The Useful Duck!

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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Impending doom

My daughter is sick.
My 94 year old father coughed on me for an hour last night while I resolved his computer conflicts. I would say the chances of me getting sick or better than me winning $25 at the casino.
Some poor sucker brought us a moisture tester to repair.
A year ago.
It came back and it seems to have been duly catalogued in Dad's computer but there was a problem. Dad couldn't read the hand written name. He thought it was Randy Wauker instead of Randy Walker. This proved to be a problem as he insisted in typing in Randy Wauker into the search function.
When that failed he started a new records under the names Randy Wauker, Randy Waucer, Randy Wanker, Ran ertyuhjnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn (he fell asleep on that one) and (strangely enough) Randy Walker.
He did not try typing in the phone number into the search function.
This was complicated by my Uncle who argued with him about it. I would relate the argument to you but I didn't understand the argument either. It had to do with how you spell "Walker."
I was going to help but got distracted by either someone who bought a John Blue Squeeze pump, someone who wanted hay, or some random farmer who wanted to visit.
Finally I was called in to solve the problem.
It was fortunately a simple problem.
I told Dad he had to go home and go to bed.
He did it.
I think he must be sick.
I suppose I am next.
I am not going to tell my communist neighbor. He will bring me more Wild Turkey and honey. It does taste faintly better than Nyquil but not much. Works very well for congestion. Not so good if you need to run a forklift. I'm not so sure about these home remedies.
Have a nice day!
I am more worried about my 94 year-old father's health than my own. He will get sick, than I get sick, then I give it back to him. It would be only right that I should retreat to Panama City Beach for the fortnight so that all may recover in peace.


  1. Similar issues here. Grand old Dad went into the emergency room looking like lead role in Zombie Road Kill Part III, doctor saying "Pneumonia is a dying person's best friend." Came out of hospital three days later back to himself, walking best he can and joking with the nurses.

    What's tougher than an old farmer who got into the game walking barefoot in a furrow behind horses?

    We're not likely going to be so hard to kill. Best grab the admiral and some juice, book for Panama City.

    1. Is it wrong to wish to not live to be 94?

    2. No matter what the Hobbs meter reads, when the AMA offers me longevity without dignity I hope I have enough pilot in command left to politely decline. There has to come a time when a man has played enough claw hammer banjo to recognize when it's time to leave annoying one's peers to the next generation.


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