Christmas Issue

I'm thinking about a Christmas issue.
Possible headines-Uncle Ted nominated to Accountant Hall of fame. Located in ???? LF's accountant of the year since 1942 joins such accountant luminaries as ??? and ???.
Aliens abduct somewhat dependable employee. Given body and brain transplant. Now shows up on Mondays.
Uncle Harold gets five barrels of floordry for Christmas, wonders what he did wrong. "Traditionally we were given chunks of coal," he said.
I need a major news story, a feature, and a couple small sidebars. Oh and letters to the editor. I can make those up. I should add an out of date schedule for Flying Pig Banjo and Fiddle.
Perhaps a story of editor winning safe farmer of the year award and photos of my open belt hammer mill.
Hmmm. Somthing to think about today.