Someone found an ancient tome of poetry by Alfred Lord Tennyson. Tucked between the pages is a photo of a girl and a guy holding my epic cartoon work. Every toon I had ever drawn. The girl was wonderful but she had incredibly bad timing. Twice...
My daughter was having trouble sleeping and I was setting in the old Lazy-boy which has been banned to the "den." Which is really the master bedroom which has been devoted to my collection of books I never read, tin barns I never play with, hundreds of albums I never listen to, a broken Hi-Fi, and Johnny West. So, I was setting surrounded by evidence of my obsessions and getting ready to write a post for The Lazy Farmer. (don't look it up in the Urban Dictionary like someone else did-It is talking about the #$%^&*ing cartoon)
My daughter was a bit upset and I spied the crumbling volume of verse. I started with "Claribel." That one was about a dead girl in the grave yard... "Lilian" was better but a little freaky. We tried Kind Arthur but then Mom told us to go to bed.
Then she kept thinking about Claribel.
So, I gave up and lay in bed with her to help her sleep. We discussed was of thinking which would help you deal with boredom or help you sleep. I told her how I would build things in my mind or make up stories. She told me she visions her life as a circle. She is in the center and different things are around her. Bad things, scary things, good things, things she wants to remember and things she wants to forget. Her problem is they all get together in the center and it freaks her out.
I suggested she imagines moving each one to the out side of the circle.
Afterwards I realized I was attempting to pass on my ability to completely tune out the outside world and live in my own little imaginary shell. Not such I good idea?
Here is some Tennyson for you. We only got about half way through this one...
The Mermaid
By Alfred Lord Tennyson
I.
Who would be
A mermaid fair,
Singing alone,
Combing her hair
Under the sea,
In a golden curl
With a comb of pearl,
On a throne?
II.
I would be a mermaid fair;
I would sing to myself the whole of the day;
With a comb of pearl I would comb my hair;
And still as I comb'd I would sing and say,
"Who is it loves me? who loves not me?"
I would comb my hair till my ringlets would fall
Low adown, low adown,
From under my starry sea-bud crown
Low adown and around,
And I should look like a fountain of gold
Springing alone
With a shrill inner sound,
Over the throne
In the midst of the hall;
Till that great sea-snake under the sea
From his coiled sleeps in the central deeps
Would slowly trail himself sevenfold
Round the hall where I sate, and look in at the gate
With his large calm eyes for the love of me.
And all the mermen under the sea
Would feel their immortality
Die in their hearts for the love of me.
III.
But at night I would wander away, away,
I would fling on each side my low-flowing locks,
And lightly vault from the throne and play
With the mermen in and out of the rocks;
We would run to and fro, and hide and seek,
On the broad sea-wolds in the crimson shells,
Whose silvery spikes are nighest the sea.
But if any came near I would call, and shriek,
And adown the steep like a wave I would leap
From the diamond-ledges that jut from the dells;
For I would not be kiss'd by all who would list,
Of the bold merry mermen under the sea;
They would sue me, and woo me, and flatter me,
In the purple twilights under the sea;
But the king of them all would carry me,
Woo me, and win me, and marry me,
In the branching jaspers under the sea;
Then all the dry pied things that be
In the hueless mosses under the sea
Would curl round my silver feet silently,
All looking up for the love of me.
And if I should carol aloud, from aloft
All things that are forked, and horned, and soft
Would lean out from the hollow sphere of the sea,
All looking down for the love of me.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Random observations
I have a neighbor who wants me to plant. I think that the wheat will set in the cold ground till February and mold. It would be better to plant in February and then the ground would start to warm up.
I need to sell some 200 tons of hay and no one really wants to buy it. I will say that selling 200 tons, 5 bales at a time on Craigslist is a hard way to make a buck.
Our neighbor was going to clean some Meadow Foxtail seed for us but has now discovered he can't clean it. Instead of getting it moved out of his shed to the place that can clean it and wants to do it, he seems to be helping his girlfriend's brother cut up scrap metal to make money. So he has two semi-trucks and a sprayer, and a seed cleaner, (with seed to clean) and he is doing scrap metal? Many farmers are doing custom trucking and I there is a need for custom spraying as the clever folks at the local co-op have been contracting with a famous land stealer for spraying. Who parked in the Amity Mormon church parking lot on Sunday to spray our field and I felt compelled to apologize and now they will want me to cut their back lot for hay.
Pop culture, I was wondering how I got so many hits yesterday and was looking at what searches brought up The Lazy Farmer. Somehow I wandered across a much younger relative who is a more successful writer than I. Now, I do not want to hurt the feelings of any of my relatives but...
So you got to diss your small town upbringing which got you where you are today! The Oregon Metro area is not a small town. I've been to small towns in the middle of the Midwest and that is small town. Our area is a bedroom community of Portland. Most of the jobs in our county are government jobs. So, the place is full of those artsy high school kids that want to be black and live in New York. And the earnest young teachers who would love to have diversity in their classroom but haven't the balls for Harlem.
2. I'm sure you realize you don't have to believe everything you are taught but by just buying a line of political BS some moronic college professor tells you does not make you a free thinker. That college professor has been spouting the same line since 1968 and may never have had a real job in his life. Just cause it is different than what you heard at church doesn't make it anymore true than the teachings you rejected. He or she, is not talking the truth, rather the Professor is trying to gain self importance/worth by bringing you over to their team. It is how the gain prestige and self worth. Others of us work and support the leach with our tax dollars.
3. Going off on how rich white men rule the world is a good way to make it with the hipster journalism crowd but do you think you would have got the job if you were not female and skinny? What if you were fat? Do rich white men rule the world?
4. You are not black. It is funny to see a white chick write about rap music and love rap music but the whole black rap experience is not supposed to translate to white suburbia. Of course there are no old school rappers left, they are all dead. So I guess my point is lost. Popular rap music is written for white suburban kids by black suburban kids who are pretending to have lived on the streets. So, I guess I will just leave that one alone but it is pretty amusing. I didn't know Kayne West moved serious thinkers to anything but laughter. Kayne singing about suffering? Talking about George Bush? The Taylor Swift thing? Is he white? He is shrill and kind of feminine and I think Biggie Smalls would have kicked his girlish bottom.
5. I think it is great that you are writing and making a living from it. I guess I have to say that in today's market what ever angle you can use to sell copy is probably a good idea.
I need to sell some 200 tons of hay and no one really wants to buy it. I will say that selling 200 tons, 5 bales at a time on Craigslist is a hard way to make a buck.
Our neighbor was going to clean some Meadow Foxtail seed for us but has now discovered he can't clean it. Instead of getting it moved out of his shed to the place that can clean it and wants to do it, he seems to be helping his girlfriend's brother cut up scrap metal to make money. So he has two semi-trucks and a sprayer, and a seed cleaner, (with seed to clean) and he is doing scrap metal? Many farmers are doing custom trucking and I there is a need for custom spraying as the clever folks at the local co-op have been contracting with a famous land stealer for spraying. Who parked in the Amity Mormon church parking lot on Sunday to spray our field and I felt compelled to apologize and now they will want me to cut their back lot for hay.
Pop culture, I was wondering how I got so many hits yesterday and was looking at what searches brought up The Lazy Farmer. Somehow I wandered across a much younger relative who is a more successful writer than I. Now, I do not want to hurt the feelings of any of my relatives but...
So you got to diss your small town upbringing which got you where you are today! The Oregon Metro area is not a small town. I've been to small towns in the middle of the Midwest and that is small town. Our area is a bedroom community of Portland. Most of the jobs in our county are government jobs. So, the place is full of those artsy high school kids that want to be black and live in New York. And the earnest young teachers who would love to have diversity in their classroom but haven't the balls for Harlem.
2. I'm sure you realize you don't have to believe everything you are taught but by just buying a line of political BS some moronic college professor tells you does not make you a free thinker. That college professor has been spouting the same line since 1968 and may never have had a real job in his life. Just cause it is different than what you heard at church doesn't make it anymore true than the teachings you rejected. He or she, is not talking the truth, rather the Professor is trying to gain self importance/worth by bringing you over to their team. It is how the gain prestige and self worth. Others of us work and support the leach with our tax dollars.
3. Going off on how rich white men rule the world is a good way to make it with the hipster journalism crowd but do you think you would have got the job if you were not female and skinny? What if you were fat? Do rich white men rule the world?
4. You are not black. It is funny to see a white chick write about rap music and love rap music but the whole black rap experience is not supposed to translate to white suburbia. Of course there are no old school rappers left, they are all dead. So I guess my point is lost. Popular rap music is written for white suburban kids by black suburban kids who are pretending to have lived on the streets. So, I guess I will just leave that one alone but it is pretty amusing. I didn't know Kayne West moved serious thinkers to anything but laughter. Kayne singing about suffering? Talking about George Bush? The Taylor Swift thing? Is he white? He is shrill and kind of feminine and I think Biggie Smalls would have kicked his girlish bottom.
5. I think it is great that you are writing and making a living from it. I guess I have to say that in today's market what ever angle you can use to sell copy is probably a good idea.
Monday, December 6, 2010
I go to a birthday party and ramble on about obscure music that no one cares about anymore!
I just got home from attending a birthday party for a long time friend on mine. I can't believe I have known him for 20 some years. I can't believe 20 odd years have gone by so fast.
We became friends through the course of an interview. I was dispatched by the newspaper to interview him about his high school drag race team as they were a thorn in the side of the sports department.
I made an appointment to interview him one evening. When I arrived he told me his friend had just been killed when the asphalt tank we was working on exploded and he really didn't feel like talking about car racing but he would appreciate it if I stayed and had a couple Henry's with him. Somewhere I wrote down the interesting stories he told me that evening that did not have anything to do with the high school drag race team. I don't know where that little notebook went.
It was different back then. I thought that life kind of opened up ahead of you and you followed what came next. With that strange sort of beatnik idea in my head I quit my job and went to Costa Rica with him the next year, but did NOT take the internship offered me by Hot Rod Magazine but rather decided to help out of the farm for a summer.
It was interesting to sit around with those people from 20 some years ago and look where they went and where I am.
I met my friend's girl friend who is quite nice and her daughter who is a year younger than mine. She can wiggle her nose very nicely and she hid a piece of peanut butter cake for her dog. I did not tell on her.
I had a nice chat with my friend's daughter (who is also my friend) and who I have not seen for quite a few years.
I also discovered that I can no longer pick individual voices out of a crowded room and so I suppose I'm going to go deaf sooner than later. I smiled and nodded a lot.
I was going to spend the night if invited, and had an overnight bag packed but decided to go home. The whole thing kind of set me back a bit.
My brother loaned me a flash drive full of music. I listened to it on the hour and a half drive to the coast. It had what I think is a recent release from Maria McKee of Lone Justice.
There probably won't be links in this post as I'm having some internet problems and I'm just going to sign on and post and attempt to do any searches and I may get some details wrong.
Anyway, Maria McKee was critically acclaimed in 1984? with her one big album and the sort of hit "Ways to be Wicked" and "Don't toss us Away." Ways to be Wicked," was written for her by Tom Petty. She was an aspiring singer song writer at age 19 and was supposed to be the next best thing.
I have a big of a weakness for sweet and sad country songs sung by waif-like girls and I remember saving my money to but the album. Actually waiting for it to come out. I can't remember if I bought it from Discus records in McMinnville or if I couldn't afford the $7.50 and I borrowed someone else's copy and later ordered the album from Roundup Records.
I was quite captivated by her photo on the album cover, that toss of her hair when she belted out a lyric and the MTV video of her on a skateboard, a gingham dress, and a letterman jacket. Somehow I figured she would ditch that loser who was mean to her and find me. But, she never did and I never really grasped the concept that you need to be somewhat indifferent and perhaps just a touch cruel to the girls you want and that Way's to Be Wicked was song from the point of view of the manipulated one and might actually have some good advice. I mean, she was coming back for more.
But, I digress...
Lone Justice, Rank and File, and Steve Earle put me onto the Alternative Country genre and really got me listening to Country Music. From there I found Dwight Yoakam and George Jones and on to traditional country music. Little did I know that Lefty wrote "Life's Like Poetry," and "Waltz of the Angels" as well as the play-to-death "Long Back Veil." Or that Merle had other songs than "The Fightin' Side of Me."
I have a warm and a little bit fuzzy memory of snuggling on the couch in my apartment during college and watching an MTV video of Lone Justice singing what I thought was Don't Toss Us Away and standing next to a fire. The problem with this memory is that my wife swears it was not her with me at the time.
I also remember another cold evening and watching the rain listening to "You Are the Light" but i can't go into that one either as my wife also noted that it was not her. Since we got together and apart a few times over the course of a decade I thought it best to not mention any more memories involving Lone Justice music.
I saw a People Magazine with Taylor Swift and her record company appointed boyfriend who starred in "Brokeback Mountian." The memory of Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger making out and gay wrestling makes me laugh whenever I see Jake with a girl. Heath OD'd due to the embarrassment in starring in such a really bad movie and Jake seems to be over compensating for his gayness. Reminds me of the joke in which the punchline is, "....and just one goat" it is about a guy in a bar who wants to be remembered for building a street but isn't.
But I digress,
So in America, you have Maria McKee who is a very talented singer song writer, with a good vocal range and powerful voice and she was for years a one-hit wonder. I saw a video of her belting out "Fortunate Son," and it was kind of amazing! Talk about giving it your all. I wish I would have seen her live in a small club. I bet the energy would have been amazing.
Then you have Taylor Swift who is a total packaged act and she goes up the charts. Maria McKee's biggest successes came in Europe! But of course, the European's like actual country music and Americans like Billy Ray Cyrus.
Lone Justice had the misfortune of opening for U2 which probably doomed the band. There is one really bad song on the Maria McKee CD and it was her rendition of "Sweet Jane," and Bono sings and make reference to himself. What a pretentious ass. It should have been U2 opening for Lone Justice as that band could actually play their instruments.
We became friends through the course of an interview. I was dispatched by the newspaper to interview him about his high school drag race team as they were a thorn in the side of the sports department.
I made an appointment to interview him one evening. When I arrived he told me his friend had just been killed when the asphalt tank we was working on exploded and he really didn't feel like talking about car racing but he would appreciate it if I stayed and had a couple Henry's with him. Somewhere I wrote down the interesting stories he told me that evening that did not have anything to do with the high school drag race team. I don't know where that little notebook went.
It was different back then. I thought that life kind of opened up ahead of you and you followed what came next. With that strange sort of beatnik idea in my head I quit my job and went to Costa Rica with him the next year, but did NOT take the internship offered me by Hot Rod Magazine but rather decided to help out of the farm for a summer.
It was interesting to sit around with those people from 20 some years ago and look where they went and where I am.
I met my friend's girl friend who is quite nice and her daughter who is a year younger than mine. She can wiggle her nose very nicely and she hid a piece of peanut butter cake for her dog. I did not tell on her.
I had a nice chat with my friend's daughter (who is also my friend) and who I have not seen for quite a few years.
I also discovered that I can no longer pick individual voices out of a crowded room and so I suppose I'm going to go deaf sooner than later. I smiled and nodded a lot.
I was going to spend the night if invited, and had an overnight bag packed but decided to go home. The whole thing kind of set me back a bit.
My brother loaned me a flash drive full of music. I listened to it on the hour and a half drive to the coast. It had what I think is a recent release from Maria McKee of Lone Justice.
There probably won't be links in this post as I'm having some internet problems and I'm just going to sign on and post and attempt to do any searches and I may get some details wrong.
Anyway, Maria McKee was critically acclaimed in 1984? with her one big album and the sort of hit "Ways to be Wicked" and "Don't toss us Away." Ways to be Wicked," was written for her by Tom Petty. She was an aspiring singer song writer at age 19 and was supposed to be the next best thing.
I have a big of a weakness for sweet and sad country songs sung by waif-like girls and I remember saving my money to but the album. Actually waiting for it to come out. I can't remember if I bought it from Discus records in McMinnville or if I couldn't afford the $7.50 and I borrowed someone else's copy and later ordered the album from Roundup Records.
I was quite captivated by her photo on the album cover, that toss of her hair when she belted out a lyric and the MTV video of her on a skateboard, a gingham dress, and a letterman jacket. Somehow I figured she would ditch that loser who was mean to her and find me. But, she never did and I never really grasped the concept that you need to be somewhat indifferent and perhaps just a touch cruel to the girls you want and that Way's to Be Wicked was song from the point of view of the manipulated one and might actually have some good advice. I mean, she was coming back for more.
But, I digress...
Lone Justice, Rank and File, and Steve Earle put me onto the Alternative Country genre and really got me listening to Country Music. From there I found Dwight Yoakam and George Jones and on to traditional country music. Little did I know that Lefty wrote "Life's Like Poetry," and "Waltz of the Angels" as well as the play-to-death "Long Back Veil." Or that Merle had other songs than "The Fightin' Side of Me."
I have a warm and a little bit fuzzy memory of snuggling on the couch in my apartment during college and watching an MTV video of Lone Justice singing what I thought was Don't Toss Us Away and standing next to a fire. The problem with this memory is that my wife swears it was not her with me at the time.
I also remember another cold evening and watching the rain listening to "You Are the Light" but i can't go into that one either as my wife also noted that it was not her. Since we got together and apart a few times over the course of a decade I thought it best to not mention any more memories involving Lone Justice music.
I saw a People Magazine with Taylor Swift and her record company appointed boyfriend who starred in "Brokeback Mountian." The memory of Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger making out and gay wrestling makes me laugh whenever I see Jake with a girl. Heath OD'd due to the embarrassment in starring in such a really bad movie and Jake seems to be over compensating for his gayness. Reminds me of the joke in which the punchline is, "....and just one goat" it is about a guy in a bar who wants to be remembered for building a street but isn't.
But I digress,
So in America, you have Maria McKee who is a very talented singer song writer, with a good vocal range and powerful voice and she was for years a one-hit wonder. I saw a video of her belting out "Fortunate Son," and it was kind of amazing! Talk about giving it your all. I wish I would have seen her live in a small club. I bet the energy would have been amazing.
Then you have Taylor Swift who is a total packaged act and she goes up the charts. Maria McKee's biggest successes came in Europe! But of course, the European's like actual country music and Americans like Billy Ray Cyrus.
Lone Justice had the misfortune of opening for U2 which probably doomed the band. There is one really bad song on the Maria McKee CD and it was her rendition of "Sweet Jane," and Bono sings and make reference to himself. What a pretentious ass. It should have been U2 opening for Lone Justice as that band could actually play their instruments.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
What I Want for Christmas, (Other than an new iBook)
Just as I wrote this post the screen fell over flat on my iBook. I shut the cord in the hinge a while back and busted it. I am so really tired of being broke.
We didn't go to church this morning which probably means that my daughter will grow up to be a drug addict and an atheist or even worse, a unitarian, or worse than that, she will attend a megachurch where the guys all wear short pants and high five each other a lot, and hug, and send praise messages to each other on facebook and the youth group membersblow each other smoke chronic cuss in the church bathrooms...
But, I digress...
I want one of these for Christmas- Specifically a Thorens 145 or 165 with a dust cover and a decent cartridge. Like this... Then I can record my Maria McKee album to MP3 and perhaps my daughter will be come a not-quite-famous singer and song writer and be incredibly attractive at age 19 and suddenly become very large at age 45 causing her old fans to freak out when they see her on YouTube and remember that they loved her for him mind and not her looks all those years ago.
I probably won't get this for Christmas as I really just need socks and underwear...
And a new iBook.
And 1.2 million dollars
Or a pat on the head and a kind word...
We didn't go to church this morning which probably means that my daughter will grow up to be a drug addict and an atheist or even worse, a unitarian, or worse than that, she will attend a megachurch where the guys all wear short pants and high five each other a lot, and hug, and send praise messages to each other on facebook and the youth group members
But, I digress...
I want one of these for Christmas- Specifically a Thorens 145 or 165 with a dust cover and a decent cartridge. Like this... Then I can record my Maria McKee album to MP3 and perhaps my daughter will be come a not-quite-famous singer and song writer and be incredibly attractive at age 19 and suddenly become very large at age 45 causing her old fans to freak out when they see her on YouTube and remember that they loved her for him mind and not her looks all those years ago.
I probably won't get this for Christmas as I really just need socks and underwear...
And a new iBook.
And 1.2 million dollars
Or a pat on the head and a kind word...
Friday, December 3, 2010
Slugs and baiting and mud and what to you say to people who are almost dead
Today I spread slug bait. The Pacific Northwest has been invaded by a multitude of the slimy little creatures from all over the world. Many of them have moved to our farm.
I have been waiting for the rain to let up so I can spread slug bait for a month now. I usually apply it when I plant so that the slugs eat the bait before the plant sprouts. However, we worked a lot of ground instead of no-tilling and I was hoping to avoid the slug problem. A lot of the wheat I spread slug bait on today has almost big enough to out grow the slug pressures. The annual doesn't look like it has a bag slug problem but I thought I'd just throw away $500 so I spread bait on everything that was short and I could find slugs.
Ironically our other major pest seems to be doing a very good job at eating the slugs. Geese are flocking to the fields where the worst slug problems were. However, they also eat the wheat and sometimes the annual ryegrass.
I have two photos. The first is of the slug baiting machine parked in a wheat field that is totally overrun with annual ryegrass. The annual ryegrass fields that I planted are not this thick. It has been scheduled for spraying for a while and they claim they can control the annual. I doubt it.
The next photo is of wheat that I no-tilled into a sweet corn field. It is pretty much bare dirt. I planted it at an angle and if you look the right direction you can see rows. I spread slugbait as there were slugs but there were also many goose turds so it is probably a lost cause.
Then I managed to hit a mud puddle at a high rate of speed which drenched me with very cold water so I went home for lunch. After lunch I needed two more $95 bags of slug bait and to get the kids from school so I also went to see an older gentleman who just had a relapse of cancer. Two weeks ago he was walking around fine and today he is in a hospital bed in his home waiting to die. Very depressing. He invented a really cool hay tedder that lifts and gently fluffs the hay instead of throwing it around. His family is all gathering. I never know what to say.
I think I'd rather get hit by a bus and get it all over with at once.
I have been waiting for the rain to let up so I can spread slug bait for a month now. I usually apply it when I plant so that the slugs eat the bait before the plant sprouts. However, we worked a lot of ground instead of no-tilling and I was hoping to avoid the slug problem. A lot of the wheat I spread slug bait on today has almost big enough to out grow the slug pressures. The annual doesn't look like it has a bag slug problem but I thought I'd just throw away $500 so I spread bait on everything that was short and I could find slugs.
Ironically our other major pest seems to be doing a very good job at eating the slugs. Geese are flocking to the fields where the worst slug problems were. However, they also eat the wheat and sometimes the annual ryegrass.
I have two photos. The first is of the slug baiting machine parked in a wheat field that is totally overrun with annual ryegrass. The annual ryegrass fields that I planted are not this thick. It has been scheduled for spraying for a while and they claim they can control the annual. I doubt it.
The next photo is of wheat that I no-tilled into a sweet corn field. It is pretty much bare dirt. I planted it at an angle and if you look the right direction you can see rows. I spread slugbait as there were slugs but there were also many goose turds so it is probably a lost cause.
Then I managed to hit a mud puddle at a high rate of speed which drenched me with very cold water so I went home for lunch. After lunch I needed two more $95 bags of slug bait and to get the kids from school so I also went to see an older gentleman who just had a relapse of cancer. Two weeks ago he was walking around fine and today he is in a hospital bed in his home waiting to die. Very depressing. He invented a really cool hay tedder that lifts and gently fluffs the hay instead of throwing it around. His family is all gathering. I never know what to say.
I think I'd rather get hit by a bus and get it all over with at once.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Positive thinking and the Junior Jihadist
I was discussing the Jihad Jr. (Christmas Tree Bomber) with another farmer this morning and we figured out where he went wrong. The visiting farmer was laughing about the cell phone recording they played on TV today (I didn't see it) and how there were obvious edits and things missing and complaining about how much this stupid scam was going to cost us tax payers and, suddenly we realized a totally overlooked opportunity,
I've been reading "How to win friends and influence people," and I saw an episode of "Earl" yesterday and it all came together in a flash. Jr. Jihad had it made, he just needed to recognize the opportunity!
So, he gets an apartment and $3,000 and gets to hang out wild Jihadists and blow stuff up in the woods and he really has it made. What was he thinking in punching the buttons on that cell phone?
He should have said, "hey guys, I think next week would be better cause they will have bell ringers in Pioneer square and that is such a total symbol of the great Satan."
Or, "I really need to go to Panama City beach to recruit more Jihadists during spring break."
Or could you get me Net Flicks cause I need it for research.
Or I really need strippers to convince me of the vileness of the western world. Oh, yeah and more porn!
Or how about the DAY AFTER Christmas cause that is when all the shoppers are out.
Or after New Years...
Or I need more cash, and a Hummer, man all the real terrorists have hummers...
Or I could do this so much better with the new iPhone.
Hey man, can we go blow stuff up in the woods again I forgot how.
Or dang it I would have pushed the button but I have a cold.
Or there was a kitty cat and it was soooo cute!
I should start a consulting service!
I've been reading "How to win friends and influence people," and I saw an episode of "Earl" yesterday and it all came together in a flash. Jr. Jihad had it made, he just needed to recognize the opportunity!
So, he gets an apartment and $3,000 and gets to hang out wild Jihadists and blow stuff up in the woods and he really has it made. What was he thinking in punching the buttons on that cell phone?
He should have said, "hey guys, I think next week would be better cause they will have bell ringers in Pioneer square and that is such a total symbol of the great Satan."
Or, "I really need to go to Panama City beach to recruit more Jihadists during spring break."
Or could you get me Net Flicks cause I need it for research.
Or I really need strippers to convince me of the vileness of the western world. Oh, yeah and more porn!
Or how about the DAY AFTER Christmas cause that is when all the shoppers are out.
Or after New Years...
Or I need more cash, and a Hummer, man all the real terrorists have hummers...
Or I could do this so much better with the new iPhone.
Hey man, can we go blow stuff up in the woods again I forgot how.
Or dang it I would have pushed the button but I have a cold.
Or there was a kitty cat and it was soooo cute!
I should start a consulting service!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I accomplish almost nothing today
I took dad to the Doctor.
His lack of prune juice caused some difficulties for him. The Dr. suggested a more reliable means of regulating certain functions and I discovered that medically approved and packaged fiber is about the same price as $3.75 a quart prune juice. There has got to be a cheaper source of prunes.
In other news, I attempted to buy dad a new printer yesterday. In his quest to sell enough moisture testers to make us independently wealthy dad has been scouring the yellow pages for businesses with any connection to wood, concrete, hay, soil, dry wall, carpet, or anything else that could possibly be tested for moisture with a hand held moisture tester. He has entered all these names into a database in Filemaker Pro 2.0 under system 9 which is running in Classic Mode on his G4 1.42 14" iBook and then he prints envelopes. He makes up his own flyers on the photocopy machine to put into the envelopes but that is not the problem. It is printing the envelopes. The printer won't print and so I get a call. This is due to one of four things. 1. The printer is turned off 2. The USB cable is unplugged 3. Laserwriter 8 is not selected in the chooser under control panels under the little OS 9 icon. 4. He put the print monitor on hold accidently.
Finally the printer died. It would not pull the envelopes through the tractor feed.
So, I went to town and bought a printer.
I wanted to get a capacitor for the electric motor on my wife's table saw but apparently this must come from Craftsman. Three electrical supply stores in town told me that.
You cannot buy a cheap simple under $100 printer. I ended up with an Epson all-in-one scanner, fax, copier, printer, with wireless networking.
I brought it home and it hooked up to the airport network and he was back in the envelope printing business again.
I attempted to play a trick on him by having him hold one end of the USB cord and touch the printer with the other hand because he couldn't understand how I would get it to print without plugging in a wire to the computer but he would not fall for it.
Dad is 92. Keep that in mind when you are thinking about his Moisture Tester selling empire. He does well for 92 but I often wonder what those people who receive his hand-made flyers think.
After I brought him home from the Doctor I changed the oil in the M670 and attempted to properly line up the sheet metal and find all the oil leaks. Then I decided to install a loader. Mostly I just wandered around aimlessly and was cold. Oh, and I put out mouse bait in the barn and a couple trucks. It took me till 7:30 p.m. to do all of this.
I also listened to a radio report about the FBI recruited fake Christmas Tree bomber. (latest news) For some strange reason the tape recorder malfunctioned while the almost-a-great-bomber was being recruited by the FBI. So, we will never know if he was set up or not. I really trust the authorities to do the right thing so I am absolutely positive that he begged the officer to let him join the local Christmas Tree destruction Jihad mosque team.
Or maybe it was because he was so angry that he somehow got on theblacklist no-fly list and lost his job in Alaska that he wanted to blow up a great public building. I guess we will never know cause recording equipment malfunctioned.
The worst thing about this is (aside from more loss of civil liberties for us that will surely follow) is that I find myself defending someone/something that is morally reprehensible. I also read today that the Islamic state in Iran just hung a soccer players mistress for killing his ex-wife. The ex-brother-in-law happily kicked the chair out from underneath her. Remember now, this is the 21st century!
And with all the craziness associated with this religion it would seem that... oh I don't know. Something is wrong here. Somehow it is all a setup. Just too convenient.
Edit: The article I linked to does not mention the missing recording, nor does it detail how he was put on the no-fly list, then contacted, then given an apartment in Portland, money, trained in bomb making, given a list of targets (my words) or questioned if he wanted to blow up baby infidels and whorish western women. I can't find the article I read but I thought it was on Oregon Live.
You know this war on terror will never end... We are not even taking their oil-what is the point?
His lack of prune juice caused some difficulties for him. The Dr. suggested a more reliable means of regulating certain functions and I discovered that medically approved and packaged fiber is about the same price as $3.75 a quart prune juice. There has got to be a cheaper source of prunes.
In other news, I attempted to buy dad a new printer yesterday. In his quest to sell enough moisture testers to make us independently wealthy dad has been scouring the yellow pages for businesses with any connection to wood, concrete, hay, soil, dry wall, carpet, or anything else that could possibly be tested for moisture with a hand held moisture tester. He has entered all these names into a database in Filemaker Pro 2.0 under system 9 which is running in Classic Mode on his G4 1.42 14" iBook and then he prints envelopes. He makes up his own flyers on the photocopy machine to put into the envelopes but that is not the problem. It is printing the envelopes. The printer won't print and so I get a call. This is due to one of four things. 1. The printer is turned off 2. The USB cable is unplugged 3. Laserwriter 8 is not selected in the chooser under control panels under the little OS 9 icon. 4. He put the print monitor on hold accidently.
Finally the printer died. It would not pull the envelopes through the tractor feed.
So, I went to town and bought a printer.
I wanted to get a capacitor for the electric motor on my wife's table saw but apparently this must come from Craftsman. Three electrical supply stores in town told me that.
You cannot buy a cheap simple under $100 printer. I ended up with an Epson all-in-one scanner, fax, copier, printer, with wireless networking.
I brought it home and it hooked up to the airport network and he was back in the envelope printing business again.
I attempted to play a trick on him by having him hold one end of the USB cord and touch the printer with the other hand because he couldn't understand how I would get it to print without plugging in a wire to the computer but he would not fall for it.
Dad is 92. Keep that in mind when you are thinking about his Moisture Tester selling empire. He does well for 92 but I often wonder what those people who receive his hand-made flyers think.
After I brought him home from the Doctor I changed the oil in the M670 and attempted to properly line up the sheet metal and find all the oil leaks. Then I decided to install a loader. Mostly I just wandered around aimlessly and was cold. Oh, and I put out mouse bait in the barn and a couple trucks. It took me till 7:30 p.m. to do all of this.
Or maybe it was because he was so angry that he somehow got on the
The worst thing about this is (aside from more loss of civil liberties for us that will surely follow) is that I find myself defending someone/something that is morally reprehensible. I also read today that the Islamic state in Iran just hung a soccer players mistress for killing his ex-wife. The ex-brother-in-law happily kicked the chair out from underneath her. Remember now, this is the 21st century!
And with all the craziness associated with this religion it would seem that... oh I don't know. Something is wrong here. Somehow it is all a setup. Just too convenient.
Edit: The article I linked to does not mention the missing recording, nor does it detail how he was put on the no-fly list, then contacted, then given an apartment in Portland, money, trained in bomb making, given a list of targets (my words) or questioned if he wanted to blow up baby infidels and whorish western women. I can't find the article I read but I thought it was on Oregon Live.
You know this war on terror will never end... We are not even taking their oil-what is the point?
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