The Useful Duck!

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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Moronic marketing schemes and things that annoy me from Craigslist

I may have posted about this before...
I bought Microsoft Streets and Trips for my GPS tablet. My tablet does not have a CD/DVD drive and because it is a piece of crap that runs Microsoft @#$%^&ing Windows it is not so easy to just hook random objects up to it and have it work, like if I were using my iBook. Conversely, since mediocrity rules the world, the windows system is the dominant system and the nice fellow at FarmerGPS does not make his program to run on a Mac. And since Apple is run by semi-morons instead of total morons at Microsoft, Apple only makes expensive laptops that I don't want to see bouncing around in my tractor....
Wow! I am really off subject at this point...
I digress.
I tried to download Streets and Trips using limewire. I figured I had a serial number and it would work. Then I spied an entire album side that I had never seen before! I opened it first of course-since this is a stupid windows computer, the icon started spinning and nothing happened. So I tried to open streets and trips. It was some sort of adware program that started installing itself on my tablet. Then the album opened!
It was porn! Nasty, nasty, nasty, porn. Internet explorer does not block popups like Firefox. So, now I had nasty cascading windows of porn.
I ripped the wireless PC card from the computer and mashed down the on/off button. Of course since it is a piece of crap Windows PC, I couldn't find a mute or volume button. I covered it with a pillow. How are you going to explain something like this to your wife? Sure honey, it was just an accident?
So, I got the piece of poop shut down and restarted and I thought I got rid of the programs. But, I did not. When ever I am online I get offers for products based on where I have been on the internet. You get where I am going, I am a farmer, I look at farmer stuff. Did you know there is farmer porn, and it is not I still feel violated and so does the cow and pigs and perhaps chicken, I didn't get that far. I did get an offer for one video where foreigners were getting it on in a combine. I had never seen a combine like that before. I think it was Russian. I was able to get the name off the side and do a google search. The website was not in English. It looked like an interesting combine. The porn was not so great.
But, I digress.
The point is... The program installed on my computer has a website (which I have lost) and they were very proud of themselves for delivering targeted advertising. Targeted advertising delivered though what was essentially a virus on a barely legal file sharing site? Advertising that reminds you of every perverted miss-adventure you have had on the internet? Unexpected popups from what ever stupid site you accidently clicked on, or what every your guilty pleasure is? I think NOT!!!!! So, I emptied my cache and now have to find the local computer expert to get rid of this program. Like they will believe I was not looking at people having sex on Russian combines, but rather looking at the COMBINES....

I have an ad on craigslist.
So this moron emails me from my advert:

 Hows it going, I took a look at your ad on craigslist and wanted to show you this program.

To be honest there is really no such thing or way to "Get rich quick" on-line, like tons of people have been talking about. This will show you how to be successful IF you work for it.

The truth is a bunch of those sellers who "claim" to know how to make you rich - haven't earned decent money themselves... And they are trying to teach other people how to make an income?

Doesnt make much sense to me if you're interested so far take a look this site
Here you go

Hope it works out for you.


No I am not going to start a blog with your stupid program. Yes i do realize it is a get rich quick scheme. Yes I did click on the link so I could make rude comments to you and there is no email address.
Here is the link
Of course SMC  Specialty Merchandise Corporation is a huge rip-off for everyone but the founders of the company. See this ling to the Ripoff Report.
Do these emails ever work? Obviously-as SMC is doing quite well!
I would much rather get an email from Nigeria, those are very amusing!

So do you think people will respond to my advert? Click here to view!

Edit or Additions-I am suffering some internal problems which force me to spend more time in my office. So I have more time wander the internet. I checked out the Eye of Polyphemus, he has posted a hot chick photo in a shameless quest to get hits from internet search engines. I have linked to him with much the same intent and perhaps I will just mention his name again, Eye of Polyphemus at the girl is with out a doubt, very attractive but...
I don't understand the whole naked lady facial expression thing. I am making similar expressions but that is because I am severely constipated. The nice young lady (who I am sure is no better than she ought to be) seems more bemused than anything else, so perhaps she is not such a good example. For better expressions of pain and delight click here...
Now, scroll to the right. See the girl in the red underwear? The photographer liked to use our old house. If you look at more of his photos you will see more of our farm and some of our old house. I am almost sure we were not home at the time. We didn't ever lock our house so who knows what happened there. Our house is the rickety one...
But, I digress.
This girl is setting on bird poop. I saw her butt prints after the photo shoot. Is this suffering for art? What about that girl that just got out of the river? It looks cold to me, I think she is shivering! There is another girl in the "fine art category" who seems to be stuck in the grain bin. She looks very unhappy. Probably saw a RAT!
There are things I do not understand! I like the goofy-"Look at me I'm nekked!" expression! I prefer happy and stupid to "I am sooo constipated!"
And now I must go to work...

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