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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Our Christmas Tree

Getting a Christmas Tree was not the simple process it once was.
There are several considerations.
Christmas trees no longer cost $5
Christmas trees no longer cost $10
It would seem that living in the Christmas Tree capital of the world there would be a discount Christmas tree lot.
There is nothing of the sort.
Once I did find a baled Christmas tree which fell off a truck. That has shaped the course of Christmas tree hunting in my family for the next few decades.
My daughter will not have the memory of hiking through the snowy woods to cut down the perfect tree. No her memory will be riding up and down the roads near the Christmas tree farms trying to spy a which fell off a load and is now in the ditch. The ditch water keeps the tree from drying out.
We had a fake tree at the old house. Sadie had bad allergies which may have come from the smokey wood stove, or the fact that her bedroom had no foundation and when we moved we discovered the wall behind her dresser blue with mold. Sadie got tired of jokes about fake trees and getting pictures of presents instead of the actual present.
Still, when faced with the idea that spending $30 on a Christmas tree that would only last a couple weeks then that same money could go in on Legos, Sadie lobbied heavily for the fake tree.
Alas, the fake tree could not be found. After a great deal of searching it was determined that the fake tree had gotten wet in the storage trailer after our move and had been pitched with all the other moldy and rusty treasures.
So no tree.
We did drive around looking for lost trees. Several plans were made for finding discount u-cut it lots. Then we discovered the tree farms were burning huge piles of trees that did not sell. So, the hunt was on to find someone we knew who had access.
It turns out that Chronic Boy (uncle H's grandson) lives next to a Christmas tree farm. He mentioned the huge piles of trees that were being torched and offered to bring us one. Of course we said yes.
Of course he forgot.
So the helper and I went to get the tree.
Chronic Boy lives in a trailer in the middle of a Christmas tree plantation. He has two other room mates. A Iraq war vet who got blown up and is on disability and a skinny twitchy girl, who drives him to work in an irratic manner and who raises rabbits. They have a lot of trees. One in their pickup, one on the porch and one in the driveway. That is my tree.
J. and I throw it in the truck and away we go. Somehow this seems suspicious. It could be that there is a giant pile of trees in the field across from his house. Did he ask the owner?
I think I am in possession of a stolen Christmas tree. This has got to be the lowest of the low. Stealing a Christmas tree at age 46.
What will my daughter learn from this...
It is a very nice tree.


  1. I used to own a Christmas tree farm, so I was both perturbed and amused when I caught a kid stealing a wild one from the edge of the property (I would have GIVEN him one if I'd known he couldn't afford one). So, I explained that even stealing WILD trees from another person's land is still illegal, but told him that since he'd already cut it, to go ahead and keep it and to have a nice Christmas. I watched him in my rearview mirror after I drove away and saw him give it one last look and then pitch it back into the brush where he'd cut it and drive off himself. Apparently a STOLEN tree is the prettiest!

    Enjoy your tree; its beauty will go to waste otherwise, and if it IS stolen, at least YOU didn't do it!

  2. My rationalization: They were going to throw it away...
    I choose to believe he asked the owner first...

  3. Whilst driving down 395 our to Ritzville Friday a family in a Suburban with a rather scraggly tree strapped to the top passed me. Now since there are no trees anywhere between Ritzville and Pasco they must have come quite a ways already. Near Connell they were beside the road with the hood up. Then they pass me again and sure enough there they are a Sagemoor Rd with the hood up. Someone had a tree adventure to remember.-G706

  4. A true knight of the road would have offered assistance...
    I hope those folk's Christmas memory doesn't involve theft!


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