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Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Blue Goat

I want to like The Blue Goat.
It looks cool. 
There is natural wood, funky old stuff from the weird antique store next door, and there are exposed brick walls. 
But the true feature a huge Adobe brick oven.
It is a little expensive for us to go to on a regular basis but when some friends wanted us to go to dinner with them at the infamous Blue Goat, we decided to give it another try.
We went with a sense of humor.
You have to realize that most of us in Amity are not that far removed from working in the woods, or farming, or stealing hubcaps-and so this whole upscale wine thing is a bit of a stretch. It has given us the phenomenon of the nouvea -wine snob. (Easily recognized by his short pants, baseball hat, and funky sandals.) In comparison to the traditional local wine snob of the 1970's who had long hair, short pants, and funky sandals.
After all, the well respected Amity wine tasting room is owned by a fellow with a vacuum truck business. I am sure he changes his shoes after sucking out a clogged sewer. Not to be mean, he is a really nice guy, but it is kind of funny.
But, I digress.
The last time tried the Blue Goat I was not that impressed, but it had not been open very long and I had met the owners who are great people. They were very nice and they try really hard. They also did a huge amount of work to the building. So, I did not mention the name in my little blog because I didn't want anyone to find it in a keyword search and because I didn't want to be negative.
But, someone is going to have to break the news to them.
As in telling them that you can't run out of food on a Friday night, or a least not every Friday night.
Or that while atmosphere is great... if you have the most awesome and amazing adobe oven-made by a guy named Kiko, you should make better use of it.
The idea that your pizza of the evening would have pear sauce, bleu cheese, and swiss chard and you would say this with a totally straight face must be backed up with something, like really good service and complete professionalism, or well, I don't know... Banjo music?
We came in at 7 p.m. on a Friday night. We slunk past Ashes Cafe as we were kind of worried the owner would be offended by our disloyalty. Ashes was empty and the Blue Goat was full. We shared a table with some other folks who were well into a bottle of wine and were quite happy.
I have discovered that I can't pick out voices well in a big noisy room, and my good friend has discovered that he can't see very well. Fortunately, the daughter was there to help as she could see the menu and could hear what he wanted to read. I just smiled a lot and nodded my head. My wife and his mother kept up a cheerful banter on the other side of the table. His mom wanted potatoes and none of the entrees had potatoes. This started off the humor as there was some jokes at his mother's expense.
We questioned exactly what the cranberry beans were and the waiter didn't know either. But, he brought us a jar full to show what they were. They were in fact beans.
Drinks were ordered, I opted for the fresh Amity water as I figure there is enough flow in the Yamhill to replace the sewer flavor with the taste of mud and chlorine. The daughter asked for Sprite but they were out and so offered her a Pear flavored spritzer instead. She was not impressed.
They were out of the chicken entree and had only one beef medallion dinner left but they could expand the pork bellies and okra side to make it a dinner. I went for that, and the daughter ordered the cheese noodles without the cheese. My wife ordered the clams, my friend ordered the beef, his mom opted for the pork but insisted they find her some potatoes. They did find her potatoes and they were good.
The pork bellies and okra were good. They would have been better with a big slab of BBQ beef at Busters, and perhaps some baked beans, coleslaw and potatoe salad, but we were not at Busters so I just smiled and figured we would go to Ashes for homemade pie afterward. But only if the Goat was out of the chocolate cake. 
They were out of the chocolate cake...
When the server came back to tell us they were out of half the things we ordered, I bet my daughter $5 they would forget and put the cheese on her noodles. I have eaten in Amity many times, and in all the incarnations of the Amity Cafe, and I knew what to expect. I won the $5.
The server also came back to say they were out of beef  but they did have a sirloin or something in the freezer and could have it thawed out in 10 minutes. We just smiled about that one. He decided to have the pear sauce pizza instead. Somewhat as a joke.
My wife's clams were wonderful, perhaps a little salty. They did have chorizo on them. I did not order them as I figured that chorizo sausage on clams would be pretty disgusting. I was wrong.
The pear pizza was not bad. It was more like a dessert in my opinion. It would have been good with coffee. More of a novelty dish than fine dining.
My expanded pork belly dinner had three extra chunks of pork loin. Yes, I counted them. It was good but it was kind of funny.
And that in short is the problem with the restaurant.
It is kind of a joke.
I don't go out for dinner to a semi nice restaurant all that often. When I do, I am used to looking at the menu and seeing a whole list of things that sound wonderful and wondering which one I can afford.
It is funny to look at a menu and have to work hard to find one thing that sounds good.
I suppose that with enough glasses of over-priced wine, anything is fine, but that is not how I like to enjoy food.
So.... Taking into consideration that the Blue Goat has as it's conceit, local and organic style ingredients...
What about a nice Chicago style pizza? It could, not have anything made from pears, (although local pears would make a wonderful dessert), instead perhaps, some local farm grown sausage (Italian style and not Chorizo) and local cheese and local tomatoes. It could be simple and they have the oven to make it awesome.
They could make their own pita bread right there in the oven. The customer could watch the amazing bubble form in the dough and it could be stuffed it with local ingredients that did not include pears.
Early in the day, they could make their own bread and that would add to any meal.
If I were picky I'd ask for some sound deadening acoustic tiles in the ceiling, but that could even work to their advantage. They could find a long-haired band to play jazz in one corner. Or perhaps, if they would serve more pork bellies, the Flying Pig Fiddle and Banjo folks would come by on a fall evening, and they could have some hootin' and hollarin' on a Saturday night. I like to think I have a special inside track with those folks and I'd put in a word...
We did have a good time but I hate to pay $100 for an unintentional comedy show. After all, we could just drive down to our field on the edge of town and watch the moronic Amity police department chase down folks to tell them their license plate light is out-and then not give them a ticket.

Later additions: I did an internet search for The Blue Goat, Amity and I found this review. I will say that it is a nice review. Many of the correct and meaningless terms that all food and wine reviewers have made up are put to good use. But, he did not have the Pear sauce pizza.
He also starts by noting that the Blue goat is located next to "an eclectic antique store on the main drag." That is pretty funny.
I would be tempted to say, "located between the two strange and crazy antique stores on Amity's recently revamped main street, as in right between the crazy guy who stands in front of his antique store and yells at people who park incorrectly. He actually uses a megaphone! And the crazy guy who sits out in front of his antique store in the rain and chain smokes while reading "Strong Arm," Westerns..."
As for the food, he says he had the "house salad - refreshingly new mixture of large-leafed exotic mixed greens with just enough of a light, subtle dressing to accentuate the individual flavors and textures of each of the greens." Ok, now was that the Collards, Okra, and Spinach with pear sauce? Not that there is anything wrong with that. It would be good. I'm just saying....
Anyway, those of you who are local should try it. I know from my statistics that I've had 25 hits in two days from Onlinemac so there has got to be someone I know reading this blog. Or that Muddyvalley fellow has a heck of a nervous tic!

And a video on YouTube- of the oven.

And all the local hipsters think it is pretty hepcat or the bee's knees or whatever they say nowadays. (photos) oops, I'm wrong,  local bicyclists. Gosh, I love bicyclists. Probably were on their way past our house.

16 comments:

  1. Nope! Not with Onlinemac.
    I knew there was something I liked about you!
    You have missed "your calling"! This post pushes the Edge off the page. The edge is all copy we've already read anyway, gleaned from the net . This should get you a job with any of the major publications assuming the editors can read. Send them the copy!

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  2. PS. The reviewer you found above, also reviewed the local McDonalds. If it tells you anything. He was upset that the fries had become shorter and had to "cram eight of them into my mouth to get the same sensation"

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  3. MuddyValley, you like me? The Edge? The guitarist for U-2 who can't actually play a guitar and does samples before a show on the computer?

    Did you read the guy's review for his cycling class, I quote, "Perfect blend of energizing music spanning multiple genres combined with instructor's encouraging "go! go! go!" made the workout fun."
    Now that is funny, The bicycle guy had KBOO on which played Pink Floyd, The Irish Rovers, and Dread Zeppelin, and well he kind of had to do something encouraging so I guess shouting "go! go! go!" was a good option. I sure hope he said, "good hustle" afterward cause that really makes the practice worthwhile for me!

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  4. A comedy club/restaurant where performance art and food preparation meet! Why didn't I think of that?

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  5. He didn't say anything about getting his bike stuck in the mud during class. A regular feature of yours involving a tractor that never ceases to amuse me (though perhaps not you)and much better exercise in the long run.
    Gorges: I believe having food to prepare is a prerequisite of food preparation.

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  6. Budde, you have a unique style of writing, it was almost like I was there in the restaurant with you. And pear sauce pizza does sound a little strange but there was a time when I even had misgivings about pineapple on pizza. Nowadays while I may not request it, I will certianly not send it back to the kitchen to have the pineapple removed.

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  7. Gorges, I think it is intentional vs unintentional that is the key!

    MuddyV, I'm not sure the fellow is a native. Today he would have to bike with pontoons!

    Ralph, Thanks, should you ever be within a couple hundred miles you could be in the restaurant with me and you could try pear sauce and okra for yourself! I like pineapple on pizza fine but I find BBQ sauce and chicken kind of disgusting.

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  8. mmmm sounds like a good McDonald's promotion. LOL

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  9. I think I would compose the Ballad of the Blue Goat if they would give me a taste of that pizza to stop...

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  10. The pear pizza may be a little weird for some, myself included, but it's not like it doesn't change weekly. What do you have against Chorizo? It is made with locally farmed meat and it's actually made in house. Also, they do bake all their own bread, you obviously just didn't have any. And I love your comment about the local tomatoes they could have on the pizza...really it's winter! If it's not your style that's fine, it's pretty obvious by your mention of Busters BBQ and all the fixin's you can get there, your standards are not that high. And while it is true that the community is pretty blue collar, it is the hard work of all the local farms and ranches that are being used to create this food. Not getting good service is one thing, but calling the whole place and the whole menu a joke is unfair. They make almost everything from scratch right there. A far cry from the Ashes Cafe you are unabashedly loyal to.

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  11. "Local Hipsters!!" That's awesome. That's almost as good as being a "media type!" (My previous favorite label-by-a-stranger)

    I liked it. The $3 empenadas were really good. The beer was good. The $7 pizza was good, but could have been more bountiful.

    I agree with you - they should make their own bread.

    Philip

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  12. Philip, So are you coming with us on our bicycle trip? (see BG not-revisited) It may be imaginary but it would be amusing!

    Ok I was wrong! They make their own bread they just don't put out enough of it unless you ask. I want to try the empendas.

    I think I sent you some visitors, could you tell?

    Like your site and your artwork. I kind of object to the use of antique ear phones on objects of art. I suppose it is better than keeping them in a drawer like I do. At least they are being seen.

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  13. Oh, buddy how we have missed your columns over the years. I still revel over past issues of The Daily Strumpet. It is good to see you back in print. After visiting the The Blue Goat myself I found your observations to be quite an accurate. I love the description of their "Scantily Clad Pizza". I had a quite different pizza when I ordered it. Mine had potatoes and 2 pieces of onion and not much else. Good flavor and all, but potatoes? That's where your friends mothers potatoes went. My friend thinks the phenomenon of the the Emperors New Clothes is going on in Amity right now. Every one is raving about something that is really not there, namely "food on a Friday night". Do those skinny restaurateurs not know that the folks in Amity food that they can recognize and larger portions. My salad that came on my plate consisted of 5 very small pieces of lettuce, 3 or which were radicchio. Yes, those are bitter leaves. So that left me with 2 leaves on my plate that were edible to my taste. I think they have great potential. But someone should tell the emperor that he has no clothes.

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  14. Wow, rough crowd....I persoanlly loved the blue goat....thought the food was great, have been back several times, the food always changes...etc.

    i am sure they aren't depressed to lose you as a customer.

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  15. I eat two to three times a week at Ashes Cafe and quite loyal.. love the the feel of family but late on a Sunday night my son wanted to try the Blue Goat and we stopped in
    to get a pizza to go...but they didn't have any to go containers...so sorry no pizza! I myself haven't been back, I have sat enough "school" chairs. I figure they get enough business from News Register staff!

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  16. Anonymous #1-I find it kind of interesting that Blue Goat lovers feel compelled to post in defense. You do realize every time The Blue Goat is mentioned in this blog, the higher it is ranked in Google Search engines. So...Every time you complain about my two month old review of THE BLUE GOAT, AMITY in which my biggest complaint was that they ran out of food, more people will see the one slightly negative review of THE BLUE GOAT, AMITY OR. Just so you know...
    I would imagine they have gotten much better at predicting how much food to prepare in advance.
    AND, I am not an ex customer. I would go there again. They are not that expensive for a semi-high brow place. Although, I sure hope you tipped extra thinking they had lost a customer.
    However, if I go and they are out of chocolate cake again I am going to complain.

    Anonymous #2 "I figure they get enough business from the News Register staff!" Funny! I think they should expand their pizza selection for us low brows. Kind of like a non-greasy Abbey's or thin crust like 3rd Street. But, make it more gourmet perhaps. I suppose that will not happen.

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