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Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Dogs and bicyclists, oh my!

I will admit my bias. I don't like bicyclists. They are having fun while I am working, they block the road, and they were funny tight clothes. You think it is a girl and it is a guy. It is disturbing. And they upset the dogs.
You have to have dogs or meth addicts will steal you blind, but if you dog bites a bicyclist he will sue you blind.
I came back in the house to check the weather. I want to go plant for a fellow, but he is worried it is too wet to close the ground properly. This is a total switch from those I have planted for in the previous weeks, they just wanted the seed in the ground. This is not to say he is wrong, it is just a switch. I'm going to get a weather printout so we can do some planning when I go to look at his field. If he thinks it is too wet I have someone else down the road who wants me to plant so I will just go to him and come back in two or three days.
So, I'm trying to figure out how to print a weather forecast without getting 10 pages out of the printer when i hear a commotion in the yard. There is a hispanic fellow on a three wheeled bicycle towing a cart loaded with cans. Stanley has him cornered. He is reaching for his dog whomping stick when I get Stanley to come back. Stanley is a bit racist. However, he is also a big pansey and is addicted to kind words and dog biscuits. All the mexican dude has to do is toss him a biscuit and say "nice doggy." It works for the UPS guy, the guy at the gas station, the fex ex dude, and the people that steal gas out of our trucks. Why can't bicyclists figure it out?
Well of course I know the answer. Bicyclists are better than I, they don't waste fossil fuels (except in the tight nylon funny shorts), they are green, so they should own the oil paved highways...
I hate living next to the road. Our new dog which is on loan from a relative is in the road again. She sits in the road and waits for my wife to come home. She is going to get hit and injured and I'm going to have to shoot her. I really hate doing that, she is a nice dog. Not very smart, but nice.


  1. I'll take a skunk in the road any day over a cyclist, but a good dog waiting at the end of the driveway (hopefully OFF the road) trumps them both.

  2. Skunks eat insects and mice and never sue you. So, yes I would agree with you. Skunks are much better than bicyclists.
    I dog waiting for you is wonderful. A dog in the road is not so good.


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