Ralph Posts Song of the Lazy Farmer!

So my blog is titled, "The Lazy Farmer," and Ralph has all the cartoons!
Click here to read the Song of the Lazy Farmer

My neighbor called me at 6:30 a.m. to tell me the river was up

He wanted to know if he could hold his Friday hamburger BBQ in the back of my dead IH truck as it is now lakefront property. That was really funny...
The river is now up for the third or fourth time this year and our freshly planted Oats are drifting to Portland.
It is all bad karma/payback for the mean trick I played on my daughter. The other day.
I had been using spray foam to plug up holes in my grain bin and thought one of them looked remarkably like a turd.
I put it in her slipper.
She was not amused...

We discussed this yesterday whilst sitting on the porch enjoying ice cream cones. She told me I was the best daddy she ever had. But then we got on the subject of mean pranks to which she had been subjected.
-Like when I put a fake hand up my sleeve and then when she shook my hand and it came off saying, "oh no, you broke it." (She cried) I actually feel bad about that one.
-Telling her everything was in black in white when I was a kid and that our town got color after everyone else due to it being out in the country. And that my mom would buy color paint on sale not caring that it was a strange color because we didn't have color in our town and then one day we got color and it turned out the bathroom was hot pink with an Avocado  green door. She repeated that story-as a joke I am sure. But it got me quite the phone call from my sister-in-law.
-Making her listen to the Ledgendary Stardust Cowboy
-Breaking wind and then blaming it on her
-Or pushing her off her chair in order to win super Mario Brothers on the Wii.
There were a few more items but you get the general idea.
She still maintained I am in fact the best father she has since she only has one father, but then down graded my status relative to other fathers, pointing out that I had to be the most annoying father she knew of.
It is good to know your are number one in something...

Bob Caldwell vs Robert Caldwell

I have been thinking about the differences between the lives two people named Caldwell which I have compared though my search for juicy details on a fellow who just took the Rockefeller exit. (Click here for a funny (in my opinion) post on this subject)
Instead I found the Robert Caldwell who led a fascinating life and who should be held up as a hero. He is an example of the America that I think is long gone.
Robert Caldwell was an Intelligence officer in the US Army during WWII. He went on to be part of the CIA and took a stand against things like torture and idiotic decisions which lead to a loss of liberty and the good standing of the USA in the world. He had some really good ideas on how bad decision making and poor training can lead to ideas of conspiracies which are not there.
It also appears that his son, who wrote the biography, has a fascinating life in his own right.
Bob Caldwell was the editorial page editor of our local Big paper. He died in the arms of a prostitute who is referred to in the press as either a "College Student," or "Tigard Resident."
It is kind of funny.
Taking into account there is probably a %15.87 chance (careful calculation using the Pearson's Square gave me that number) that she was actually just a hot college student that needed encouragement and a little cash "for books," and perhaps a mentor, and the %1 chance she was really a dude, and the %5 chance she was really ugly, I'd say she is most likely an escort who uses the college student line to bring in business and seem more respectable. Not a bad marketing plan.
It is funny that she was not named in any of the stories. Is it respect for privacy? or cover-up? What would the news have been if it would have been someone else less popular?
(And there is also the chance that Mr. Caldwell really thought she was his mistress. He may have had quite fond feelings for her. I respect that. We all believe what we need to believe to make our lives work for us)
That has happened before.
It is just really good fortune that she turned out to be 25 and not 17 as was the case with this former Doctor and respected man of the community.
I bet when he found out the truth he said, "oops!"
I personally think prostitution should be legalized. Honest pay for an honest hour's fifteen minutes, three minute's two minute's work. I find the double standard shown by people in authority to be kind of amusing.
I think it should be legalized even though I would not patronize the business and would encourage people not to go into that line of work...
But, that was not the point of the post. Now I've forgotten the point of the post. Oh well...

Edit: Back after a couple hours of actual work... Yes I forgot the punchline of the joke but in talking with my brother found he found the same humor in the Bob Caldwell joke.
So here is the punchline.
In the news report they said the police did not arrest the "college student" (wink, wink...) because Bob hadn't paid for the sex that day... Now that is funny!
I just think it is a good thing the "Tigard Resident" wasn't a real stickler for payment up front! Or perhaps no one noticed all those PCC college bookstore Gift Cards laying around!
He hadn't paid yet that day so it was not "prostitution."
I swear this is the ultimate in unfairness, just ask Eddie Murphy, he was just giving the girl guy a ride home! People are still laughing at him!

Back a half hour later: The story gets even better. His wife was cool with it! Read the story and see the feminist commenter about how the wife must have low self esteem.
Ok, Help me with my belief system...
Slutwalk = Empowerment (even though it laughs in the face of being self aware and safe in the city)
College students who have lots of sex but don't charge=Really Good!
College students who have the gall to charge for the sex= Bad, especially if it is a Republican who is paying but it is ok for the girl if the guy is liked by right people and if he is "paying for books."
Old guy paying for sex=Bad unless he is liked by right people and if he is "paying for books."
Wife who is probably tired of sex and tells her husband to go find a hooker (I could be wrong on this one, but I bet not)=Bad, but only because the feminist quoted thought the Oregonian was still a so-called "conservative" newspaper and didn't realize the editorial page editor was liked by the political establishment in Portland.
Perhaps I'll just stop there as I'm getting confused...
Wonder if they will name the girl or will she fall off a roof like Eddie Murphy's boy did...
Link to an interesting story about Eddie's helpful deed. Sort of NSW (not suitable for wife)

I really like this picture

http://bjws.blogspot.com/2011/10/evolution-of-american-artist-teacher.html

How do I put a picture on my blog and not violate copyright law? I want to send readers to the site where the picture is located as I don't want to reprint all the details. Also, I don't want to really use the art, just reference it.

It is a painting by David McCosh, titled, "Highway in Oregon," he also drew some pictures of grain elevators. I find that a worthwhile endeavor.

Google Search for the picture

I can steal the image very easily. I would do that very thing with a link to the site I borrowed it from but I don't want to run afoul of the copy police. I think that would be "fair use" as I am not claiming it or using it for gain or background wall paper, but rather using it as a link to more information about the picture.

I would enjoy it on my wall. I wonder if there has been a "paint-by-numbers" kit made of this picture?

Upon further search I found this link to the whole collection of David McCosh.

How to remove the over/under/direct shifter on your White 2-135

This is what I did today. After scaring a hundred geese out of our wheat fields which they have mowed down like a lawn. Well, not my lawn as the lawnmower is broken I have not repaired it yet.
The powershift/hydrashift/amplitorque or whatever you call the on the go shifter on a White tractor failed on our 2-135. It failed in a mud hole while spreading fertilizer and the tractor came to a complete stop.
However, after the transmission cooled down it would move in over and direct. In underdrive it does not move. The oil is black and smells like fried clutch disks.
You have to remove the engine to get to the over/under which is a separate unit from the main transmission.
To remove the engine you remove the standard stuff, sheet metal, wires, fuel lines, and you remove the radiator and that big brushed aluminum mystery metal grill thing in the front. The oil cooler and a/c condenser fold forward. You have to remove the a/c pump but not the hoses. It hangs off the side. We sat it on the hay bale we were using to stand on.
To remove the fuel tank you block it up, remove the hoses, take the air intake off the air cleaner, unbolt and rotate the metal elbow straight up out of the way. Then you unbolt the supporting straps and unhook the fuel sending unit.
Then you remove the front tank support, pull the blocks from under the tank and tilt the front of the tank down as far as you can. That way you can tilt the back of the tank up to get it past the cab and lift the tank up tilting it to clear the air cleaner housing. It is a bit tricky which why I'm writing it down. I forget from time to time.
The next tricky step is removing the engine and over/under without getting the short PTO shaft jammed up. It will either stick in the flywheel hub or the hub on the transmission side. If you know were it is going to stick you can either remove the engine and over/under as one unit or you separate the two at the clutch bell housing and pull the engine by itself.
The book shows how to make a clever little set screw plug thing that inserts into a hole in the over/under and clamps the PTO shaft. It doesn't work so after you make it you might as well just chuck it as far as you can throw it.

In theory you can use a bar to slide the ending ahead and then lift it straight out of the frame. However, that didn't work. We made a spreader bar to keep the chains from collapsing the valve covers and built it so you could adjust the center point. Then we hooked it to the loader tractor so when we lifted it pulled the engine forward. This worked pretty good but...

You then have to figure out if the PTO shaft is stuck in the clutch hub or in the transmission. This a very critical step as if you do it wrong things get very jammed up. I'm not really sure how to tell you to figure it out. I turned the fan and it seemed like too many things were turning. There is a coupler between the over/under and the transmission. I think you can slide it back far enough to get your fingers in to feel the PTO shaft but I couldn't. We took the weight off the engine and over/under as one unit but it just didn't want to slide far enough ahead.
So I slid it back and we unbolted the bell housing. The engine sprang free and we lifted it out.

Here is a photo of the offending PTO shaft. I was having a hard time getting the shaft loose from the transmission hub but I found that by turning the tractor wheels and backing up just a touch the over/under just slid off the shaft. Don't do this if you are not rebuilding the over/under as it can ruin the seals in the middle of the hollow shaft in the over/under which result in many puddles of oil and much frustration. What you should do is block up the over/under and make sure it is not in any kind of a bind and then you should be able to pull the shaft out by hand.

Make sure you have plenty of blocks to hold up the engine as it will otherwise crush the pan when you set it down. Also, make sure to block off the turbo intake. And, that is one heavy engine...

Having the proper sound system also helps. We hooked up the Sony portable reel to reel and listen to a little "mood" music.  I must say that several farmers who stopped by to observe were somewhat nonplussed by the sonic stylings of Boots Randolf and Matt Monro. Later we progressed to The Georgia Satellites, Joan Jett, and The Cars. Then the dogs knocked the speakers over...

Pictured below is Stanley, the dog who nearly made the music die. Not even dogs like "Leaving on a Jet Plane," set to strings. I think it was an act of desperation.

You have to read this story!

I got off on a tangent when I went in the house to warm up and put on a slicker so I could wash a tractor in the snow...
I was looking up info on the editor of the Portland Pravda who died whist nailing his mistress when I discovered the biography of what an American is supposed to be...
Click on this link
The wrong people are the ones who always are in charge!

Sergeant Schultz was just a regular guy...

The face of evil is not usually the simpering villain as show in Captain Klink. Instead it is everyday people just doing their jobs.
I've thought of that when dealing with some Hispanic people who have way too much money or some local folks who I know will steal you blind but yet are your friend when you see them in town.
And I think of it when I have my nice conversations various inspectors and petty bureaucrats who with one stroke of a pen, can fine me out of existence.
I've heard it as a child from my Uncle who immigrated to Texas from Germany between the wars and I think about it as I listen to stories told by people in LE to whom I sell hay.
My wife, by law, must report all suspicions of child abuse, OSHA inspectors MUST stop and inspect if they see any violations while driving, and I understand clergy and therapists must report anyone who asks for help which may involve suspicions of abuse.
I have been looking up convictions on Oregon's environmental crimes laws and it is amazing how little information I have found.
I did find out where an 80 year old guy is going to jail for not submitting to the authorities. They say he is not disposing of manure properly and he says he is. Of course NRCS has gone into "Captain Klink" mode and he is facing jail time unless he submits.  In the mean time local municipalities can (by accident of course) discharge MILLIONS of gallons of raw human waste into local "salmon" bearing streams with no threat of felony charges. And the irony is that if the older gentleman had this possibility of runoff written into his "conservation plan," and had applied for a CAFO permit he would be ok.
It is all about submission and assigning blame, and about a successful prosecution and a promotion. It is not about right and wrong and preventing harm to people.
This case is interesting because when you read the news story you see a picture of a independent person who believes he is right and the government who says he is wrong. I will reveal my bias when I state that I suspect much of the charge against him is manufactured to nail him for refusing to get the "correct" permit and to show how much the Gubment cares about the environment. (On the other hand I find it pretty funny that a fellow who thinks chemicals and commercial fertilizer should be banned is facing jail time for environmental crimes.)
Anyway, I'm starting to drift on my subject matter a little.
Here is a link to quotes from the ODA official who has the power of life and death over all of us.
He thinks he is a good person. He talks about how people are thankful that State has shown them the error of their ways. Well, of course... When he smacks you in the side of the head you say, "thank you may I have another," if you piss off the petty officials they fine you out of existence and you are guilty of a felony.
Take a good look at those quotes. That is the smiling face of oppression. "After all, it is for your own good."
And now I'm going to work...
One final thought, with the growing number of felony convictions for code violations, meaning random laws made up by regulatory officials, why is there not a lobbying group for convicted felons? I suppose by the time the State is done with them they have no finances but why not band together to hire a PR firm and improve their image? It worked for the "religion of peace," why not give it a try?

Edit: Here is a link to a local dispute, who do you want to believe? Farmer or the developer? And does the silt in the steam really matter? Erosion occurs in nature. It is part of the circle of life. We should not purposely pollute, purposely create horrible erosion problems, dump municipal sewage into the Yamhill... But of course, the question is, what about enforcement.