The Useful Duck!

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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

It is my well-considered opinion that the City of A---y is run by Morons!

I am happy to note that the City has in fact recognized that is it run by morons maroons by incorporating the color maroon into their new logo. They should have also incorporated a radar gun and the Three Stoodges but that I suppose in another story.
I say this because on my way back from dropping my daughter off at the indoctrination center I see construction on the only remaining business block in town. I would be a goatburger or a piece of rhubarb pie or a piece of greasy pizza (covered the main business-oh forgot, a pocket pint of ole' grandad.. now we are covered) that what ever they are doing will result in less parking and more difficulty in moving anything but a Smart Car through town.
Locals accuse the city manager of being a dip---t but I say he is using his college degree in an affective manner. He is keeping himself busy. Of course just about everything the city does is idiotic and counter productive but that is the new face of the good old USA. No one actually has to do real work for their living so nobody knows how anything works.
So we will get pedestrian islands and probably a tree or two. I bet money that if they could figure out how to put in a round-a-bout they would do that too.
What they will not do...
1. Streetside parking
2. Fill the potholes lining the shoulders of the four main roads running through the Amity City limits so you could park without getting stuck. AND if you are moving wide implements you can pull onto the shoulder without bouncing three feet in the air.
I am starting to care less and less. I think I will adopt the big farmer attitude of taking my half out of the center and just driving. I've got flashers, I'm legal, screw it!

Edit: I sometimes forget about search engines and google rankings and so I removed the city name from the title. I'm kind of busy and don't really have time to argue with anyone on blogger...


  1. Yeah, Budd, but ya didn't remove it from the last paragraph. (Or was that a Freudian slip?)

  2. Gorges, I didn't say I was competent...

    The guy putting out the cones said they were putting in drains so perhaps parking will not be assaulted. Perhaps...

  3. Just take the center of the road! From the Amn*ty website: "The construction of the Amity Downtown Improvement Project (Phase 2A) is ready to begin! This portion of the project is to improve the city’s storm system further along Trade Street. You should expect delays on Trade Street during September, as there will be times that a lane closure will be required. This portion of the project should be completed by the end of this month. The second portion of this phase is sidewalk improvements (Phase 2B), which will improve sidewalks along Trade Street up to 4th Street (Chevron) and Maddox Ave., (City Hall). The city anticipates awarding the sidewalk improvements project in October or November 2011, with the work being completed no later than July 1, 2012."

  4. Me....I loved the first day, the crew was done at 11:30AM but forgot to tell the businesses that rely on customer to survive so they could
    turn the cones around and have
    1:30PM, the pie cafe figured it out and moved
    the to love progress pretty soon
    A...y will look like B....ton. Remember when
    it was a real town too!


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