The rain (and other things) have already made me grumpy but I have a link to Dali on "What's my Line."

Yesterday I skinned my knuckles, I waited all day for someone to come after grain, I lied to my father about what happened to the cord for his computer, I got wet and muddy and I have to deal with important life decisions. I hate life decisions in general, it is hard enough answering the basic questions, if I should poop or go blind? And if I make the decision not to go blind, what then? Do I poop or get off the pot? Eventually that question will be answered for me as the MacBook just let me know I'm running on reserve power. I sometimes view that message more as a philosophic statement than a warning that the screen will go dark in a few seconds. No proof-reading this morning! Stream of consciousness baby!
At least the dog and the cats are happy we are home. The psycho kitty is running around the house with her ears pinned back. The mentally handicapped kitty has found a new box to sit in. Crazy Kat is still at  the Aunt's house. Which is I suppose, why psycho kitty is happily running around the house.
Yesterday I took "Lulu" to school. It was raining and dark. We imagined we were actually on our way to Beach Access 12.

We imagined the soft sand. We pictured building a sand castle. We were very happy when our friends from Florida showed up. Sadie went to play with the girl and boy while her tottery old dad sat down in a lawn chair. (I really like the people we visited in Florida. They made us feel very welcome even though we just kind of showed up at their house and family Christmas after not really talking to them in 20 years.)
But then we arrived at school...
For some reason this made me think of Mr. Dali.

We went to the Dali Museum in Tampa. But we did not view MuddyValley's work at the nearby church of which I have forgotten the name. We are a bunch of poopie-bottoms I suppose.
In many ways I think viewing the Dali museum was more fitting for us. I appreciate the Surrealists much more now than I did years ago when life seemed to make sense...Sort of like going to the "Mother Ship."

If you look closely we are wearing Dali pipe cleaner mustaches.

Like Dali, the Museum has no shame! Dali popcorn?!!!! We bought a Dali refrigerator magnet.

The point at which your Gubment becomes pointless?

I'm a believer in limited Gubment. Fewer laws and fewer regulations means fewer trips to jail and less money wasted.

People band together to provide group services like Fire Protection, Police protection, rescue services, but there comes a time when those agencies get out of control.

I think that sending James Anderson Jr. a bill several million dollars for a fire that started in his outdoor trash can shows the utter failure of our gubment.

It raises some serious questions?

Why did it cost 10 million to put out the fire?

AND when you are talking 10 million to put out a fire and you are assigning blame then perhaps you should ask, who let it get out of control?

What practices were used to control the fire?

AND in general, why is the cost of fighting fires so high that the gubment has to send out bills?

OF course I have an opinion after talking to people who have been subjected to the insanity of having an unaccountable agency fight fires on their property.

The whole thing is run by incompetent idiots who are not spending their own money on their own property.

I wish I were on the beach in Florida.

Or even having two eggs and grits at Waffle House...

 I'm already starting to get grumpy...

I arrive home to happiness and sunshine and a letter from the alumni relations director!

I'm home...
It was a long flight...
It all started at 3:30 a.m. this morning in Tamp. We were supposed to catch the first shuttle at 4:45 a.m. We rushed. I'm not an early starter and neither is my daughter.
Neither was the shuttle driver.
He arrived at 5:15 a.m.
He also was not able to connect the large number of bags with the seating in the van and loaded up all the bags before the riders figured out there were more of them than there were seats.
"It is ok, I will return, right back!" he exclaimed.
"Ten Minutes, No probleem," he said.
It was more like 20 but who was counting. Well other than the people who needed to catch the 4:45 shuttle.
When he returned I noticed the numerous signs encouraging gratuities.
He quickly loaded the bags and exclaimed "no problem" several times.
This made everyone feel so much better.
Then he had a problem with his iPhone.
He fixed it by pressing really hard on the button at the top of the phone and staring intently at the blank screen. I was hoping the German speaking passenger in the front seat would plug the phone in for him but he did not.
After a few moments which seemed like ten (but who was counting) the driver realized that the problem was not that the button did not work, but rather, the phone was not actually connected to the battery charger.
And away we went.
We did not actually hit the curb at International House of Pancakes.
Then his phone rang. He was able to hang up on the caller. But unable to call them back. He was able to dart into traffic and several alert drivers missed running into us.
He figured out how to return the call.
But not right away.
"I arrive quickly," he said.
He also changed lanes and very nearly wiped out a Prius. He never even saw it.
We did make it to the gate on time. There were only five people in line. My wife got in trouble with the TSA fellow for putting the plastic tote on the floor to put her shoes in it. He had just advised people not to do that. He said he "could not believe," she was doing what he just told her not to do. She said she did not understand him. He said he probably needed to speak clearer.  She did not get the sarcasm. He did have a heavy accent.
I was so worried about my wife and daughter going into the little TSA room that I forgot to take out my containers of 2 oz liquids or my wallet, or the water bottle in the side pocket of my backpack. My wife offered to give up her nail clippers. The agent said they didn't take nail clippers away, but he did take her bottle of suntan lotion even though it fit in the ziploc bag. I doubt she will be using it in the next few months anyway. But.. if she would have left it in the backpack it would have gone though.
I went right though. Didn't even set off the alarm with the change in my pocket.
So... if you are a terrorist all you have to do is make the TSA rent-a-cop feel important and you can tote a small thermonuclear device though in your backpack. But, you can't have the detonator in your shoes. They will check for that.
It is raining and cold and muddy in Oregon. I probably should start on the Vitamin D pills tomorrow morning.

If you feel like reading on,

So I came home and checked my mail.
I ignored all the bills and opened the letter from my Alma Mater. I always get amusement out of their fundraising efforts towards myself.
After all, I do have a job.... A very good job.... if you know what I mean.
But aside from my potential employment at GoodWill...
George Fox is tearing out my fountainscape!
I feel a great sense of loss!
First of all, I never knew that my graduating class had actually installed a fountain at GFC before it became Gee F U!
Also, I have been confused for the past 24-26 years as to what year I actually graduated from GFC. I don't recall ever attending any sort of class meetings, I'm almost positive I skipped orientation, I think I went to graduation, I'm almost positive I had a diploma, although there was some doubt if I would ever get the actually paper as I owed $5.75 on my tuition bill for a couple years which I forgot to pay.
And, I really have no idea exactly what a fountainscape actually is. Perhaps someone has a photo. I read an article online about "manscaping," and I found that rather frightening. I only hope that a fountainscape does not involve hot wax and a kind of poofy guy with funny hair.
If so, that could explain the GFU facebook group I was recently invited to join.
I do appreciate the letter from GFU apologizing for removing my "fountainscape" and assuring me it was done in the name of progress.
I am almost certain the letter was really signed by the Vice President for Advancement Strategy and Donor Relations himself or herself which ever it may be. I am somewhat in awe of the title. I'd like to have a job with a title like that.
Perhaps something like, Assistant Advisor to the President of the Poop and sit back down in it Farm Department of Coffee Drinking , Couch Sitting and Customer Avoidance, Resource Management Authority? But in the interest of a long term commitment add "For Life," to the end of the title.
So to summarize my intellectual development today:
1. Apparently I graduated from George Fox College in 1987
2. I possibly voted yes on something to do with a fountain
3. That fountain alteration/improvement/whatever, is now being bulldozed in the name of Progress.
4. George Fox wants me not to feel bad about it.
But I do have questions.
What is a fountainscape? Can you really shave a fountain? Why would you want to shave a fountain? If not shaving, then wouldn't the wax plug up the jets? Is it like a Brazilian? Or is a Brazilian a term for a lot of money just a little less than a Ga-Zillion?
And, if I would have gone to Fox for the full four years and did the whole group showering thing as a freshman in Penn One would I feel more connected? Is it that lingering sense of shame that unites the Alumni or did everyone just really bond in that class where we were supposed to say what kind of animal we thought we were? Did I really pay $14,000 to hear that the girl next to me thought she was a cheetah? I mean, I had already found that out on my own? But, did I get extra credit for that? NOOO...
I think I really need to hug someone right now!

Sarasota mangroves and Siesta Key and a Checker Station Wagon

We are in Sarasota. Tomorrow we go back to Tampa and Tuesday we fly home.

dh spotted this Checker stationwagon

Yesterday we took paddleboards on a tour of the mangroves.

Zach was our guide. He is pictured on the right. dh is in the center, Lulu is on the left. I am taking the photo.

Today we went to Church and then the beach. Nice sunset.

Goodwill In Sarasota

It is cold in Sarasota.
A chilly 57 degrees.
So we went to GoodWill.
I met a nice fellow from Canada. He did not know Ralph. He said Canada was a big country. I think he was from Nova Scotia.
I learned that Wilf Carter was known as Montana Slim in the USA. Would that make him a "cross-over" artist?
He also explained to me how to clean old records using Elmer's glue. You coat the record with a think coating, let it sit 72 hrs, and peel it off. I was suitably impressed.
I have heard of this technique before and it can end badly.
However, I am trying to not be a "basement" person (as explained in last Sunday's Sermon) and so I actually engaged in conversation, instead of pushing the "fake phone call" button on my phone and pretending to talk to my wife.
Then we went to see the site of the first hardware store in Sarasota. It is now Yoder's fresh produce. It was nice.
Later we waited in line for an hour to eat at Yoder's Restaurant.
I had fried chicken.
It was good.
Then we went to our friends place of business.
They do something with construction and contracting.
They share space with an alarm sales company. The alarm sales guy is an ex-Kirby salesman. He was number 2 Kirby salesman in the USA. I wish I could have met him. Alas, the sales team was out harassing elderly people into buying their alarm monitoring systems.
One technique he used to motivate salespeople is to have balloons which had slips of paper designating a prize inside. If you make a sale you can poke a balloon and get a prize. There were all these posters, "$500 or a trip to the Bahamas," along with motivational slogans written with a sharpie on poster board.
The balloons had all been popped. I unfolded a whole pile of prize tags. The prizes were $1, $5, one extra chance at the big drawing, another dollar, and the biggest motivation of all, A BALLPOINT PEN!.
Now that would be a motivation to get my foot in the door.
They said he never actually had pens and would offer to take the salesperson to Wallmart to , "get a really good one."
We are having a good trip.

Space Dots and Sarasota and cold weather

We arrived in Sarasota yesterday afternoon. We brought the rain with us. It was 75 degrees at Cocoa Beach and the sun was shining. So we left.
We couldn't have a perfect day at the beach, it would ruin our streak of medium luck.
We are staying with friends and sometimes readers of The Lazy Farmer.
We refers to Me, My Wife, Daughter, and Friends from Oregon who are really from Florida. Well "D" is from Florida and is the son of the farmer I used to work for. His lovely and gracious wife is from Oregon.
We are staying with his Sister's family who may also at times follow The Lazy Farmer.
I have not seen any corn.
Here we are eating Space Dots. They are a flash frozen astronaut dessert.

My wife got me a NASA T-shirt at Target.
I think we are going to Goodwill or perhaps a tour of the mangroves.
Last night we got Amish style cheese curds. They squeak when you eat them. Oh, and Pickles! I like pickles!

The Space Center was cool but...

Too many movies...But the Rockets Were Cool!
NASA is now a tour bus company
What is the kickback scheme in the relationship between Space X and NASA?
Did the moon rocks in the exhibit come from US Marshals raiding little old ladies who were trying to sell the family moon rock? (NASA used to give them away like candy)
Where was MuddyValley's art work?
For those of us who remember the excitement of the first trip to the moon, going to Cape Canaveral is depressing. There was a time when the USA was the best country in the world, when that blue passport got you to the front of the line and everybody was happy to let you.
Now we defund NASA and spend trillions on people who hate us.
Now we have metal detectors and ID checks to see old rockets?
Found no strange bottles on Cocoa Beach...
RonJon's is a massive tourist trap. They even hit us up for a condo and water park with the promise of ham sandwiches and a waterpark in the rain.
My wife bought me three Ventures albums. The covers are good but I think they have scratches.
I didn't tell her.
She didn't go to NASA. There was not much to do in Cocoa Beach, on Nude Years Day, in the rain.
Went to Waffle House last night.
Dinner for $3.99, same price as water at the Space Center...
I have limited internet, I gotta go...