The Useful Duck!

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Monday, November 26, 2012

I tried out the hot tub

It is a clear and brisk night here in Western Oregon. I have found it hard to sleep after a 15 cup of coffee day.
So I thought I would give the hot tub a try. It has been somewhat of a long road to a working hot tub.
One day it showed up on a pallet in the back yard.
Much humor has been had at my expense over this endeavor.
The neighborhood Democrat brought it by on a trailer behind his Jetta. The one that used to have an Obama sticker on it. He also promised to install it.
Several farmers has questioned his motives and my sexual orientation has been called into question.
But, after much suffering the hot tub is up and running.
Today my back was killing me.
So I tried the Hot Tub.
It was nice and toasty warm. I could hear the coyotes howling and the geese honking, no doubt missing Ralph's wheat fields up North.
It was nice.
For about five minutes.
Then I got bored.
My historic experiences with hot tubs usually involved the risk of the real owners showing up and pondering the question of did I like the person I was in the hot tub with enough to help her back over the fence. So I never had the chance to be bored.
I do like long hot baths but I usually have reading material or if I am lucky my daughter has left a Lego boat in the bath. Sometimes I just fall asleep.
I tried the different jet settings. That was kind of cool.
If I had a telescope I could look though my brothers windows but I think the kids were just playing the Wii so not that exciting.
So I got out.
My back feels better.
Perhaps i need to read up on this...


  1. Wouldn't it get damp from the steam?

  2. you should take the duck swimming

  3. You need Rite-in-the-Rain paper. Works wonders for x-mas tree load sheets. 2nd the duck motion!

  4. Invite Stanley the target dog in for a swim next time. It will not be boring.

  5. Rubber duckies and a pump action repeating ping pong ball gun like you could buy about 1954.

    1. And which is now probably not sold, because it would be too dangerous in the hands of children.


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