The Useful Duck!

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Thursday, August 22, 2013

I create a fountain...

If only I would have taken a photo!
I was opening a field of baled wheat straw with the stacker yesterday when it was 91 degrees in the shade. The plan was to pick up the bales from around the risers for the buried mainline so I would not hit them in the dark.
When you are baling and stacking you are often at the mercy of the random wanderings of the combine driver. Combine drivers rarely seem to drive in any sort of straight or coherent pattern.
We are baling a 60 acre field that is sort of kidney shaped with a buried mainline across the short waist of the field. There are risers every sixty feet I think.
The combine operator made the field into four circles broken up by back and forth rows. The field was farmed in circles and planted wet.
The combine operator took special delight in going across the planted rows. This makes the field so rough I have to stack in first gear and it still bounces the tie layers apart.
So I was looking at the round section of wheat that looked like where a riser should be and I heard a pop and I looked behind me to see a fountain of water shooting up thought the space in the middle of the stacker bed...
I called the field owner and attempted to understand his cryptic instructions on where the pump was located. Finally I decided (though my incredible powers of deduction) that it had to be next to the river so I drove along the river until I found a promising side road. I was sort of hoping for nekked hippie chicks bathing in the river but alas it was not to be so. (Naked hippie chicks are ok to watch, it is like National Geographic)
Soon the hispanic worker arrived. He said it was ok, his boss had ran over three risers this year but not to tell anyone. (So I put it in my blog). He also said that the combine had ran over the riser already and cut off the pipe that marks the riser so I should not feel bad about it.
My little helper found quite a bit of amusement out of my misfortune. I think I will tell everyone he did it.
In other excitement, the phone rang all day.
I'm not sure why so many people have decided to bale straw this year. However, I have an additional 100 acres of oat straw to stack at probably one stack per acre and half of it is 20 miles away.
I have an additional 60 acres of oat straw to bale for myself, an extra 60 of wheat straw to bale for someone else and I'm only going to get 5,000 out of the needed 8,000 little bales made as I'm out of wheat straw.
And my phone just chimed, $1.2 million says it is my little helper calling in sick... He looked sick yesterday and I told him to just sleep in or take the day off today. He said he would be fine. But I say differently... Ok going to check the phone in 3... 2... 1...
The text says, "Im really sick,"
Sort of expected that...
Now you all owe me 1.2 million dollars


  1. Stop being such a nice guy. Yell at the owner for slowing your work down, costing you time & money by not marking his risers better. He knows you are right, he's hit them too. And have him ride along to see the grief that the combine driver has caused you. Efficiency is the answer to a lot of problems.
    Next year may be better there.
    Free advise worth at least 1.2 million bucks.

  2. Or we could rent the farm out to one of those clever new mega-farmers and I could become a janitor.

    1. Somehow, I don't think you'd be happy as a janitor...

  3. We once had to stack a field of bales with tram lines so deep (it was a wet year) that it started to shake the tractor in two.


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