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Saturday, April 26, 2014

My daily devotional

Family Devotions are difficult for me. I'm just not the well disciplined and organized father figure type. I also never know what to read. The Old Testament is full of death and dismemberment and the New Testament has some great stuff like the whole water into wine deal and loaves and fishes, but what was that kid thinking by not bringing any cookies? Bread and fish? Could have at least brought along a fruit roll-up...
And then I start going off on weird stuff like the importance of cultural mythology and my irritation that  the strict Biblicists focus on an absolutely historically accurate Bible and miss all the great object lesson of the Old Testament.
Take the Tower of Babel for instance, the doubters pass it off as a myth explaining the differences of languages, and the Biblicists keep looking for the tower, and I say.... It is a really important story in an age where we put all our faith in technology and information processing and go off on analogies towards the internet and the Titanic and mankind thinking we are our own gods and how we all get knocked down to size from time to time, and then i see the kid's eyes glaze over...
But I digress...
My daughter and I were reading Proverbs last month. And I missed several great verses which could be misappropriated. Sort of like, "Let him that stole steal, no more working with his hands," Ephesians 4:28.
She has a new Bible app on her iPhone that lets her search for scriptures. Of course I had her look up the phrase "pisseth against the wall," and much hilarity ensued.
And that is the real problem I have as a father. My mental age is stuck around grade 7.
When I was a lad by Uncle expounded the scriptures to me. I teach my child and nephews silly Bible jokes and stupid songs, As in, "at the bar/ at the bar/ where I smoked my first cigar/ and the billows of smoke rolled away/ it was there by chance that I tore my Sunday pants/and now I have to wear them every day.
So I was somewhat ashamed that it took Gorges to remind me of an important couple verses which I skimmed right over.
My thoughts for today came be summed up by Proverbs 31:6-7
Thanks Gorges... 
I'm afraid when this voyage is over the Admiral is going to be a little dry...


  1. Relax. I teach grade 8 and if you are stuck in grade 7 you are years ahead of what I deal with.

    Also, one of my favorite hymn titles was "Lead on, O Kinky Turtle."

    Grace and peace

  2. Too many kids here and abroad are brought up under humorless interpretations. And taught not to question. Your daughter and nephews are fortunate.

  3. i'm pretty sure that Jesus was hilarious... or at least i hope. i'm stuck at about a 4th grade boy level of maturity so you know... at least you are ahead of me.
    OFG, doesnt piss against the wall.... normally.

  4. Gosh, Budd, I'm glad I was of so much spiritual help in your time of need!

    Ohio Farm Girl, for some reason, your comment reminded me of something that I read in Mother Earth News many years ago. A fellow had found out that he could keep possums from returning to his chicken house by peeing on them when they played dead. He said they came to, looked really disgusted and waddled off. He DID advise women and children not to use the method, as their aiming devices might not be up to the task.

    1. that is extremely amazing George. i usually just get the dog to take care of varmints. it is the truth that our scariest dog, The Black Death as he is known, will routinely run something (or someone) off... and then pee in its direction. i see that he will be doubly effective for possums. i tell you what, i learn so much on this site. thank you, friend.

  5. I couldn't get your link to work for Proverbs 31:6-7. Probably some kind of left wing censorship. However, I looked it up. I'll bring a bottle over. Would that be beer, or wine?


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