I'm setting on the couch eating my lunch of leftover Chinese food (i think) and the highly neurotic cat that my wife rescued from somewhere wants attention.
I ignore him which of course means he thinks I like him, (because he is a cat...)
He perches on the back of the couch.
I return to my noodles.
Suddenly he starts retching and jumps down to the carpet.
I realize he is about to puke at boot him on to the fakehardwood flooring.
This horrendous act which would undoubtedly violate the WMS zero-tolerance policy, if anyone actually knew what it was, (including the board of directors and the fundraiser turned administrator) caused Krazy Kat to panic and he ran for his favorite corner, puking all the way.
I started for the closet to get the Mossberg 500 but thought about the kind and caring souls in the family who would perhaps be very unhappy with that course of action and instead got the beach wipes.
Instead of suffocating the cat with the bleach wipe, I cleaned up the puke. Nearly puking up my chinese food in the process. I guess that would have been cat meeting cat.
Now that dadburned creature wants to snuggle.
I am going back to work.
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