of bed to start the day and the overwhelming feeling you just can't do it anymore.
I was a bit shocked.
Not so much at the expression of the feeling, but that she just flat out asked the guy...
I have pretty much decided life is nothing but a bitter struggle which brief fleeting moments of happiness followed by continual frustration.
My plan of enjoying those fleeting moments of happiness has so far kept me out of the pill bottle. Don't take that statement too far as I don't think we have enough pills in our house to actually do oneself in. Don't have to worry about guns because I'm a terrible shot. I might fall off the roof again but that would be just because I am awkward.
Well that certainly went morbid in a hurry...
No I am not that depressed.
I just have all these farming ideas that I want to do.
I have 200 ton of hay to sell and ten semi-loads of straw to sell and I'm taking care of athletic grass and parking lots.
I want to buy a mixer-grinder and make pig feed. I want to buy another 2-tie baler, fix the stacker, build an automatic hay preservative injector, paint two tractors, build a sprayer, rebuild the fertilizer spreader, tear down a barn, build a new barn, put my daughter's t-shirts on Easy, work on my car, plant 2,000 acres, rebuild my fertilizer system on my grain drill, rebuild the grain drill...
In short...
Not say yes sir to a bunch of career bureaucrats and drive around in circles on a lawn mower.
I want to spend my Sunday going to church, hanging out with my daughter, riding motorcycle, making t-shirts, not doing all the stuff I don't have time to do because I have to have a job.
On the other hand I may actually have a retirement fund. If I can maintain my payments...
Have a nice day...

In other news:
The people who shot up the mosque in Quebec were not disgruntled Frenchmen. Nope, fellow Islamic people. Click Here...

We are watching the news of the Portland Airport protests. People are angrily screaming "Love on another..."
As someone who grew up on cold war commie stories I am bitterly amused at the programming that has been accepted by our friends who call themselves democrats. It is party line all the way. I have yet to hear, "running dogs of capitalist oppression," but I eagerly await the change in language.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

These Are Not The Leaf-Blowers You Are Looking For...

My daughter has affected me.
I have never viewed a full Starwars movie. I find them a bit tedious. But I also like to make clever insider jokes with my daughter and so I have watched parts of the movies with her.
I hooked up a large screen surplus LCD TV in her room and wired up a Dynaco QD1 passive surround sound set up for her when she had a Star Wars marathon with her friends.

The other day at work someone asked for a leaf blower.
I replied, these are not the Leaf Blowers you are looking for.
He replied, these are not the Leaf Blowers I am looking for... Move along...
The other fellow thought it was rather funny.
I was happy to engage in a cultural reference that didn't involve 40 year old country-western music.

Later, another of my co-workers insisted on buying me lunch at the Sushi place in honor of payday and new responsibilities at work. He thinks that everything is "Part of God's Plan" and that "We have a mission" at the college.

I had the octopus.

It was weird and disgusting. You could feel the rubber tentacles and the funny little suckers. I looked at his empty and deflated brain sack and felt depressed.
This is how I will end up.
My brains jellied and drained out.
Perhaps I will be happier.

Oh boy, another day at work!
I'm learning the job of Athletics Groundskeeper.
I spent all day yesterday blowing off the track.
I have to figure out a way to listen to books on tape. This is mind numbing boredom...

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Some rambling thoughts

I find Sunday evenings kind of depressing. Monday I got to work.
Today I was not feeling particularly well. I kept waking up covered in sweat during the night and I was sure I was coming down with something this morning. I went back to bed.
We were looking forward to a church potluck today but we all went back to bed. I stuck my head out at 8 a.m. and the family was sleeping in the living room so I retreated to the bedroom.
My supervisor has been sick for a week. (You may have noticed the groundskeeper sledding video from the previous post)
I do not want to get sick. I plan on using my personal time to plant or make hay.
I would have probably spent the day in bed but,
I had forgotten that my nephew wanted to buy our car.
I can't really afford three vehicles anymore and we decided if someone makes an offer then why not?
The check engine light was on.
I had thought it was a left over problem from earlier when I had coil and spark plug problems. I am a rather lazy person and planned on ignoring it and telling the new owner this is why I was going to give him a good deal.
But my wife bought a code reader and so I felt compelled to try it out. The error indicated a problem with the catalytic converter. (Apparently it is leaking cows or the Catalyst retired) Or it could be the O2 sensor or a loose wire, or a fuel injector problem, or a bad spark plug. There is a good chance it is a bad plug or fuel related but with my luck it would be the converter.
I reset the codes and started for Portland to deliver the car. The check engine light came on and so I went back home to check the codes as in my optimism I had forgotten the code reader. It was another 0420 code. I suspect it is Chronic...(get the joke? 420 is Chronic?)
I should have worked on the car two weeks ago.
I'm going to see if the mechanic at work will look at it.

In other news, I am in the process of building a trolley set up for splitting a tractor. I worked on that instead of the car on Saturday. I was having a lot of trouble thinking.
I finally settled on a design which was too complicated.

It will have a four wheel carriage which will ride on rails made of angle iron welded to flat plate. A hydraulic jack with a telescoping stabilizer on each side will sit on the carriage and push up a bar which is supported by the two stabilizers. The bar will have holes to bolt to the bottom of the tractor engine. It will also have support for the frame side rails.
The idea is to block up the transmission a bit, then use the jack to remove the pressure on the engine and then remove the bell housing blots and the frame rail bolts. It should all roll ahead with no need for a chain hoist.
We shall see...

The Hercules engine swap is progressing slowly. My helper seemed convinced that he needed to remove the injector lines from the pump. I would have just removed them from the injectors. I hate to disrupt another person's project but I want to pull the timing cover and see if the cam gear is bolted or pressed on. The cam gear and injector pump gear from the tractor need to go on the army truck engine.

Finally, Donald Trump has been a major subject as of late.
My college had a public forum to watch the inauguration. There was much crying. It was a little amusing as earlier in the week we had an address from the President of the College where we learned that the nominee for Education Secretary was expected to decrease the expenses of the college through less regulation and that her support of small private colleges is expected to reap further benefits.
Of course Donald will probably deport all the students whose parents are illegal but the college has already started resisting. The security guy found it amusing that college president has directed security not to pass information on these students onto the Feds. Not only has security never done that but they don't actually collect that information on students nor do they share any personal details with any outside agency. But, it was a great email.
But, I digress.
I chose to skip the party as I had a shrub to prune.
A coworker went. He got up and said he was a Republican and he really didn't expect the world to end. This provoked an outpouring of love and adoration. They all got to have a dialogue.
I found it pretty hilarious.
A simple yeoman worker who is deluded by the propaganda of the evil Donald. Oh my! The wonderful simplicity of his belief.
I'm sure that at the next wine tasting the faculty will be congratulating each other actually having one of "those people" at their college. Diversity is wonderful. Yes indeed, some of my best friends are Republicans, I don't have them here with me of course because they would feel out of their element, but tokenism makes one feel so much better. Shaking hands with the simple folk...
I did listen to his speech on the way home. I didn't find it all that dark and unsettling. My wife said I should not say that people who interpreted the speech that way were idiots. After some reflection I do see why it is interpreted that way.
When Trump made the claim that he wanted to be the voice of the dispossessed I assumed it meant poor and unrepresented people of all walks of life. What I didn't understand is that when you run that though the Democrat Nutcase Perception Filter it comes out meaning people like me...
In reality, think the the speech was a lot of hot air and I expect everything he attempts to do will be spun into the most vile and horrible abuse of women's rights and civil liberties since Tomas Jefferson trumped Sally Hemmings but then I didn't vote for Trump because I thought he would be a particularly good president.
To be quite honest with you, I've always been a little fascinated with the idea of Mutually Assured Destruction (Growing up at the end of the cold war and all) and I figure if I'm going to be screwed I'll do it on my terms and I'll take as many $%^&8#ing liberals down with me a possible!
And their little pink hats toooooo...

Have a nice day...
Tomorrow I go to work mowing grass for a bunch of really privileged morons. The athletic director with his BMW roadster needs his grass at precisely 1 1/4" for the good of mankind and the future of American youth. Gotta chase that ball! I'd go mow the football field but I doubt I'd get fired. Possibly retrained. (artificial turf-which I think is just wrong anyway)

Note: I really never had anything against Liberals until this election. I've always leaned towards the Libertarian side of things and I like to make comments which I think are clever. Perhaps someone can pray for me that I am able to forgive Democrats for sticking with Hillary. Or perhaps I just need the re-education camp. At least I bought myself four more years away from that...

Second Note: I just found this post on the original trolley tractor split idea. You would not believe how I have over-engineered this concept... Click Here

Monday, January 16, 2017

I get twice the responsibility and no raise, oh boy...

I do not aspire to greatness.
In fact I'm kind of a screw up.
This is me today while I was supposed to being trained for my new job. I did not post the recording of the other guy as he doesn't want to get fired.

My work friend transferred to another department. He gained a big increase in pay and added responsibility.
This morning it was announced I would be taking his place. He does all the athletic fields. This is twice the responsibility and I now have to get my commercial spray applicator's license. If I wanted to apply chemicals I would have got the license 20 years ago.
My old area is a great area. I have hills to climb and lots of different things to do. I don't have to drive lawnmower five days a week in the summer. Nor do I have to deal with coaches or have precise settings for lawn care.
I asked if I was getting a raise.
I'm not...
I really wish I could quit...

The things young white kids want to believe and we pay for with our tax dollars

I have a nephew who is really a nice guy. He is smart and thoughtful and totally and a good person. But he is completely full of poop. In another age he would have been a missionary or pastor. He now works for the Oregon Student Interest Group.
They go door to door to develop cell groups and it is called community organizing. Sort of the Jehovah Witness of the Social Justice Warrior Religion. He is quite good at it it would seem.
I avoid commenting on his Facebook posts because it will only make me look like more of a racist and intolerant white person than I actually am, and because persecution only reinforces the belief systems of people who are Marxists, Social Justice Warriors, Democrats, waiting for Space Ships to take them away, or other Cults such as John Deere owners, or who listen to Justin Queefer.
Here is a link to an inane essay written by one of his fellow travelers at University of Oregon.
Your tax/tuition dollars at work...

Click Here

If you don't want to click I can summarize it.
The USA is an oppressive state run by White Males and founded solely on Slavery. Slavery is perpetuated by the Prison system which only targets black folk. The issue of whether the USA is becoming a police state is bypassed in favor of a conspiracy theory of oppression only of Black People and Social Justice Warriors.

Have a nice Martin Luther King Dr. Junior day.
Don't forget to celebrate Jackson and Lee's birthdays later in the week.

Friday, January 13, 2017

The Global Climate Change Inspired Weather Continues

We have more snow.
I was called in early in the week to come in a 6 a.m. and do snow and ice removal.
I bought extra warm clothes so I would be the one to run the Toro snowplow.
While it is a bit nippy at 6 a.m., I like to run bulldozers, and I am allergic to hard work. It makes me tired.
I zipped around and plowed sidewalks.
The dining hall folks gave us a free breakfast! I had a very decent omelette and gravy.
The guy next to me pocketed a boiled egg for later. Great plan! I wish I would have thought of it.
Then the skid shoes on my plow wore through so the blade hit the ground.
No one was in the shop and so I welded up new wear plates from scrap metal I found in the scrap barrel.

Then I got caught.
It unfortunately improved my status at work. They suspect I have hidden talents.
This resulted in my being called in to do ice melt at 6 a.m. yesterday.
I told the supervisor I was easily confused and needed supervision. So he called in the guy who normally does it but is moving to a different department.

He spent the morning training me. We went to 7-11 for coffee.
It was much better than shoveling ice.
We stretched it out till 2 p.m. when we had to go home so we would not be paid overtime.
I'm hoping I can find parking lots to bulldoze today so I don't have to shovel.
I am now The Lazy Groundskeeper!
Then I came home and we pulled the engine out of the 2-135. Another engine swap coming up.

Sunday, January 8, 2017


I downloaded an app called YikYak on my iPhone. Students at my college use this instead of Facebook. I like to check it out to see if I am mentioned for doing obnoxious groundskeeper things like running the leaf blower. I also sometimes worry I will be called out for climbing hills when I think there are no students observing.
I have made mention once for cutting cookies in the snow in a parking lot. I felt kind of proud of myself.
I checked it out today to see if anyone was talking about the weather as we are having freezing rain.
This is what I saw...
If found it hilarious. I do wish Ohiofarmgirl was still following me. She would get a good laugh. To really get the humor you have to realize tuition is $46,000 a year. That is a lot of money to pay for a safe space to stick things in your bottom and have people take you seriously.

And now for something completely different, a record I found in a Thrift Store

Saturday, January 7, 2017

A Pathetic Snow Storm

It has been rather chilly in my neck of the woods. The temperatures have been in the teens. (Using the nonCommunist system of indicating temperature)
This has made groundskeeping a bit uncomfortable. It is not bad when the sun comes out. The worst thing is having five layers of clothes and having to go to the bathroom. I've considered just pooping myself but eventually I am going to have to get down to my underwear and I suspect there would be some objection from the home laundry department.

My lovely wife got me a Mr. Heater for Christmas. I'm pretty sure this would not be allowed. I keep quiet about it.

I've been raking leaves and cutting woody plants. The leaves are usually frozen to the ground but the point is really to work hard enough to not be cold. It is also good to be seen hauling Gator loads of leaves and clippings around. This makes you look productive.

I've actually had a student buy me coffee and a couple offered. I thought this was pretty generous until it was explained that the students get extra points on the meal cards which can be redeemed at Starbucks and so they are not actually spending $5 of student loan money. (I think)
Today it snowed.
My nephew from the city showed up with a spare computer to play some sort of computer game with my daughter. I was attempting to fix the four-wheeler so that I could tow her on an inner tube in the snow.
I forgot to shut the gas off on the four-wheeler and it filled the crankcase up with gasoline. Of course problems ensued and it took me hours. Then we discovered the old tractor tube had a leak which I attempted to patch and the patch failed.
So I took them for a ride in the snow in my pickup. I convinced my daughter to try "cutting cookies." I think she was not all that thrilled.

It is now raining and 29 degrees. I suspect it will be just a little slick in the morning..

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