Positive thinking and the Junior Jihadist

I was discussing the Jihad Jr. (Christmas Tree Bomber) with another farmer this morning and we figured out where he went wrong. The visiting farmer was laughing about the cell phone recording they played on TV today (I didn't see it) and how there were obvious edits and things missing and complaining about how much this stupid scam was going to cost us tax payers and, suddenly we realized a totally overlooked opportunity,
I've been reading "How to win friends and influence people," and I saw an episode of "Earl" yesterday and it all came together in a flash.  Jr. Jihad had it made, he just needed to recognize the opportunity!
So, he gets an apartment and $3,000 and gets to hang out wild Jihadists and blow stuff up in the woods and he really has it made. What was he thinking in punching the buttons on that cell phone?
He should have said, "hey guys, I think next week would be better cause they will have bell ringers in Pioneer square and that is such a total symbol of the great Satan."
Or, "I really need to go to Panama City beach to recruit more Jihadists during spring break."
Or could you get me Net Flicks cause I need it for research.
Or I really need strippers to convince me of the vileness of the western world. Oh, yeah and more porn!
Or how about the DAY AFTER Christmas cause that is when all the shoppers are out.
Or after New Years...
Or I need more cash, and a Hummer, man all the real terrorists have hummers...
Or I could do this so much better with the new iPhone.
Hey man, can we go blow stuff up in the woods again I forgot how.
Or dang it I would have pushed the button but I have a cold.
Or there was a kitty cat and it was soooo cute!
I should start a consulting service!