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Monday, May 4, 2015

I hate farming part 8

I've been busy the last few days. I am supposed to be chopping silage and no-till something like 200 acres of Fescue all at the same time.
ButI realized this evening the world needs my happy contrast to those, "Don't complain with your mouthful," and "Everyday is Earthday for Farmers," and "My other car is a Ford Pinto," bumper stickers.
Actually having a Ford Pinto bumper sticker has nothing do with what I'm saying I just like the bumper sticker...
I mean, every other farmer is happy and making loads of money and their wives are writing blogs about the wonders of "family farming" 5,000 acres and making money hand-over-fist cause well, they are just wonderful folks.
Shouldn't there be a contrast? A grumpy broke farmer who breaks everything and gets stuck in the dark while listening to Clide Lewis talk about flying saucers and blogs using a iPhone that doesn't work quite right because he has anger management issues and tends to throw it as hard as he can when he gets five calls in a row from the same person.
But I digress...
I realized the world could not live without hearing of my misadventures when I started up the Moline G1355 we use for mowing (after having it apart in the shop for most of the winter) and the alternator exploded into flames. I admit I just watched it for a while having never see this happen before. It was blazing away like a little jet engine. Apparently the cooling fan in the alternator does do something.
I bet this has never happened to you before...and yet, it happened to me.
Today I spent some time with the fellow I'm planting for. He told me I did a good job, paid attention to details, and he was happy to have me work for him.
Great news...
I am almost sure I planted the first field too deep, the second too shallow, I think I skipped a spot but I can't figure out where, I think I got the seed rate off (which is really bad considering I'm only planting three pounds of fescue seed per acre) and I capped off the evening by burying the tractor and drill in his field.
I drove right into the wet spot whilst staring intently at my marker furrow which I could hardly see as the headlights are really bright but cast no shadows. Suddenly I saw water filled ruts and I cranked the wheel. But, it was too late.
I had to walk, I hate walking.
I was going to unhook the drill and pull it out sideways but I gave one tug on the hydraulic hoses and realized that I since I messed up my back Sunday, unhooking hydraulic hoses has come to be a challenge.
I was just helping a nice horse lady out on Sunday as I'm sure her horse was starving and she broke her leg and she always says please and thank you and has big boobs such a nice smile. So I wedged two bales in the back of her Ford Bronco and I twisted wrong and well, I can't actually lift a 50b bag of seed with my right hand. Made loading the drill interesting today.
And then there was my failed attempt to finally weld the hooks on MuddyValley's loader tractor. I started up the welder before I was going to leave and discovered that there was a hole in the oil filter...
Really... How many times has that happened to you?
I hate farming....


  1. Me too. Well actually I just hate mud and too much water. Stuck once myself on the weekend and then a 21 mile round trip with the tractor to pull out a stuck anhydrous truck yesterday. I should to a blog post. I should be working. Its going to rain tomorrow......

  2. I had an oil filled ignition coil burst into flames on my IH low boy, but that's not as depressing. It actually meant I didn't have to mow that day.

    1. The alternator fire was pretty cool. It shot flames!

  3. I was the Ace of Stuck, the Grand Pooh Bah of Buried in the days before I'd gone to enough farm auctions to fit all the WD-45's with wide fronts. Tricycle gear tractors will find the bottom of heavy dew.

  4. Remember having some hours of amusement the day I busted a wide front clean off a 45 coming too fast across alfalfa ground where hogs had been rooting. Haven't lit any tractor parts on fire. Yet.

    1. Ah the joys of old style farming! You should have seen the monster tractor that pulled me out. Gigantic tires, didn't even spin.
      That ain't workin'

  5. well i have been wondering where you were.... that was quite an update. yeah so. no tractor stories but i had a duck fly off, had to pull up about third of the kitchen floor due to that leak that was not the roof, and now we need replace the subfloor too. when the swearing was over i went out and found new goats! and then the air conditioning crapped out and now i'm hot and have to make meatballs. it's been a hell of a day.

  6. You make it sound all too easy , sigh , if only it was.......


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