The Useful Duck!

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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

My appeal for money, and rain photos

The I have been working ideas for a gofundme page to buy a really good colander to wear on my head instead of the stainless steel strainer. I was pretty anxious to find those missing minutes where I may have gone to sleep been kidnapped by aliens but I'm thinking that perhaps I was just eternally driving in circles and it would be really boring.
I need to incorporate a really good emotional hook. Having some problems.... Especially since the real reason for my need for money is to buy a Lee Moses album, Four Roses legos for my daughter who is too old to play with them, Four Roses parts to restore my Triumph, Four Roses, and if there is any money left, a FWA White 120 to mow hay with.
Here it is so far...

Give my your money! I am a poor struggling farmer who need money to support his closet drinking problem family.
I must buy a new colander to wear on my head to protect myself from aliens who want to steel my brain in order to create banjo playing robots. This could mean the end of the human race as we know it because, I DON'T PLAY THE BANJO!
I only need 1.2 million dollars! (this is only a one time donation of $1 for 1.2 million people.)
While the colander may cost slightly less, the family dog has fatty tumors and my require surgery again. He is a good dog.

I think it will work...

In other news:
It is now raining... Here is a photo from the day before yesterday. See the nice young fellow who is helping me spread fertilizer. He is an energetic young farmer who is not depressed at all. He loves farming.

Here is a photo from yesterday. I'm getting ready to vacuum out the drill. It is raining. I'm setting in the pickup attempting to warm up.

Here is a photo out the window of the tractor whilst planting orchardgrass for a pasture. There was a nice rainbow.  Someone stopped and took my photo framed by the rainbow. I imagine it is on facebook somewhere.
Five minutes earlier


  1. I hear tinfoil makes a pretty good helmet. Cheaper than a collander too. I have come to the conclusion that I would need a lot less money if I was to quit this farming habit. But then I would make a lot less too. Vicious circle comes to mind.

    1. Perhaps I should manufacture my own radiation suppression haberdashery. Perhaps I could get on coast-to-coast. A good project for MuddyValley in his retirement

  2. *OFG digs thru couch cushions looking for change* Sure! I'll donate!

  3. Best to stick with the colander. Tin foil would work great, but you can't find it anymore. It's all aluminum foil and that works well enough for a batch of brownies but does nothing for alien radiation. And why was tin foil replaced with aluminum? If you have to ask, you don't realize the depth of the conspiracy.

    1. Ah yes! And that is also why they got rid of baby moon hubcaps. No way now to avoid radar by crumpling tin foil and putting it in the hubcaps.

  4. And stainless steel is even less effective than aluminum. I should have mentioned that first.

    There used to be a tin snip shop in my hometown. Now it's gone and no one can remember what became of it. The guy made all sorts of fun things, like floats for livestock water tanks.

    My advice, while you are waiting for the colander delivery, is to swipe the float from a neighbor's tank, and wear that for a hat instead of the stainless steel strainer.

  5. A sheet of copper, a round headed maul, & a drill & you can make a very effective colander hat. I hear copper is popular with the homeopaths, so it probably works for alien rays too.


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