I am stalked by a duck and I listen to the radio which leads to many comments which most people will not agree with...

I have spent the last week in a tractor. I suppose this is a good thing.
I have been listening to the radio. This is not that good. I didn't realize the end of the world was at hand.
I have been listening to "Ground Zero," and discovered we being bombarded by radiation and there has been a wave of cannibalism, starting in Florida and moving up the Eastern Seaboard.
I learned about rational thought and that animals are especially sensitive to smells.
Sometimes I listen to podcasts from Howstuff Works.
I listened to a NPR special on the town of Roseburg which used to be called the "Timber Capital of the World."
I actually laughed out loud when the folks in the town meeting stated the town was "red hot" because of its wonderful art and theater programs, a vibrant farmer's market, and it's new found status as a wine capital.
There was only one fellow that I heard that made sense. He spoke about the cycles in the timber industry and in a very nice way did stress that the resource based industry did bring a lot of revenue into the local economy.
I laughed because I have watched the wine "industry" infiltrate Yamhill country. It is all based on nothing. Emotions, perceptions, speculations, purple paint, and arseholes in short pants and sandals.
Wineries are mostly owned by rich people who are "not from around here," and who don't really need to make a profit.
The winery business is like tourism. There are minimum wage jobs created, there is extra traffic, there are opportunities for people with specialty businesses that cater to their specific needs but it does not provide the cash flow that the high paying timber jobs provided.
The idea of a vibrant farmer's market supporting a town is also a joke. Farmer's markets exist because of a failure in the modern food distribution system. They are there only because food in the supermarkets is so bad and because of superstitions about GMO food.
Its not that I don't like farmer's markets. In fact I think this new-found concern for quality food to be a great idea. I just can't see the income generated by a farmer's market to sustain a whole town. It takes a lot of higher mark-ups to equal smaller profit and more volume of a commercial farm. And all it takes is a new interpretation of one law to shut down a farmer's market. Just a little more regulation that is bound to be here.
Which brings me to the other thing that I am amazed by. The shear volume of new rules and regulations. There is no wonder the economy is in the tank. It is weighted down by the shear volume of bureaucracy and regulation.
However, all this information has bettered my understanding of life.
I have noticed that a duck has been following me. I can hear him quack but when I turn abound there is no duck. I have noticed that the duck has very bad breath as I can often smell it after he quacks.
I thought I was being stalked by an evil avian for no apparent reason. I considered violence but settled for indifference..
However, now that I was able to use all the knowledge I've gained this week to analyze the situation I have a new understand and realize it is all part of a rational universe.
After hearing a podcast on rational thought I analyzed my activities.
Monday I had a bowl of beans and then I went to the dairy to check on the grass we are going to chop for silage. I did notice that the manure lagoon did smell quite badly that day and I saw ducks.
Shortly thereafter I heard the phantom duck quack behind me.
My hypothesis is that ducks are sensitive to the smell of beans. Thus the phantom mud duck sensed that I had consumed beans earlier in the day and followed me home from the dairy.
Since his breath does smell like the dairy lagoon I suspect that he has spent much time in the manure lagoon and thus comes from the dairy.
I think he is not really stalking me but rather has possibly imprinted on me but it quite shy or he could be an alien.
I do not know how he gets into the tractor cab with me but his loud quacks are startling at times.