The Useful Duck!

Showing posts with label the daily strumpet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the daily strumpet. Show all posts

Sunday, January 4, 2026

Someone is doing a Best of The Daily Strumpet, but I can't figure out the traffic source

Something strange has happened to my blog.

Someone is reading old entries. Like they have posted a best of. Well, 12 hits in one day will set off by excitement meter as this blog has become pathetic.

I used to be a lot more entertaining!

I am out standing in my field and holding a big wrench
Back in the old days, 2013. I was more entertaining and better looking an no one had backed a forklift into the store air conditioner. I also had a big wrench.




Stanley was still alive. Stanley was an awesome dog!

You never know what you have until it is gone. 

The first story that caught my attention (13 views) what when Scooter boy lost his pigs and shocked the piss out of himself by picking up a live fence wire! I had forgotten about that one. I actually laughed out loud! (Click here for Scooter Boy, The Pigs, and What not to do with electric fences...)

Of course there is always the old faithful (20 hits this week), "An affront to German Engineering, I repair a Dual 1019," this one is linked somewhere and brings in a steady stream. Also the one about the Freeman Baler Company which isn't a very good post.

Next with 22 hits is just a random straw baling post with the MM G1355. (Click here)

This one called "Sunday Decisions and my Lack of Enthusiasm,"  had 18 views and it is about me staying home from Church to read a book and fix the sink and the book is boring and the waterline breaks and makes a fountain. I also rant about men's groups and I sound rather antisocial. Sort of funny.

"No news is Good News," is about bicycle crashes. Lots of comments.

This one got 18 views and is one sentence about finding eggs in the barn!

There are a few others but I am going to bed. I was a lot more entertaining before I went to work Linfield and got the soul depleted from my body...

Speaking of soul depleting jobs, this one also got 20 hits, it is titled, "I have yet to get fired..." That was prophetic. 

This one didn't get any hits, it was from day three of my new job. I can't believe I was there eight years... What a Maroon!

Edit: Five minutes after posting I see that someone in Portland is reading this blog! Its a Sunday night, you should be in bed! You probably have a real job...

Monday, December 15, 2014

Saturday, October 18, 2014

The Daily Strumpet Newspaper is the same as the Lazy Farmer who came up with the name in 1984 and wrote a newsletter for years

I was invited to a wedding today. I was a bit surprised to be invited. I like the kid, (actually he is not a kid anymore) I enjoy teasing him. He worked for a farmer who I stacked bales for. We ran stacker together for a summer or two. He is always really enthusiastic, always ready to tackle a new project. And he has a good sense of humor.
It reminds me of a story of our days stacking for the neighbor.
We were working in a big field with five balers and two stackers.
You dump the stacks in a row. Eight blocks make a truck load. You dump one stack beside the other with as small a space as possible between them.
The squeeze then picks them up and sets them on the truck.
The top bales need to be tied together so the stacks don't spread apart when the squeeze grabs the bottom layer. Usually, one person in the baling crew is assigned to tie stacks. In this case the stack tier was somewhat of a goofy kid who was slightly annoying. He was making a show of jumping for one stack to another, so I started setting the stacks just a little further apart each dump in an attempt to see how far he actually could jump without falling on the ground.
So... I got the last stack just a little two far away.
My friend saw the gap and thought I miss-counted the number of stacks for a truck load. He headed for the gap at full speed but he forgot one thing.
I did not raise the bale pickup.
The stack tier saw him coming and started running. I saw him coming hung out my door and frantically waved my arms.
He hit the stack so hard it actually exploded.
I looked around and saw everyone was looking at him. I got back in the stacker and started stacking...

At the Wedding I ran into a couple people I went to high school with. We talked for a long time. I scored a pie! (Thank you father of the groom)  It is a good pie. I'm having some now.
Several people asked about the Daily Strumpet. One suggested that in this modern age perhaps paper is outdated and perhaps I should try a blog.
I mentioned that one could do a search for "The Daily Strumpet," on the internet. I noted that one issue is on scribd.com. I looked it up. It was the Christmas issue for 2009. CLick Here to enjoy it.
If you do an internet search for The Daily Strumpet Newpaper you will see that I am number two. Someone has taken the name dailystrumpet.com.
I think if you were really interested in finding out if The Daily Strumpet, Americans irregular newsletter for regular people, is still published or has found another incarnation you could find it.
I rarely tell people who ask about TheDailyStrumpet that I have a blog under the name Budd E. Shepherd. I'm not sure why I'm hesitant or why I chose to do it under an assumed name. (If you email me I'll be happy to tell you my real name, I just use Budd E. Shepherd for things online to keep everything consistent.)
I feel sort of weird telling people I blog. It seems rather pretentious to say to people, "I'm a clever fellow, I'm a farmer with a bog!" Also, I tend to go off on strange subjects and use large words and I do this because I'm interested in the subject and like the sound of large words and not because I want my friends and neighbor's to think I'm a really smart and clever fellow. I'm quite content to rant at random people on the internet as I will probably never see them in person so who really cares? I have no reputation to uphold...
Several of my followers are former Daily Strumpet subscribers who went to a fair amount of effort to find me online. Or when I told them the address of the blog, they actually looked it up.
(In the early days I did tell people about the blog, then I discovered that they didn't actually follow it if they knew me and that is another reason I quit telling people. I'm not going to beg people to read the blog...)
Sometimes I wonder if I should do another Daily Strumpet on paper in news format and make up stories about people I know.
Did anyone read the issue on scribd? It wasn't one of the best.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I think I killed my Blog!

I signed up with Amazon associates so you can search books mentioned on this blog. It seems to have slowed things down a bit!
Any of you folks with a slow internet connection please comment and tell me if you can still load The Lazy Farmer.
If so, please buy stuff from Amazon by using my Amazon search feature, or the Cloud thing widget at the bottom of the page.
Should anyone happen by who wants to support the Lazy Farmer you can buy me something off my wish list. Just looking at my wish list should provide entertainment...
Or you can just cut the crap and donate 1.2 million to me through my paypal link!
So, if anyone has comments on my shameless efforts to get rich-comment away! I have pretty low expectations but it is really entertaining to see what Amazon thinks I'm talking about and the links to books they provide!
In news unrelated to my lazy efforts to become rich... I am listing to iTunes radio on the internet. Specifically the station, Boot Liquor on SomaFM. They were playing "I want you to want me" the old Cheap Trick song and it was set to banjo music. It was pretty good but iTunes has become so complicated I couldn't figure out how to get the mini-player to stay on top of everything else so I can see what I am hearing. Oh boy... now it is Iris Dement, she gets old in a hurry! Earlier it was Jim Croce singing about the dangers of cigarettes, strong drink, and wild women. A worthy cause on a Sunday morning when we should all be in Church...

Friday, January 1, 2010

A song for the Nude Year-er New Year!

Perhaps 2010 won't be such a crappy year after all. I have actually accomplished two difficult tasks this morning. I am soaking wet and slightly annoyed but yet strangely optimistic.

I made up a song about it.
Sung to the tune of "I shot the sheriff"

I started the Studebaker
It was not all that e-a-sy!

I started the Studebaker
It took me five cups of cof-f-ee!

I started the Studebaker
and then I moved the Vista off the river-bottom

I started the Studebaker
And now I am positively giddy!

What a way to start the New Year-as personal triumph and a song. If only I had a banjo...
Ooooh! I should also start the Triumph!



What I did was fix the flat tire on the Studebaker Cruiser and charge the battery. I sprayed a little starting fluid in the intake and she fired right off. I even had a sound track. I did a big no-no and left my Tom Petty cassette in the tape deck. IT started right up with, "Sometimes this world just seems a little hopeless..." I do not dare to ruin this fantastic radio shack stereo as you cannot buy dual shaft radios that will fit in the dash of old cars. Plus this one has a input jack for my ipod!
The flat tyre was also a problem. I found a tyre repair kit which is the kind you stab a patch into the tyre. Fortune was with me and the tires were only like 2 ply cheapos so it was not so hard to stab the patch through the steel belts.


 I didn't actually drive the car as I got distracted.
I was thinking about tires and I realized the our 1967 Minneapolis-Moline G1000 Vista that once belonged to John Fogerty (or his brother or cousin or something, according to the auctioneer-course they will say anything...) was still setting in the clover field with a flat tire. I had about 100 ft of airhose on the reel in my pickup so I strung it out to the tractor and waited for an hour.

The tire is so bad the side walls are shredded. I had to keep moving the tractor to keep the tire from leaking. I barely made it up the hill into the pasture before it was clear flat. I turned the tractor so the tire guy could get to it. I love that tractor, I wish I could restore it.


I am waiting for my friend from High School to call me. He is visiting for the holidays. He called and said he would come visit me. I suggested lunch at the Amity Cafe. This will not happen as I started to add up the time from where he was when he called to what he needs to do and the other people he needs to see and where he planned on going tonight. It is nice to have goals and it made me feel pretty darn swell that he called me. Perhaps I will drive the Studebaker in to have lunch. The tags are pretty much expired but perhaps I can get off with a warning if caught. If is a 1964 Studebaker. Obviously I don't drive it much and I have proof of insurance as I forget to de-insure it.
I do have to be careful about driving it as the green idiots that run this state have mandated alcohol in the gas. Alcohol in the bloodstream is fine. Of course in this advanced modern world they have got it all turned around. Alcohol in the bloodstream is now considered bad but alcohol in the gas is GOOD! Go figure...

Edit: 12 people have viewed this blog since this morning. But-does anyone comment? Look, you can say something rude if you want, I don't care. Just my luck, I find the 12 lazy farmers left in this country and they follow me. You could at least click the offensive button. My easily offended follower seems to have given up on his little hobby...

Monday, November 23, 2009

Why Winters at the Farm drive me insane

Saturday I worked in the shop. We share a shop with my uncle. This has always given rise to tensions as it always seems as though I do something wrong and then I don't react very well to the criticism. We had another one of those little incidents today.
I was sort of proud of myself. I only made a brief sarcastic comment and then remembered that it is not polite to swear at the older folks and it was not that important an issue anyway. My problem is that I am easy going to a point. When the point is reached then I can't seem to go back to reset mode. Then every time the person says something to piss me off I'm right back to the serious anger management mode. I work on it, now that I've figured out I have a problem.
So the issue was floor dry.
I was changing the oil in my pickup and I got distracted and wandered off. Somehow the drain pan tipped over and four quarts of oil went all over the shop floor. I hunted all over and could not find any floor dry or sawdust. So I went out to the barn and got some of the floor dry that I use to clean out my drill or to mix with seed or slugbait to let me plant at a lower seed rate than the drill is metered for.
I really didn't want to give up the floor dry and I knew my Uncle would not like the floor dry but oil was spreading across the floor.
My uncle likes to use sawdust to clean up oil spills. He has been getting it from the basement of the old farmhouse where Bro and Dad live now, for the past 50 years. I really don't care all that much but I don't like to go into the basement of someone else's home and get sawdust. Plus, sawdust is messy and it is usually wet.  It also does not absorb near as well as floor dry.
The uncle is kind of obsessed with sawdust. He likes to burn it in the stove when it has absorbed all the oil and he has this think about the little white flakes of floor dry getting all over in the shop. He also "doesn't like the way it crunches" under his shoes.
I kind of think this is stupid. You can burn the oil out of the floor dry if you want. You have to sweep the shop floor anyway, it works way better, and really-WHO GIVES A RATS BOTTOM what you use. It is kind of like people who are proud of being dirty and stupid.
I also realize that the whole arguement is pointless and I feel silly for getting annoyed.
And...I know the real reason I was getting a lecture. It is called "transference."
The real reasons I was in trouble:
1. His Case crawler broke a crank
2. His pot head grandson just called and said he was not working today
3. His one remaining employee is on a mission trip to Mexico
4. His son now works for the railroad and doesn't want to work on the bulldozer
5. I've been talking about buying a truck
6. I've been getting checks in the mail and I told everyone the story about the $5000 check.
So, now the floor dry bugs him.
I think I handled it well. I'm going to go sweep the shop floor while everyone is at lunch. The last time I got a lecture about something like this it didn't go so well. Perhaps I have matured.
Have a happy Day!

Edit: It is now an hour later and I went out and swept the shop floor. My uncle wanted me to make sure I got every little bit of floor dry. Then my dad called and said I need to come in the office before I leave. 20 years of weirdness kind of wears me down. Oh, now the phone is ringing again. Dad again. I should not have thrown my phone across the room. Now what good has that done. It did stop ringing but it is my phone. I don't feel better.
I can hear a pickup outside the window. We have been selling hay to a lady that rescues horse. We give them a good deal. I don't really care about her problems. She just loves horses. I don't care. I don't want to climb up on that stack and throw down a bale of hay for her. I want to be miles and miles away.
I seem to have broken the ringer on the phone. However it does keep beeping. Sounds like I have about five messages.
I really hate winter on the farm.
I want to go plant.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Grammar and Spelling and the Daily Strumpet

I have been reading my own blog! I think I already posted those photos. I have discovered lots of spelling and grammar errors.
I also found a stack of old "Daily Strumpets." They have the same problems... Perhaps this is why I was always on the verge of getting fired during my brief tenure at the News-Times.
I may put a few Strumpets on the blog if I can figure out how. I think I can do it as a pdf.
If my neighbor's dog shoots him again I am certainly doing a "Daily Strumpet." Can't do one based on a 5 year-old event.
This whole editing thing has always been an issue for me.
I write really fast. If I slow down I loose my train of thought as I have the attention span of a gnat. (I assume that is really short) I am always in a hurry writing as I only think of things to say when  I should be at work. I discovered that the funny grinding noise coming from the left front wheel when ever I applied the brake, was not a rock caught in the brake rotor. No, it was a missing brake rotor pad. Now I have to install a new rotor. Which goes to show the follow of the whole, "it's not a lie if you believe it school of equipment repair and mantinance.
Gotta Go! Goodbye!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Some photos of Minneapolis-Moline tractors

We have been cleaning house to get ready for Thanksgiving. I found a journal from 1993. I think I was a different person then. Perhaps not. There are things i would like to say but really who cares. It takes a person a long time to learn some very pretty simple truths. Truths that they don't teach you in school and they don't teach you this stuff because THEY (whoever they are-I suppose you could just say that it is the modern adult conspiracy, er post modern adult conspiracy...) don't want you to know this stuff because it is a lot harder to sell things to you if you are self contained.
I just talked to a friend who wants to quit his job. It is a not a good job. It is selling insurance. Insurance is a scam, and making cold calls selling people stuff they don't want but know they have to have is horrible. But, it is a job. You get paid. You don't really have to work real hard.
A person has to learn to separate things. You are not entitled to be happy. You are not entitled to have the perfect romance, the perfect job, the perfect anything. You must take your happiness when you find it. Have a hobby, have a happy spot in your mind, do what you have to do survive and make the money to live. Save for a happy day. Make your own happiness. One freaking foot in front of the other, you get up in the morning and force you butt out the door and down the street and you just do it...
So, when I look back on 1993 and I read what I missed and see that I was an idiot it doesn't matter. I do what I do now and I must do my best...
Anyway here are some photos. End of my speech. I need to call this guy and say, look you got a wonderful girlfriend, you are an artist, you have another life, just put your time in and save some cash and take the next opportunity. I'm not sure working for me and going to school again is an opportunity. I think it is a cop out... I probably won't call.
Photos! Your are here for pretty pictures not philosophy.

(Ed Winkle, if you read this tell me what photos have been posted on NewAgTalk cause I don't
 remember..)

This was me in 1982 or so...


 This is how you get the uni-combine off the power unit. If you ever see a hoist like this at a farm you know they had the uni-system. They seem so small now!


This is the tractor that put us into the 100 horsepower range. Bought it used at a farm sale. Seemed like a big tractor when we got it. Has been 17 or 15 years I guess now. Before we farmed with three M670 supers. Did 200 acres or so. Usually had 50 acres of corn.

This is from the early 1990's. When we really got serious about baling. We did over a thousand ton a year with these two balers. I remember stacking straw. Sometimes the stacks would be over 1/4 mile long. Put the straw up with a New Holland Super 1048. Loaded the bales on trucks with a farm hand F-11 loader on a 1964 M670.


This photo makes me sad. It is from ten years or so ago. We found the Studebaker in a barn. Had fairly low miles on it. We absolutely killed the truck. We should be banned from collecting!
 

Thursday, November 19, 2009

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars. Aspirations weblog has this as a topic. I think there is a weblog challenge to write a certain number of words or something. This if you had a million dollars thing is along those lines.
You see my problem is my attention span.
I look read her blog and Ed Winkles, then I get distracted by some other link and then I wander off through the internet and I can never remember where I started or what I wanted to look at to begin with.
This whole million dollar windfall thing is a game that Sadie and I play sometimes. It has to do with my faulty logic, which comes from attending a public school where logic is not taught.
I once read that you have nearly the same chance of winning the lottery if you don't play as if you do play. I don't play as I am to uptight to spend the dollar but somehow I have it in my head that I still could win. The illustration is supposed to make you understand that playing the lottery is such a long shot that actually buying a ticket doesn't really increase your chances that much. It is faulty reasoning to say that if you don't play you still might win. Still, it may happen to me....
S. wants to by legos.
I have simple needs. I want to pay off the bills and the farm and get my brother and I a retirement.
Now if I was filthy rich... The example of Nicolas Cage was brought up. It seems that he is as nuts as I have always suspected. He bought an island, lots of houses, all kinds of stuff and now I guess he is broke...
If I was like a 250 million dollar winner then that would be something else. I'm not sure I want that. It would either be really fun to farm, because you could do it anyway you wanted, or there would be no point to farming. I don't think I would know until my first crop failure.
The extra cash would be bad for the kid. Anything she would want. You don't really have the hunger to do something if you know you have a safety net.
I would like to set up a program of preschools which use retired people to give the kids a link to the past. Like grandparents. S. went to a preschool like that and it was amazing.
I'd like to own a couple thousand acres all in one spot. I would pick a year, like say 1967, (that way I could have a G1000 Vista) and I would allow nothing on that farm newer than 1967. (Except for children...)
There would be a visitor staging area, kind of like a qaurantine  facility. If you didn't have the right clothes you could check some out. (like bowing shoes at a bowling alley.) Any deliveries would have to be transferred to period vehicles. I'd let antique tractor people bring in their old tractors and play with them. I'd have lots of implements for them to pull. I'd have a farm that looked like the Marx Lazy Days farm. I would have the place divided into smaller farmsteads. So there would be a mix of small and large farms. Each farm would be out of a different decade. I'd try all the old techniques out of the Farmer Stockman's hand book of 1945. I'd raise old breeds of cows and real tomatoes and wooley pigs. There would even be some horse farmers. Perhaps I'd expand by inviting some Amish to start a colony.
No cell phones...
There would be no wine.
Hard cider perhaps.
I would allow banjo music but only once a week.
Visitors over 16 would not be allowed to wear short pants except when swimming at the ol' swimming hole. I would have a steam powered ice cream maker.
I would wear a Fedora and drive a 1953 Pontiac around the farm at break neck speeds. Perhaps I would have a very cute intern to drive me around.
But, I digress...
Sometimes Sadie and I play the three wishes game. We have pretty well figured that one out. We will ask for good fortune. I think that is bullet proof.
We will not ask for a sausage. I read a story about that once. Those folks ended up in the end with nothing...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sometimes it works out

I've been a bit depressed lately. Lot to do and no money coming in. I was planning on going to a fairly good sized agricultural show today with my sometimes a great employee young farmer kid but I found out S. was winning an award at school. So, I got D. to help me move farm equipment out of the river bottom. We had our 3 antique Hesston 6600's, the New Holland 1085 stacker, freeman baler, G1000 Vista, and a dead ranger pickup all lined up in the field. The idea was to blow them all off with the aircompressor, move them up to the shop and wash each one and find a shed to put them in. Well, the main employee just never came back to work a month or so ago and it didn't get done. I'm finally rained out from planting so I've been trying to get things put away. It is almost painful for me to see wet hay in the bale chamber of the baler.
D. helped me pull a the stacker out, it was stuck. Then he bought me lunch at Alf's. Had a very good hamburger I might add. He was trying to cheer me up. He has plans. We are going to build a shop...
We were going to go to the Ag Show but I found out S. was to get that award. She just had a teacher conference and the teacher said she is really good in all her courses. Math, spelling, and science. So, I'm thinking she is getting an award for something academic. I never got those awards. I was pretty happy.
I got to school and saw a former employee. We called him Smilin' Dave as he grinned a lot and is missing his front teeth. His kid vandalized the school last year as a second grader. He broke in and stole a jar of licorice. The kid likes school this year and is really doing well. He got the math award. His dad says he hates math...
S. got an award for being a nice person. I am postive she is my daughter but yet sometimes I wonder. I think the nice person award is kind of BS. I was going to take her to the AgShow with me today. I didn't so that she could get the award. She was kind of dissapointed. I think she figured she was up for something a little more substantial.
I took her home with me. Got her out of the last 20 minutes of school. It was close to 3 p.m. so we had coffee break. I had a pepsi and she had a coke. She drew a pretty good picture of us setting at the coffee break table. I think she is a good artist.
My brother called and was back from truck driving and thought we could still make the show. S. decided she wanted to play with her cousins instead. So I picked up my brother and took off.
Now for the amazing part of this story.
We walk in and are looking around for the Great Plains drills. I see a fellow I sold straw to last year right before the market crashed. I said hi to him and he says he has been looking for me. He pulls out his check book and starts writing. He hands me a check for $5,000. I ask him if he has sold my hay from this year. He says no this is from the straw from last year. He said he didn't want to get too far behind. Then he thanked me for encouraging the local dairy fellow who kind of went down in flames last year. I did think the dairy fellow kind of over reacted when I told him he was a really good dairy fellow that I always respected and as I knew he was having some tough times I was not going to charge him for planting his field. I didn't realize he was really depressed. I did want to encourage him and the field was only 12 ares. I set the drill wrong and ended up doing it again, and the GPS tablet crashed, and I really had no idea the true acres and I just thought I'd just not charge the guy. The fellow who bought my straw said I gave the dairy dude encouragement at just the right time. That made me feel worthwhile. It does kind of make the idea of doing the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing and not to be thinking of doing the right thing to make yourself look good but, doing it because you want to, much more rewarding. Now that was a run on sentence... Anyway I feel much better this evening.
I really didn't expect to see that money. Wow! Glad I decided to go!
I pretty much have the money spent already-but it does take a lot of pressure off me. Half the stacker payment right there!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

The Sun shining on 1/2" of Water in the field

I got my field planted...
If I were not such a lazy farmer I would get out of my armchair and get my camera. I could yell at me wife to do it and if I said "please" there is a really good chance she would, because she is a happy and helpful person. But, i hate to push that. Perhaps I'll try for another cup of coffee from her, and see if I can talk her into fixing me something really good for breakfast.
I'll try psychology.
"Those were really good sausages we had yesterday," said I.
"Those were really fatty," she says.
No such luck.
I'm eating the heel of a loaf of bannana bread.
"Are you saving this foil for something else," she says.
"Yes," I reply.
So much for psychology...
S. has two basket ball games and we have a wedding to attend. I should not try amature psychology on my longsuffering wife under such circumstances.
She grew up in the city. Her father was home evenings and weekends.
I am often gone even though we live on the farm now.
I always work on Saturdays.
When I don't work I am tired and often grumpy and I never get stuff repaired around the house.
In my imagination farms are like the Marx farmsets from the 1960's.
Barn full of cows, chicken house with chickens, a little Minneapolis-Moline 335 for a tractor, four kids. That sort of thing.
Have you ever been in a barn stuffed to the rafters with hay? Especially if you worked your bottom off stuffing that hay in to the rafters. And you picked up the hay in the field with a 1949 Studebaker and a 1942 Chevy truck....
It is the middle of winter and cold outside. But the cows keep the barn warm. There is a warm yellow light from the old incandescent lightbulbs screwed into the dusty white porcelain fixtures. You can smell a comforting mixture of grass hay and molassas and just enough of a faint hint of cow crap that you know you are not just waking up to a breakfast of hot oatmeal, (unless you actually live in a barn).
When you open the old barn door you hear the squeek of the pulley on the counterweight. Someone had a good idea 40 years ago. When the cows hear the squeek they all start talking at one. They know it is feeding time. You climb the stack and kick down a couple bales of grass hay. The hay is so green inside and the smell of summer comes out of the bale. You fork the hay into the manger, you get a five gallon bucket of oats and screenings, and then top it all with a dribble of molassas. The cows are all happy and chewing away. You can hear the sound of 20 cows all chewing at once. There are some snorts and sniffles and cows playfully butting each other. If you stick your head over the manger a curious cow will stick her head up and give you a watery sniff and sometimes stick out her tongue. Of course as soon as she lifts her head, her neighbor dives into her spot as she is sure that there is something better next to her.
The chickens are all asleep as it is dark out. When you open the door you hear a faint murmer of clucking. They know it is breakfast time as well. The eggs are still warm when you pick them up. You have to watch old mamma hen who wants to set. She will peck you if she gets the chance. Sometimes the water is frozen and you have to pour hot water on the waterer to thaw it out. You fork some clean straw in and the more adventurous chickens start scratching for seeds.
By now it is light out and you have to make a run for the house, get your school clothes on and make it to the school bus on time.
We don't have cows. We don't put hay in the barn by hand. The barn is full of stuff we can't throw away. We burn the bad hay. The kids watch cartoons in the morning.
I don't feel like getting up early.
Progress I suppose.
 So I wrote all that and realized what I wrote didn't match the post title.
My lovely wife brought me poached eggs and toast. But, no coffee. I don't have the nerve to ask.
I finished the field I was so worried about. Sadie and I went out yesterday morning and we just fired up the White 2-155 and put the drill down and went.
We had to use the 4wd pickup to get to the field. There was a 1/2" of water on parts of the field and the sun was shining. I have some photos but I left the camera in the pickup. Every opener was plugged with bits of straw from the combine run oats. I pretended I didn't see it. The no-till coulters were working the ground enough that the harrow covered up the loose seed that spilled freely out of the seed cups. There was only four acres left plus another four acres of headlands. The field was two foot tall wheat stubble, probably 130 bushel yield, cut with a 20 foot header. There were windrows. I realized why I bought the Great Plains drill. It all flowed through, didn't plug, the air-design scrapers worked perfectly. I didn't look at seed depth. I didn't see any seed on top of the ground.
We got it done. It was a little slimy on the headlands.
There there was the delemia of getting the tractor out of the field. I needed to move the drill home but S. is only 7 years-old and shouldn't be driving on the highway. I put the truck in 4wd. S. drove the truck and followed me. It was pretty slick getting the tractor and drill out but S. did really well in the truck. Once on the highway I went back and shifted the truck into 2wd and put the flashers on. Sadie followed me down the highway several hundred yards to the farm grain tanks. She did very well. She is a careful driver.
Then we went to the cafe for lunch. We are farmers!
The drill is absolutely covered in mud. A good two hour wash job.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Long Live The Family Farm

Here are some family farm photos for you. So there are still some poor suckers using AGCO orphans!


(Note: Photo's are not from 1980...)





AGCO wants to connect with farmers. They have a shill on the NewAgTalk website. Oh, and they have a blog. And A picture site. Wonder how long that will stay around...




Was just looking at photos on AGCO's website. http://www.longlivethefamilyfarm.com/ Ed Winkle did a blog about the site on his blog. (http://hymark.blogspot.com) For his efforts he got a plug on another AGCO website (http://agcodtb.blogspot.com/)
Ed seems to be a pretty positive sort of guy, while traditionally here at the Daily Strumpet we have pretty much thrived on finding the black lining to every silver cloud. Back in the day of the paper publication of The Daily Strumpet, much of the humor was gained for finding the odd little tidbit and blowing it completely out of proportion...
So, I suppose I should do a quick history of Moline and post some photos over at the Long Live the Family Farm website.
The problem is that I really don't like Agco. I never liked White. I did have some admiration for a company that could take two companies, Oliver and Minneapolis-Moline, and totally alienate their most loyal followers in the course of a decade. They were able to take two companies which had something like 10 percent of the tractor market each, and merge them into one company with like seven percent of the market.
I did like White-New Idea. It seemed like they were really trying to build on the old lines. I thought the White American series was a pretty neat line. The last small tractor really built in America, I guess that is not a good advertising slogan. I wish they would have rebuilt the M670 Moline or G1000 rather than the Oliver 1800 but I appreciated the effort. I still dream of having White American's with FWA and Cabs pulling my hay equipment. Of course I was totally broke at the time the White American came out.
The merger with AGCO was a dark day in my new found White appreciation. It would seem that Agco's goal is to become the General Motors of the farm equipment business. Instead it seems more like the American Motors of the ag industry. They have bought up legions of small line manufacturers and made them disappear. Sure there are a lot of logos on the AGCO heritage site but that is basically all they are. Just logos...
So now we have the Long Live the Family Farm site. Just what does that mean? There are no family farms of the sort represented by old calendars and Marx play sets.
I live on a "family farm." We are going broke farming 400 acres. We got rid of the cows because we are off the farm doing custom baling and planting to hold of going completely broke, and we don't have time for the livestock. We don't all come in for a big dinner, we don't milk 10 cows, but we do run old Minneapolis-Moline and White equipment. Does AGCO really care? I think if they did they perhaps would not charge $800 for a hydraulic valve or $100 for a valve rebuild kit.
And then there is the issue of Hesston. I understand the disappearing brands. After AGCO concentrates really hard on a brand, gets rid of the old engineers, cheapens the construction, irritates the customer base, then they have to retire it. The key to understanding when this is going happen is to watch for the last gasp advertising campain where they tout the "Heritage" commitment of AGCO and it's love of small farms which still use, for example: Hesston products.
MasseyFerguson was one of the best selling world wide brands. But, really it was the only brand AGCO had not completely ruined by associating its name with. So it has become the final target of destruction. (Although, I see all Orange on the new AGCO websites. So perhaps they think people have forgotten the royal screwing all the AC owners got back when the signs were all green and the old dealerships were forced out of business.
So, there is no more Hesston. My grandfather worked for the fellow who started Hesston. (Was a while back.) I switched to Hesston when I bought my first real (meaning expensive) mower. A Hesston 1340. It has been an excellent mower and the parts prices were at one time so affordable I could actually run it. Later I bought a Hesston 4690 three tie baler, also a very good buy. (I hear Hesston will discontinue the three-tie baler soon). Almost bought a new 1345 but didn't want on that said Massy-Ferguson on it. So I bought a Great Plains drill instead...
Then there is the White corn planter. The White planter is considered one of the best planters on the market. It has a very loyal following-so why would you rebrand it MF? Hesston has a long line in the hay business, MF does not... So the obvious choice for AGCO... Rebrand Hesston.
Or what about this for an idea. Sell Yellow tractors to Cat industrial dealers so that they can COMPETE with AGCO and Hesston dealers who have been struggling to promote their brands for years. That is sure brilliance!
Anyway, perhaps I'll post on the site anyway. DOn't think I'll get a link back...

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Saturday ramble



I'm a Mac person. I have been a Mac person since the day I gave up on the old Commodore portable. This could be the first time in my life I have purposely and under no duress sat down with a PC and written something just for the fun of it. Strangely I feel no shame.

And since this blog tends to be a bit stream of consciousness I'll digress... Steve Jobs is toast. Pancreatic cancer does not go away. You have it you are are dead. My Mother died of it.The statistics are pretty grim. The average is two years. Should you have treatment, chemo, or the infamous Whipple surgery, the average is still two years. Once fellow lived 10 years. This ruined the curve. Mom lived three months.

That has nothing to do with me using a Fujitsu 3400 tablet PC.

The 3400 is my tractor GPS system.

I am cheap and a bit misguided.

I just downloaded OpenOffice. (www.openoffice.org). I can now do everything that I could do with Microsoft Office. For free.

I am using that ability to avoid work. I just took the Christmas tree down to the river. Have had a hard time getting rid of Christmas trees since I read the Hans Christian Anderson story about the little Christmas tree. I know that they really have no consciousness, but still... So I am setting in my pickup trying out the word processing feature of OpenOffice. It is a beautiful day. The ground was covered with frost when I woke up this morning.

I do wish Apple would have made a tablet computer. Of course I could not afford it.

I am running my GPS guidance system with this Fujistu 3400, (ebay $60), FarmerGPS (program cost $350, see www.farmergps.com), and a Raven Invicta 210 receiver and antenna (ebay $350).

There have been addition costs. My first 3400 had a hard drive failure. ($60 ebay) Then it melted. I was driving along spreading slugbait with my free Ford ranger, using my gps at 20 mph with a heater as opposed to freezing my bottom off using a four wheeler. I smelled electric smoke, then the screen went blank. I saw smoke coming out of the vent on the 3400. I actually melted the motherboard where the USB connector mates in. I just got another 3400 on ebay, which seems to work much better than the first one I bought.

Farmer GPS is just a program that runs on the tablet PC, or any PC for that matter. It doesn't take a lot of processing power. Has a birds eye view, and there is a light bar at the bottom of the screen that will tell you which direction to turn. Will do last pass, circles, AB lines, and you can get an interface box to shut it off when the implement is raised. You can also export shapefiles and I think you an import Google maps. I don't know how to do that but it sounds pretty cool.

I like it as I have a lot of problems when I'm no-till planting after dark. When I plant back and forth I get lost when turning around at the end of the fields. The drill doesn't make enough of a mark to see as you make a wide turn. The other feature is that you can drive around a field and tell the acres, or if you are nearly done, you can also drive in a circle and see how much you have left.

Plus, I can use the PC for iTunes, which lets me listen to music, or if I get really bored, watch cartoons or South Park episodes which I have previously downloaded.

So I am hiding down here at the river. Listening to the hunters blasting away at ducks and not really worrying about all the crap I have to do.

Yesterday I delivered my weeks effort of ground feed. Got $550 out of the deal. Had to take a check.On the way back I stopped by the neighbors place. His truck driver is interested in 50lb bags. They made fun of my truck. Neighbor is a good friend. He has a 1967 red Ford F700 are well. His is in perfect shape. He just waxed it and it looks new.

Mine is not so nice. I bought it somewhere around 10 years ago at an auction. Paid, $2500 for it with side racks and an automatic endgate. Since then it has hauled quite a few loads of silage and hay. Three years ago my cousins son crashed his little Dodge Dakota into it at 50 mph. He was heading down to the river on our farm with his friends. The friends were going ahead and he was following in the dust. Driving pretty much blind on a one lane gravel road. The truck driver headed for the ditch with the first car. Next car didn't see the truck and hit the bed just behind the cab. Since the truck was turning the pickup slid down the side of the bed till it hit the rear duals. It his so hard it bent the truck axle and knocked the rear end completely out from under the truck. Sixteen foot bed loaded with 7 ton of silage. Totaled the pickup. One kid left by ambulance, one by helicopter.

No lasting injuries, other than pride.

I got $3500 out of the truck. Then fixed it up again. It is not the same... There are some wiring problems, lights quit, two speed motor doesn't work. Now the transmission pops out of two gears. At some point in time my larger than life employee stood on the roof, so now if you stop suddenly after a heavy rain, water runs down throught the window which won't roll up completely. Truck drives nice.

Just another thing that needs to be fixed.

I guess with that reminder I had better go back to work...

Please leave comments! It is really easy!

You just type your comment in the text box below the post. You can be anyone you want.
And...Would the joker who keeps clicking "offensive" please leave an explanation ?!