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Thursday, November 19, 2009

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars. Aspirations weblog has this as a topic. I think there is a weblog challenge to write a certain number of words or something. This if you had a million dollars thing is along those lines.
You see my problem is my attention span.
I look read her blog and Ed Winkles, then I get distracted by some other link and then I wander off through the internet and I can never remember where I started or what I wanted to look at to begin with.
This whole million dollar windfall thing is a game that Sadie and I play sometimes. It has to do with my faulty logic, which comes from attending a public school where logic is not taught.
I once read that you have nearly the same chance of winning the lottery if you don't play as if you do play. I don't play as I am to uptight to spend the dollar but somehow I have it in my head that I still could win. The illustration is supposed to make you understand that playing the lottery is such a long shot that actually buying a ticket doesn't really increase your chances that much. It is faulty reasoning to say that if you don't play you still might win. Still, it may happen to me....
S. wants to by legos.
I have simple needs. I want to pay off the bills and the farm and get my brother and I a retirement.
Now if I was filthy rich... The example of Nicolas Cage was brought up. It seems that he is as nuts as I have always suspected. He bought an island, lots of houses, all kinds of stuff and now I guess he is broke...
If I was like a 250 million dollar winner then that would be something else. I'm not sure I want that. It would either be really fun to farm, because you could do it anyway you wanted, or there would be no point to farming. I don't think I would know until my first crop failure.
The extra cash would be bad for the kid. Anything she would want. You don't really have the hunger to do something if you know you have a safety net.
I would like to set up a program of preschools which use retired people to give the kids a link to the past. Like grandparents. S. went to a preschool like that and it was amazing.
I'd like to own a couple thousand acres all in one spot. I would pick a year, like say 1967, (that way I could have a G1000 Vista) and I would allow nothing on that farm newer than 1967. (Except for children...)
There would be a visitor staging area, kind of like a qaurantine  facility. If you didn't have the right clothes you could check some out. (like bowing shoes at a bowling alley.) Any deliveries would have to be transferred to period vehicles. I'd let antique tractor people bring in their old tractors and play with them. I'd have lots of implements for them to pull. I'd have a farm that looked like the Marx Lazy Days farm. I would have the place divided into smaller farmsteads. So there would be a mix of small and large farms. Each farm would be out of a different decade. I'd try all the old techniques out of the Farmer Stockman's hand book of 1945. I'd raise old breeds of cows and real tomatoes and wooley pigs. There would even be some horse farmers. Perhaps I'd expand by inviting some Amish to start a colony.
No cell phones...
There would be no wine.
Hard cider perhaps.
I would allow banjo music but only once a week.
Visitors over 16 would not be allowed to wear short pants except when swimming at the ol' swimming hole. I would have a steam powered ice cream maker.
I would wear a Fedora and drive a 1953 Pontiac around the farm at break neck speeds. Perhaps I would have a very cute intern to drive me around.
But, I digress...
Sometimes Sadie and I play the three wishes game. We have pretty well figured that one out. We will ask for good fortune. I think that is bullet proof.
We will not ask for a sausage. I read a story about that once. Those folks ended up in the end with nothing...


  1. Nice post, I'll be sure to avoid wishing for sausage :)God fortune seems like the perfect wish, along with wishing for more wishes :)

  2. I forgot the link to the sausage story! So perhaps that didn't make so much sense.
    I'm not sure you are allowed to wish for more wishes, seems like there be some sort of violation of the terms of service.
    However, it one looks at the story of Aladdin you see that he waited to make his final wish because the Djinn would have to protect him till the final wish was made.
    You have to be very careful how the wish is phrased as the wish granter is often mischievous or could be down right evil. (The Monkey's paw.)
    S. and I have discussed this a great length...

  3. From reading your posts I believe you are already rich. You don't need to win a lottery. You have all you need.

  4. John! I think your Monkey'n Around blogspot is a real hoot! I have not been able to find it. I just tend to wander aimlessly around the internet late at night and I forget where I've been. Thanks for your comment and thanks for following. I've got to add you to my public list!

  5. What a wonderful blog, you should read my post on Bubba and Billy Ray, at my other site, and how they won the lottery, it is a hoot.

  6. Thanks for the comment Bob! I know those people. Perhaps I'll have to write about more people I know. They will never find this blog, they would never get past the porn or the endlessly forwarded emails.


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