The Useful Duck!

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Monday, January 9, 2023

My life at the Uni and why I keep using up my sick time

I took the day off work. I don't like Mondays...

Yesterday it poured down rain when I was loading pig feed. 

It stopped the moment I was finished. God was telling me that is what I get for skipping Church and working on Sunday.

One customer decided to delay his pick up. He also noted that he had the same headache as me and it lasted two weeks. I told him thankyouverymuchly!

So I called in sick for Monday. Mostly because it is really getting harder and harder to go to work. It is really silly. I just feel like I am wasting my life. Not sure why I am so reluctant to actually go to work.

My daughter graduates April 29th and so it no longer fiscally makes sense for me to continue my job. It is a problem however to decide what to do.  I have decent insurance. I get 16hrs time off per month. The generous retirement contribution may come back. I get paid $5 an hour below similar jobs in the real world. I do not have to work hard at all. In fact I probably should be doing a second job, or reviving the Daily Strumpet while at work because once the low productivity standard has been set, it is counter productive to improve.

The only marketable skill that I have is my Commercial Driver's License and I don't like driving truck. Scares the poop out of me. I also get lost. I have been looking for Turf Management/Groundskeeping jobs but the problem is that I really don't know that much because I work for people who know nothing. Instead of getting certifications in my spare time I have been working Farming. I should be doing certifications instead of watching old clips from the Benny Hill show at work, Hmm... New Plan for the new year???

I have been trying to be more positive and see my job as a wellspring of bitter humor. It never disappoints. 

Last Friday I was talking to a coworker about the issue of student enrollment. Suckering Hispanic parents who have never attended college into sending their daughters to a Private University by implying upwardly mobile social status is my school's current marketing plan. What is funny is that it is totally working!

The school seems to have lost the previous market where rich Chinese parents sent their underperforming students to America in the hopes of a green card marriage or just to get rid of them for four years. This was an important funding source.

White people are totally out of fashion in the Academic world so recruiting legacy students is a lessor priority.

But, I digress.

I was talking to a coworker. Keep in mind this coworker is a Pastor, he is very serious appearing, he is a man who cares deeply about students and people and who works hard to take on leadership roles no one else will do. In short, an innocent, and a good guy.

So he is telling me about a girl from Spain who wants to attend our University. I not sure his exact connection but I think she is a friend of a friend through Church. My friend contacts the Admissions department to find out how to get her the info on enrolling, to see about foreign student tuition, admission requirements, and so on. 

First of all, the admissions lady wants to know how the girl is paying. My friend says that actually a lady in France is paying. (which was of course too much information.) The admissions lady gets all upset and concerned about... SEXUAL TRAFFICKING!!! My friend was confused and rather hurt as this is just beyond his comprehension. 

He notes that he is 50 years old, he has a son her age, and why would he bring her to the USA and pay that insane tuition just for sex, and I am saying in my head, "Cause she is over 18 and kind of hot..." But, I internalized that. I mean if I had a million dollar income I would pay for her to the come to the USA and marry one of my Nephews just cause I am great Uncle.  Shoot, I were in his situation I would actually be willing to claim she was my daughter, get her free tuition, NOT tell her, and then make her do farm work and go to antique tractor shows, play with legos, go on motorcycle rides, all just because I miss my daughter. (I but I would make a legally binding contract because she would probably find me a bit annoying and want to go back home again.)

But, I digress...

I assured him it was because the Admissions Lady had probably just had some required sexual harassment training that she actually took seriously and is just being extra careful. 

Yup, that's my University! They wouldn't know sexual trafficking if it bit them on the ass but they can certainly alienate well meaning, overly honest, and slightly confused people.

All of us hourly wage folk have to take sexual harassment training and racial bias training and it was not an hourly wage employee who fingered a student and got a major lawsuit against the college! Go figure...

For my next post I am torn between relating the story of my coworker who brutally prunes trees to death and get congratulated by the most of grounds team and supervisor because they have zero knowledge of tree care but don't actually know they are idiots, OR the new publicity girl who actually dresses like Jessica Rabbit, and claims to have invented the term "Adulting."

I am torn, what is the difference between "Absurdism," and "Surrealism." I don't know, I am only a groundskeeper...

Note: This year I have an awesome workstudy student. He really likes to work so we get a huge amount done. But, he also likes to drive around and talk about fishing, building his AR, laughing about the liberal idiots, and Friday he discovered my bluetooth speaker. My phone bluetooth died so he hooked up his. He wanted to know what I liked to listen to. He now enjoys George Jones, Billy Joe Shaver, and (shudder) David Allen Coe. I feel God will punish me for the latter, and rightly so.

I have not introduced him to Scuzzy Twittly...

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