The Useful Duck!

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Friday, April 10, 2015

I can't help myself and post anther rambling blog post full of misspellings and grammatical errors which doesn't make a lick of sense...

Ok, some conspiracies are just too good to keep to myself.
Someone should call Lars with this one today. Other than I think Lars is kind of a Moron. He would probably think you were disagreeing with him and speak slowly and give an inane example to prove his irrelevant point, and then when you get really frustrated with his stupidity, hang up on you, leaving me (once again) sitting on the tractor sputtering, "BUT HE WAS ON YOUR SIDE...."
But, I digress...
So a couple neighbors were in the store here yesterday (I wasn't actually there but heard about it).
One of the neighbors has been on vacation in Hawaii where he spent time in a hot tub or pool with a longshoreman and discussed the strike at the Port of Portland.
I think they may have even splashed each other. I'm a little worried that the next time this guy asks me to plant for him I will instead have to bake him a cake or provide flowers. 
But, I digress once more....
The other neighbor who has vast experience with conspiracies then spoke up.
His theory is as follows:
New Supertankers are coming into service.
The Supertankers require deeper channels.
The Supertankers are better adapted to fewer but larger ports.
Shipping companies don't want to go up the Columbia to Portland it is a pain in the butt.
The Columbia may have to be dredged to accept Supertankers.
Environmentalists hate dredging.
Environmentalists want the dams on the Columbia removed. 
With no major port in Portland then several of the dams would no longer be needed.
The Supertankers are moving to California and Seattle.
This consolidates shipping which makes shipping companies happy.
And then I forgot several key points cause I got distracted by a pretty bird or a hay customer....booze
But, he tied it all together by noting that Environmentalists, The Feds, Leadership in several states, the Labor Unions, are all either democrats and buddies or lame-arsed Republicans and buddies and it has been shown that labor unions are pretty corrupt, that government agents have been used to coordinate protests in the past and that many people in authority could benefit from the Port of Portland being shut down.
I sure wish I hadn't forgot half the story. Oh well... I think Aliens were involved. I wasn't wearing my hat. 
And now,
I'm off to load a truck of straw that will go to Washington. No conspiracies there...
My little helper got a new job...
I have some issues with people who have been praying for me. If you are going to pray for me, pray specifically that I get 1.2 million dollars without anyone dying in a industrial accident or complications in my life or nearby lives. While some difficult decisions were resolved for me, and I blame that on the prayers of Ed Winkle and Gorges Grouse and that tractor collector guy that calls me periodically to see how my mental state is doing, the result is that I will have to work my lazy arse off this summer and I have other things to do rather than work. 
I have a good fishing pole, I have a new (new to me is 1984) motorcycle, I accidently bought my daughter a really cool birthday present on ebay while waiting in line to get fertilizer which will bring house of enjoyment and tramping through the woods carving CROATON on trees, I have new record albums to evaluate, in SHORT I do not want to work, I do not have any way to combine extra acres, I want to move to Florida, I.... I.... I.... 
need more coffee.... Wish someone would load this truck for me...
something is eating the leaves off all the peas I planted...
To put it in terms for the Lars Larson Show:
Laziness= Good
NOW STOP ARGUING WITH ME, it is my blog!


  1. Don't worry, Budd; I don't pray for you THAT often! lol

  2. Like most conspiracy theories it sounds pretty possible to me. I'm having a hard time getting motivated for spring planting here. Fighting the mud and ridiculous input prices to try and grow crops that are diseased, low priced, hard to sell even at low prices. ..... Working on rusty old cars is much more satisfying.

  3. what is it with you and hot tubs? always something going on there... could be conspiracies. dunno.

  4. Nonetheless, the elk are on the hill above the barn right now. Just means more food for them.


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