The Useful Duck!

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Saturday, May 5, 2012

"I didn't Inhale," Slogans for Ken Huffer's Landfill Park in Yamhill County

"It's for the common good," "Anyone on that road who would have come out in favor of the park would have been ostracized," "There are no statistics showing an increase in crime around parks in Yamhill County," "Yamhill County Police response time is not our problem," "The dump is not our problem," "Traffic and crime problems can be solved through the condition use process," "Smell? What smell?"
Ok, I see the writing on the wall. I don't want to be an obstructionist. I'm going to apply for a permit to open a Kiosk in front of my house to sell t-shirts, beer, starting fluid, battery acid, and little clothespin things for your nose.
I am sure Yamhill County will give me the permit, after all... "It's for the common good!"
I've got great ideas for slogans,
Landfill Park, it looks better than it smells!
I Huffed at Landfill park-methane gives a better buzz!
Or perhaps a t-shirt that says "I- (picture of Ken Huffer with the barn coming out of his head) Landfill Park. (Get it, "Huffer... Huffing... drugs, methane, smelly gas? Get it?)
Arsenic makes me happy! Have a drink at Landfill Park.
Or- Yamhill Country, We recycled a landfill! Whoop! Whoop!
Don't inhale? Hike Landfill Park- Yamhill County, Oregon
or perhaps a public service campaign for people with chronic flatulence.
-Lady is standing next to her husband, you hear a farting noise, she says, "Oh dear me, I think I tooted," Husband say, "Oh no honey, it was just the park!"
Voice over says, "Beat the high price of gas this summer and vacation at Landfill Park, if you toot, no one will notice..."

Advertising slogans, "Lick the three headed frog at Yamhill County's Landfill Park."
Or, "I touched the caustic slime at Landfill Park."
Or, "Smell the country! And all the towns in between! at Land fill Park!
Or, Visit Landfill Park in Yamhill County, Our S--t doesn't stink! (According to the Parks Department)
Or Jump the Fence at Landfill Park-and glow for a week!

Just a few ideas off the top of my head...

And one really offensive slogan,
Who cares about dead Indians when they don't own a casino! Camp on a burial ground at Landfield park!

Oh, and what about, "Visit Landfill Park, Superfund Runner up in 1981!"

Have a nice day! Be sure and give me the finger when I'm taking up two lanes of the highway when you are driving to the casino today!

Update: I just thought of another benefit of camping at Landfill Park (Near Whiteson in Yamhill County). You don't have to pick up your litter!  It's a DUMP!

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