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Monday, May 5, 2014

My new chicken feed advert for the Portland Market


Chicken Feed Produced by the imaginary collective Which is much better than a Real Collective because we don't really collect things...

Boycott the industrial agricultural complex! Buy working class feed from the local oppressed peasant class. 
We have the best feed for non-bourgeoisie chickens. It contains representative samples from locally raised grain. Wheat, Oats, Barley, Peas, flax and Camelina are all represented according to their nutritional value.
Flax and Camelina are essential grains as the seeds came from our brothers in the struggle against the running dogs of capitalist greed. These seeds were provided by workers in the Czechoslovak Socialist Republic. They are high in Omega 3 fatty acids which will cleanse your system of sedentary bourgeoisie influences.
Feed this in a free choice manner. The Collective of Chickens will utilize it accord to their need.
There are no contaminants from the greedy capitalist corporations who are poisoning the proletariat with Genetically Modified seeds.
We are asking for a simple donation of ten dollars for one reusable bucket that will not weigh less than 15 kg.
This money will go to provide for the re-education of brother and sister workers into the glorious local socialist collective.
Large jugs of Vodka will also be accepted...
For more information please contact...

5 comments:

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  2. Pretty good deal for those designer chickens found only in the Portland collective. Not too many working class birds in PDX. When up there I often flip them a bird. Chicken food grade bucket included? (available free at your local bakery, but don't tell anybody or it will start a run on them)

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  4. Now if you offer free shipping, like ebay. Or I guess you could go with the "If it fits, it ships" boxes, Possibly in a gift box, for designer chickens?

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  5. not only is this my favorite site for news - now its my favorite site for advertising. i think you'll make millions. out here, tho, in any of my farm-related craigslist ads, i have to include the disclaimer, "No hipsters." but that wouldnt work for your clientele.... so maybe "only hipsters and their chickens?"

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