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Thursday, February 27, 2014

Why I hate cats part IIIIVXI

I'm setting on the couch eating my lunch of leftover Chinese food (i think) and the highly neurotic cat that my wife rescued from somewhere wants attention.
I ignore him which of course means he thinks I like him, (because he is a cat...)
He perches on the back of the couch.
I return to my noodles.
Suddenly he starts retching and jumps down to the carpet.
I realize he is about to puke at boot him on to the fakehardwood flooring.
This horrendous act which would undoubtedly violate the WMS zero-tolerance policy, if anyone actually knew what it was, (including the board of directors and the fundraiser turned administrator) caused Krazy Kat to panic and he ran for his favorite corner, puking all the way.
I started for the closet to get the Mossberg 500 but thought about the kind and caring souls in the family who would perhaps be very unhappy with that course of action and instead got the beach wipes.
Instead of suffocating the cat with the bleach wipe, I cleaned up the puke. Nearly puking up my chinese food in the process. I guess that would have been cat meeting cat.
Now that dadburned creature wants to snuggle.
I am going back to work.


  1. Varmit hunting indoors with a shotgun is never a good idea. Chase it out first, it's also more sporting.

  2. I do like cats and have a good business arrangement with them. They control the mice on the farm and I dispense cat food and shoot the odd marauding coyote and raccoon that might threaten their existence.

    1. That is what cats are for. Well, other than Chinese food.

  3. There's a REASON that witches and cats are linked. I don't know what it is, but I'm SURE there's a reason!

  4. Cats are evil; no two ways about it. I say that as a cat person, I "own" a cat. They're just evil. There was an article in the paper about how dogs aren't really ashamed, they're just faking it? Well, cats don't even fake it.

    1. My daughter's cat steals the dogs bed. The dog is 110lb Great Dane mix. He is not allowed to bite the cat. So he goes off and pouts. The cat knows this annoys the dog and does it on purpose.

  5. I recall a Rem 870 and a cat , best not recall it

  6. Interesting comment I read lately that might apply to me..... Cats have nine lives, their owners have none.

  7. Eating Chinese food in front of the cat, no wonder it made it sick!


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