The Useful Duck!

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Friday, December 9, 2011

Expletive infixation

So... I went after a load of raw materials to make chicken feed. (screenings they are called). Then I went to the Chiropractor which actually made me feel better. Then I took my daughter to the Asian Buffet which made her feel better but not I. Where we got Bok Choy Boy for 50 cents.
Then I went home to make chicken feed.
It did not work so well. The auger kept plugging and I smelled burning grass screenings.
Then some people came after hay. They always make out the check incorrectly. They were unable to make the connection between me shutting off the hammer mill and me planning on getting them hay. They went to the shop.
Then dad called me four times in a row.
Finally they came back and stared at me for a while.
I got them hay...
Then the bearing went out on the hammer mill. One of two main bearings. It will be a pain in the arse to fix.
I put everything away and went in and laid on the couch. It was 4 p.m.
Now I have discipline my child for not doing her chores even though I asked her like four times if she had really finished them.
Earlier while I was grinding feed. My neighbor was worried about me and brought me some Wild Turkey and Honey as a home remedy. He even brought a glass. He keeps trying to give me a hot tub.
I took a sip and then just drained the glass. I am open to home remedy. He thinks I'm an alcoholic. I replied I was just "taking my medicine."
That was really nasty stuff! It did not make me feel better...
I'm a little worried about that whole hot tube thing...
Have a nice evening.


  1. Just remember, if you accept the hot tub, don't ingest large amounts of home remedies.

  2. Yes, and I would be careful who I invite into it as well.

  3. So how does the home remedy work? Do you sip it? Is it supposed to be hot? How could Wild Turkey and Honey do anything for a virus? Should i have had another couple glasses? OR, Does it only work in the hot tub and only for the person who gave it to you?
    It did make the theraflu work faster!

  4. It doesn't do anything for a virus. It might make your throat feel better, if not the rest of you. My experience is that it is a momentary cure (when taken in a sufficient dose)followed by a regression the next morning.

  5. I wonder if some of these remedies, both home and pharaceutical might work partly based on faith and belief in the chance that they will actually work? If it tastes good thats just a bonus. One of my favourites is good old Buckley's mixture for a sore throat or cough.

  6. Ralph, Being of a curious mind and since my wife has declared me too ill to go to work or church, I have done some inquiries.
    I think the high proof alcohol helps you sleep. Which is much better than laying in bed staring at the ceiling. It also may help with some throat infections.
    One person (who will remain nameless) noted several times where a sore throat had been averted with shots of tequila.
    Wild Turkey seems to be a favorite cure for what ever ails you. But, I find it rather nasty. I think you are supposed to sip it slowly while wrapped in blankets next to an open hearth fireplace or a roaring woodstove.
    My young helper says alcohol helps the action of night time Thera-flu. But I think he used Yaeger-Mister or Crown Royal.
    Some follks swear by Peppermint Schnapps. I do know that Peppermint Schnapps and 7-up is a sure cure for over eating.
    I suspect the term home remedy pretty much covers any malaise, physical or psychosomatic.


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