Illness and suffering update #5

I did not get the Harvard-China virus. Yet...

Using my skills at Bias Conformation which I learned though eight years of observation at the University, I think I can say with confidence that Kirkland Signature Tonic Water, high doses of Farmer Dave's Hemp Tonic, and fizzy vitamin C prevented me from getting the WuFlu.

The lovely and gracious Mrs. Shepherd is essentially well. She has lingering congestion but I made a trip into town to get her the  good Sudafed. This is kept behind the counter and you have to provide your identification to get it. You can't have people making meth out of Sudafed, it cuts into the profits of the cartels.

The young pharmacist girl had a 1975 Chevy lowrider tattoo on her forearm and the ubiquitous nose ring. I didn't comment as I hate to promote body disfigurement on young women.

But I digress,

I suspect I nearly got the engineered virus. I have been very sore. Partially, because I have been walking without crutches and trying to increase my linear distance traveled from feet to years to fractions of a mile. Probably also because I am fight off a virus strain someone created to sell vaccine and medical treatments.

I mean, why is that not a completely valid conspiracy theory? Why would there not be an incentive to make a virus and a vaccination? Sound business plan. Similar to local glass shop investing in bricks. Of course things went wrong, because there is always a flaw in someone's evil plan...