The Useful Duck!

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Friday, January 1, 2010

2010 whoop! whoop!

I have no resolutions.
I have no funny stories this morning...
There were a lot of explosions last night.
I went to bed early. I have not missed a New Years in recent memory. My wife and I were going to babysit for her niece. My wife thought I needed to sleep and so left without me. I wrote stories on the computer  fairly late into the evening and then I threw them all away.
This morning it is raining and cold.
The duck hunters arrived shortly before dawn. They are merrily blasting away this morning. It is kind of a funny thing. I think the game regulation say you can't have more than three rounds in your gun. There is never a single shot however. One guy has an auto cause you can hear bang! bang! bang! as fast as he can pull the trigger-which is pretty fast by the way! So this is how it goes. Donald the Duck is flapping around looking for a morning snack. He sees one of the putt-putt duck decoys swimming around in the pond. He goes in for a closer look. This sparks a whole outcry of duck calls. It he is somehow confused by all the ducks yelling at him and turns in for his final approach. He is of course, met with a hail of gunfire. There is always two quick shots together, followed by one more, then two more together. I think there must be two guys shooting. The one guy is semi-auto and the other has a pump. Trigger happy boy shoots first with the auto and then Elmer Fudd joins in with the pump for two shots to Trigger boy's three. Oh wait! There was just two from the auto so I guess machine gun pete is on his own! Perhaps I will take out my old Lakeside side by side and blast some paint cans. Pant cans deserve to die! They are non-native species.
The day it snowed six inches the cousins had a nice sled run down the hill behind the house. Of course this lasted until the duck hunters drove down the road and ruined it. They certainly could not miss a day of shooting. Who knows what goes on down there in the duck ponds. Perhaps they will all go together and buy us a load of rock for the road they have ruined?
The Chief duckster has a new tractor. It is an 8N ford with an industrial loader and a blade. He graded the road. This consisted of dragging all the mud out of the ditch onto the road. Then, making drains for the ditches. The drains were dug through the access crossings into our fields. The access points to the fields were chosen because they are slightly uphill from the rest of the field. You have to dig down two feet to get the water to drain. He dug down a foot with the tractor bucket and deposited the dirt on the field side of the ditch. So now we have what is called a mess. He will expect us to be quite happy with his efforts.
This would also go for dragging the mud out of the ditches. True there is a lot of gravel in the mud and if you do drag this mud up onto the road it will pack down and raise the road. Unless you drive on it all winter. Then it becomes mush. He was unable to dam up half the grass field for sheet water this year as he is want to do. This is because last summer I took my little Eversman boxscraper and hauled about 8 loads out of the field and into my yard. It will take a cat to build that dike up again.
Of course the grass that we planted in the field is dead. Didn't make it through the summer.
I have no bitterness...
Perhaps I'll go get my new free truck. I can annoy folks on Highway 18 and I can bring more crap home to park in front of our farm! Wonder if it will make it all the way home.
2010 will be a banner year!!!

For future reference: This blog has been viewed 15,550 times in the last year and currently has 14 followers. If you discount the number of times I looked at it just to see if anyone else had looked that would be say 8,000 views. IF each of those folks would give me $1500 then I would  have made 1.2 million this year. Or is that $150? Hmm, public school education to blame once again. Heck, if each of those folks gave me $.05 I could probably buy lunch. Or perhaps just a kind word and a pat on the head. I would really feel like 1.2 million dollars. Oh my! I feel happy already!

An interesting story can be found here. The government tells you to do it and you do it and well... sometimes you can look back and sometimes you meet one of the others...

And someone-an ethnic Albanian (hmm what does that mean? Another one of those Dangerous White Christians who blow up abortion clinics almost everyday?)  shot some people in Finland. This is because Finland has less intrusive gun laws than the rest of Oceania or Eurasia or what country is it now... Oh right the EU.
Naturally there will be gun violence REPORTED around the world from Finland until they outlaw gun ownership and then there will be no gun violence reported at all. Most likely there will be mysterious lone gunman shootings happening until there is gun control legislation. This is a common tactic used to pass gun control legislation. The crazed gangs shooting at each other and everyone else with machine guns that will follow this legislation will be downplayed or used to bring in more restrictive legislation.
I see no conspiracy. I just noticed the pattern...

Oh, and this is really funny. This is why I liked George Bush the first time around. To bad he was "owned" I think he would have been a much better president left to his own devices...or at least more entertaining...
"In his parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, Bush managed to outdo himiself. "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter," he said, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock."
I think the above link is where I first read this. It is a funny site. There is a good photo to go with this story!

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